THE LIBRARY

OF

THE UNIVERSITY
OF CALIFORNIA

PRESENTED BY

PROF. CHARLES A. KOFOID AND
MRS. PRUDENCE W. KOFOID

Mn.s II AK K IE T NE WEI, L,

MEMOIRS

OF

MRS HARRIET NEWELL,

WIFE OF THE REV. S. NEWELt,

AMERICAN MISSIONARY TO INDIA,

WHO DIED AT THE ISLE OF FRANCE, Nov. 30. 181?,

iQinctecn

THE FIFTH EDITION.

WITH

AN APPENDIX,

CONTAINING,

A SERMON ON OCCASION OF HER DEATH,

AN ACCOUNT OF THE AME1UCAN MISSIONS,

And some further Particulars respecting Mr Newell and his
Companions in India.

EDINBURGH :

PRINTED BY AND FOR,

OGLE, ALLARD1CE, &, THOMSON;

OGLES, DUNCAN, & COCHRAN, LONDON; AND
M. OGLE, GLASGOW.

1817.

ADVERTISEMENT

TO THE

AMERICAN EDITION.

THE following Memoirs of Mrs NEWELL, are de-
rived almost entirely from her own writings. No-
thing has been added, but what seemed absolutely
necessary, to give the reader a general view of her
character, and to explain some particular occurrences
in which she was concerned. These Memoirs con-
tain only a part of her letters and journal ; the
whole would have made a large volume. The la-
bour of the compiler has been to select, and occa-
sionally, especially in her earlier writings, to abridge.
The letters and journal of this unambitious, delicate
female, would have been kept within the circle of
her particular friends, had not the closing scenes of
her life, and the Missionary zeal which has recently
been kindled in this country, excited in the public
mind a li vely interest in her character, and given
the Christian community a kind of property in the
productions of her pen. It was thought best to

IV ADVERTISEMENT.

arrange her writings according to the order of time ;
so that, in a connected series of letters, and extracts
from her Diary, the reader might be under advan-
tages to observe the progress of her mind, the deve-
lopment of her moral worth, and some of the most
important events of her life.

MEMOIRS

OF

MRS HARRIET NEWELL.

THE subject of these Memoirs was a daughter of
Mr MOSES AT WOOD, a merchant of Haverhill, Mas-
sachusetts, and was born October 10, 1793. She
was naturally cheerful and unreserved ; possessed a
lively imagination and great sensibility ; and early
discovered a retentive memory and a taste for read-
ing. Long will she be remembered as a dutiful
child and an affectionate sister.

She manifested no peculiar and lasting serious-
ness before the year 1806. In the summer of that
year, while at the Academy in Bradford, a place
highly favoured of the Lord, she first became the
subject of those deep religious impressions, which
laid the foundation of her Christian life. With se-
veral of her companions in study, she was roused to
attend to the one thing needful. They turned off
their eyes from beholding vanity, and employed then*
leisure in searching the Scriptures, and listening to
the instructions of those who were able to direct them
in the way of life. A few extracts from letters,
which she wrote to Miss L. K. of Bradford, will in
some measure, show the state of her mind at that
time.

MEMOIRS OF

1806.

" Dear L. I NEED your kind instructions now
as much as ever. I should be willing to leave every
thing for God ; willing to be called by any name
which tongue can utter, and to undergo any suffer-
ings, if it would but make me humble, and be for
his glory. Do advise me what I shall do for his
glory. I care not for myself. Though he lay ever
so much upon me, I would be content. Oh, could
I but recal this summer ! — But it is past, never to
return. I have one constant companion, the BIBLE,
from which I derive the greatest comfort. This
I intend for the future shall guide me.

" Did you ever read Doddridge's Sermons

to Young People ? They are very beautiful sermons.
It appears strange to me, why I am not more inte-
rested in the cause of Christ, when he has done so
much for us ! But I will form a resolution that I
will give myself up entirely to him. Pray for me
that my heart may be changed. I long for the
happy hour when we shall be free from all sin, and
enjoy God in heaven. But if it would be for his
glory, I should be willing to live my threescore
years and ten. My heart bleeds for our companions,
who are on the brink of destruction. In what man-
ner shall I speak to them ? But perhaps I am in
the same way."

In another letter to the same friend she says, —
" What did Paul and Silas say to the jailor ? Be-
lieve in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou slialt be
saved. Let us do the same. Let us improve the
accepted time, and make our peace with God. This
day, my L. I have formed a resolution, that I will

MRS NEWELL. 7

devote the remainder of my life entirely to the ser-
vice of my God. — Write to me. . Tell me my nu-
merous outward faults ; though you know not the
faults of my heart, yet tell me all you know, that I
may improve. I shall receive it as a token of love."

The following Summary Account of her Religious
Exercises was found among her private papers.

DIARY.

" A REVIEW of past religious experience I have
often found useful and encouraging. On this ac-
count I have written down the exercises of my mind,
hoping that, by frequently reading them, I may be
led to adore the riches of sovereign grace, praise
the Lord for his former kindness to me, and feel
encouraged to persevere in a holy life.

" The first ten years of my life were spent in
vanity. I was entirely ignorant of the depravity of
my heart. The summer that I entered my eleventh
year I attending a dancing school. My conscience
would sometimes tell me, that my time was foolishly
spent ; and though I had never heard it intimated
that such amusements were criminal, yet I could not
rest, until 1 had solemnly determined that when the
School closed, I would immediately become religious.
But these resolutions were not carried into effect.
Although I attended every day to secret prayer,
and read the Bible with greater attention than be-
fore ; yet I soon became weary of these exercises,
and, by degrees, omitted entirely the duties of the
closet. When I entered my thirteenth year, I was
sent by my parents to the Academy at Bradford.

MEMOI11S OF

A revival of religion commenced in the neighbour-
hood, which, in a short time, spread into the school.
A large number of the young ladies were anxiously
inquiring, what they should do to inherit eternal
life. I began to inquire, what can these things
mean ? My attention was solemnly called to the
concerns of my immortal soul. I was a stranger to
hope ; and I feared the ridicule of my gay compa-
nions. My heart was opposed to the character of
God ; and I felt that, if I continued an enemy to
his government, I must eternally perish. My con-
victions of sin were not so pungent and distressing,
as many have had ; but they were of long continu-
ance. It was more than three months, before I was
brought to cast my soul on the Saviour of sinners,
and rely on him alone for salvation. The ecstacies,
which many new-born souls possess, were not mine.
But if I was not lost in raptures on reflecting upon
what I had escaped ; I was filled with a sweet peace,
a heavenly calmness which I never can describe.
The honours, applauses, and titles of this vain world,
appeared like trifles light as air. The character of
Jesus appeared infinitely lovely, and I could say
' with the Psalmist, Whom have I in heaven but thee ?
and there is none on earth I desire besides thee.
The awful gulf I had escaped, filled me with asto-
nishment. My gay associates were renounced, and
the friends of Jesus became my dear friends. The
destitute broken state of the church at Haverhill
prevented me from openly professing my 'faith in
Jesus ; but it was a privilege which I longed to en-
joy. But, alas ! these seasons so precious did not
long continue. Soon was I led to exclaim, — Oh !

MRS XEWELL. 9

tliat I were as in months past ! My zeal for the
cause of religion almost entirely abated ; while this
vain wo~rld engrossed my affections, which had
been consecrated to my Redeemer. My Bible,
once so lovely, was entirely neglected. Novels and
romances engaged my thoughts, and hour after hour
was foolishly and sinfully spent in the perusal of
them. The company of Christians became, by de-
grees, irksome and unpleasant. I endeavoured to
shun them. The voice of conscience would fre-
quently whisper, fi all is not right.' Many a sleep-
less night have I passed after a day of vanity and
sin. But such conflicts did not bring me home to
the fold, from which, like a strayed lamb, I had
wandered far away. A religion, which was inti-
mately connected with the amusements of the world,
and the friendship of those who are at enmity with
God, would have suited well my depraved heart.
But I knew that the religion of the gospel was vastly
different. It exalts the Creator, while it humbles
the creature in the dust.

" Such was my awful situation ! I lived only to
wound the cause of my ever blessed Saviour. Weep,
O my soul ! when contemplating and recording these
sins of my youth. Be astonished at the long-suffer-
ing of Jehovah ! — How great a God is our God !
The death of a beloved parent, and uncle, had but
little effect on my hard heart. Though these afflic-
tions moved my passions, they did not lead me to
the Fountain of consolation. But God, who is rich
in mercy, did not leave me here. He had prepared
my heart to receive his grace ; and he glorified the
riches of his mercy, by carrying oil the work. I was

10

MEMOIRS OP

providentially invited to visit a friend in Newbury-
port. I complied with the invitation. The evening
previous to my return home, I heard the Rev. Mr
Mac F. It was the 28th of June, 1809. How did
the truths, which he delivered, sink deep into my
inmost soul ! My past transgressions rose like great
mountains before me. The most poignant anguish
seized my mind ; my carnal security fled ; and I
felt myself a guilty transgressor, naked before a holy
God. Mr B. returned with me the next day to
Haverhill. Never, no never, while memory retains
her seat in my breast, shall I forget the affectionate
manner in which he addressed me. His conversa-
tion had the desired effect. I then made the solemn
resolution, as I trust, in the strength of Jesus, that
I would make a sincere dedication of my all to my
Creator, both for time and eternity. This resolu-
tion produced a calm serenity and composure, to
which I had long been a stranger. How lovely the
way of salvation then appeared: — Oh, how lovely
was the character of the Saviour f The duty of pro-
fessing publicly on which side I was, now was im-
pressed on my mind. I came forward, and offered
myself to the church ; was accepted ; received into
communion ; and commemorated, for the first time,
the dying love of the blessed Jesus, August 6th,
1809- This was a precious season, long to be re-
membered I — Oh, the depths of sovereign grace !
Eternity will be too short to celebrate the perfections
of God.
August %!th, 1809. HARRIET ATWOOD.V

MRS JEWELL. 11

1806.

Sept. 1. A large number of my companions of
both sexes, with whom I have associated this sum-
mer, are in deep distress for their immortal souls.
Many, who were formerly gay and thoughtless, are
now in tears, anxiously inquiring, what they shall
do to be saved. Oh, how rich is the mercy of Jesus !
He dispenses his favours to whom he pleases, with-
out regard to age or sex. Surely it is a wonder-
ful display of the sovereignty of God, to make me a
subject of his kingdom, while many of my compa-
nions, far more amiable than I am, are left to grovel
in the dust, or to mourn their wretched condition,
without one gleam of hope.

Sept. 4. I have just parted with my companions,
with whom I have spent three months at the acade-
my. I have felt a strong attachment to many of
them, particularly to tho.se who have been hopefully
renewed the summer past. But the idea of meeting
them in heaven, never more to bid them farewell,
silenced every painful thought,

Sept. 10. Being indulged with the privilege of
visiting a Christian friend this afternoon. Sweet
indeed to my heart, is the society of the friends of
Immanuel. I never knew true joy until I found it
in the exercise of religion.

Sept. 18. How great are the changes which take
place in my mind in the course of one short day !
I have felt deeply distressed for the depravity of my
heart, and have been ready to despair of the mercy
of God. But the light of divine truth, has this
evening irradiated my soul, and I have enjoyed such
composure as I never knew before.

12 MEMOIRS OF

Sept. 20. This has been a happy day to me
When conversing with a Christian friend upon the
love of Jesus, I was lost in raptures. My soul
rejoiced in the Lord, and joyed in the God of my
salvation. A sermon preached by Mr M. this even-
ing has increased my happiness. This is too much
for me, a sinful worm of the dust, deserving only
eternal punishment. Lord, it is enough. *

Oct. 6. The day on which Christ arose from the
dead has again returned. How shall I spend it ?
Oh, how the recollection of mispent Sabbaths, em-
bitters every present enjoyment. With pain do I
remember the h*oly hours which were sinned away.
Frequently did I repair to novels, to shorten the
irksome hours as they passed. Why was I not cut
off in the midst of this my wickedness ?

Oct. 10. Oh, how much have I enjoyed of God this
day ! Such views of his holy character, such a desire
to glorify his holy name, I never before experienced.
Oh, that this frame might continue through life.

* My willing soul would stay,

In such a frame as this,
And sit and sing herself away,
To everlasting bliss.'

This is my birth day. Thirteen years of my
short life have gone for ever.

Oct. 25. Permitted by my heavenly Father once
more to hear the gospel's joyful sound. I have en-
joyed greater happiness than tongue can describe.
I hate indeed been joyful in the house of prayer.
Lord, let me dwell in thy presence for ever.

Nov. 2. How wonderful is the superabounding
grace of God ! Called at an early age to reflect upon

MRS NEWELL.

my lost condition, and to accept of the terms of salva-
tion, how great are my obligations to live a holy life.

Nov. 4. Examination at the academy. The
young ladies to be separated, perhaps for life. Oh,
how affecting the scene ! I have bid my companions
farewell. Though they are endeared to me by the
strongest ties of affection, yet I must be separated
from them, perhaps never to meet them more, till
the resurrection. The season has been remarkable
for religious impressions. But the harvest is past,
the summer is ended, and there are numbers who
can say, we are not saved.

Nov. 25. A dear Christian sister called on me
this afternoon. Her pious conversation produced a
solemn but pleasing effect upon my mind. Shall I
ever be so unspeakably happy as to enjoy the so-
ciety of holy beings in heaven ?

* Oh, to grace how great a debtor!'

Dec. 3. I have had great discoveries of the wick-
edness of my heart these three days past. But this
evening, God has graciously revealed himself to me
in the beauty and glory of his character. The Sa-
viour provided for fallen man, is just such a one as
I need. He is the one altogether lovely,

Dec. 7. With joy we welcome the morning of
another Sabbath. Oh, let this holy day be conse-
crated entirely to God. My Sabbaths on earth will
soon be ended ; but I look forward with joy unutter-
able to that holy day, which will never have an end.

Dec. 8. This evening has been very pleasantly
spent with my companions, H. and S. B. The at-
tachment which commenced as it were in infancy,
has been greatly strengthened since their minds
B

MEMOIRS OF

have been religiously impressed. How differently
are our evenings spent now, from what they for-
merly were ! How many evenings have I spent with
them in thoughtless vanity and giddy mirth. We
have been united in the service of Satan ; Oh, that
we might now be united in the service of God !

Dec. 11. This morning has been devoted to the
work of self-examination. Though I find within
me an evil heart of unbelief, prone to depart from
the living God, yet I have a hope, a strong unwav-
ering hope, which I would not renounce for worlds.
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul, for this blessed assur-
ance of eternal life.

Dec. 15. Grace, free grace is still my song. I
am lost in wonder and admiration, when I reflect
upon the dealings of God with me. When I meet
with my associates, who are involved in nature's
darkness, I am constrained to cry with the poet,

* Why was I made to hear thy voice,

And enter while there's room,
While thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come ?'

Dec. 31. This day has passed away rapidly and
happily. Oh, the real bliss that I have enjoyed 4
such love to God, such a desire to glorify him, I
never possessed before. The hour of sweet release
will shortly come ; Oh, what joyful tidings.

1807.

Jan. 8. A sweet and abiding sense of divine
things still reigns within. Bad health prevented
my attending public worship this day. I have en-

MRS NEWELL. 15

joyed an unspeakable calmness of mind, and a heart
burning with love to my exalted Saviour. Oh, how
shall I find words to express the grateful feelings of
my heart. Oh, for an angel's tongue to praise and
exalt my Jesus.

Jan. 5. I have had exalted thoughts of the cha-
racter of God this day, I have ardently longed to
depart and be with Jesus.

Jan. 9. How large a share of peace and joy has
been mine this evening. The society of Christians
delights and animates my heart. Oh, how I love
those who love my Redeemer.

March 25. Humility has been the subject of my
meditations this day. I find I have been greatly
deficient in this Christian grace. Oh, for that
meek and lowly spirit which Jesus exhibited in the
days of his flesh.

March 25. Little E.'s birth day Reading of those
children who cried Hosanna to the Son of David,
when he dwelt on earth, I ardently wished that this
dear child might be sanctified. She is not too young
to be made a subject of Immanuers kingdom.

May 1. Where is the cross which Christians
speak of so frequently ? All that I do for Jesus :*
pleasant. Though, perhaps, I am ridiculed by the
gay and thoughtless for my choice of religion, yet
the inward comfort which I enjoy, doubly compen-
sates me for all this. I do not wish for the approba-
tion and love of the world, neither for its splendour
or riches. For one blest hour at God's right hand,
I'll give them all away.

16 MEMOIRS OP

EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER SISTER M.
AT BYFIELD.

Havcrhill, August 26, 1807.

— " IN what an important station you are placed !
The pupils committed to your care will be either
adding to your condemnation in the eternal world,
or increasing your everlasting happiness. At the
awful tribunal of your Judge you will meet them,
and there give an account of the manner in which
you have instructed them. Have you given them
that advice, which they greatly need ? Have you
instructed them in religion ? Oh, my sister ! how
earnest, how engaged ought you to be, for their im-
mortal welfare. Recollect the hour is drawing near,
when you, and the young ladies committed to your
care, must appear before God. If you have invited
them to come to the Saviour, and make their peace
with him, how happy will you then be ! But, on
the other hand, if you have been negligent, awful
will be your situation. May the God of peace be
with you ! May we meet on the right hand of God,
and spend an eternity in rejoicing in his favours.-*—

HARRIET ATWOOD."

When Harriet Atwood was a member of Bradford
academy, it was customary for her companions in
study, whose minds were turned to religious subjects,
to maintain a familiar correspondence with each
other. A few specimens of the letters or billets,
which Harriet wrote to one of her particular friends
at that time, will shew the nature of the correspon-
dence.

MRS NEWELL. 17

TO MISS F. W. OF BRADFORD ACADEMY.

Bradford Academy, Sept. 1807.

As we are candidates for eternity, how careful
ought we to be that religion be our principal con-
cern. Perhaps this night our souls may be required
of us — we may end our existence here, and enter the
eternal world. Are we prepared to meet our Judge ?
Do we depend upon Chrises righteousness for ac-
ceptance ? Are we convinced of our own sinfulness,
and inability to help ourselves ? Is Christ's love
esteemed more by us, than the friendship of this

:orld? Do we feel willing to take up our cross
daily and follow Jesus ? These questions, my dear
Miss W. are important ; and if we can answer them
in the affirmative, we are prepared for God to require

our souls of us when he pleases.

May the Spirit guide you, and an interest in the

Saviour be given you ! Adieu. HARRIET.

Wednesday afternoon^ 3 odock.

TO THE SAME.

Bradford Academy, Sept* 11. 180T.

As heirs of immortality, one would naturally ima-
gine we should strive to enter in at the strait gate,
and use all our endeavours to be heirs of future
happiness. But, alas ! how infinitely short do we
fall of the duty we owe to God, and to our own
souls ! O my friend, could you look into my heart,
what could you there find but a sinful stupidity, and
rebellion against God ! But yet I dare to hope !
O how surprising, how astonishing is the redemp-

18 MEMOIRS OF

tion which Christ has procured, whereby sinners
may be reconciled to him, and through his merits
dare to hope ! O may his death animate us to a holy
obedience. H. A.

TO THE SAME.

Bradford Academy, Sept. 1807.

How solemn, my dear Miss W. is the idea, that
we must soon part ! Solemn as it is, yet what is it,
when compared with parting at the bar of God, and
being separated through all eternity ! Religion is
worth our attention, and every moment of our lives
ought to be devoted to its concerns. Time is short,
but eternity is long; and when we have once
plunged into that fathomless abyss, our situation
will never be altered. If we have served God here,
and prepared for death , glorious will be our reward
hereafter. But if we have not, and have hardened
our hearts against the Lord, our day of grace will
be past, and our souls irrecoverably lost. Oh then,
let us press forward, and seek and serve the Lord
here, that we may enjoy him hereafter. Favour
me with frequent visits while we are together, and
when we part, let epistolary visits be constant,
Adieu. Yours, &c.

HARRIET.

A very frequent and affectionate correspondence
was continued between Harriet Atwood and the
same friend, after that young lady left the Academy
and returned to Beverly, her place of residence.

MRS XEWELL. 19

TO THE SAME.

Haverhill, Oct. 12, 1807.

ONCE more, my dear Miss W. I take my pen and
attempt writing a few lines to you. Shall religion
be my theme ? What other subject can I choose,
that will be of any importance to our immortal
souls ? How little do we realize, that we are proba-
tioners for eternity ? We have entered upon an
existence that will never end; and in the future
world shall either enjoy happiness unspeakably
great, or suffer misery in the extreme, to all eter-
nity. We have every inducement to awake from
the sleep of death, and to engage in the cause of
Christ. In this time of awful declension, God calls
loudly upon us to enlist under his banners, and pro-
mote his glory in a sinful, stupid world. If we are
brought from a state of darkness into God's marvel-
lous light, and are turned from Satan to the Re-
deemer, how thankful ought we to be. Thousands
of our age are at this present period going on in
thoughtless security ; and why are we not left ? It
is of God's infinite mercy and free unbounded grace.
Can we not with our whole hearts bow before the
King of kings, and say, ' Not unto us, not unto
us, but to thy name be all the glory ?' Oh, my
dear Miss W. why are our affections placed one
moment upon this world, when the great things of
religion are of such vast importance ? Oh, that
God would rend his heavens and come down, and
awaken our stupid, drowsy senses. What great
reason have I to complain of my awfully stubborn
will, and mourn my unworthy treatment of the Son

20 MEMOIRS OF

of God ? Thou alone, dear Jesus, can^t soften the
heart of stone, and bow the will to thy holy sceptre.
Display thy power in our hearts, and make us fit
subjects for thy kingdom above.

How happy did I feel when I read your affec-
tionate epistle ; and that happiness was doubly in-
creased, when you observed that you should, on the
Sabbath succeeding, be engaged in the solemn trans-
action of giving yourself to God publicly in an ever-
lasting covenant. My sincere desire and earnest
prayer at the throne of grace shall ever be, that you
may adorn the profession which you have made, and
become an advocate for the religion of Jesus.

Let us obey the solemn admonitions we daily re-
ceive, and prepare to meet our God. May the
glorious and blessed Redeemer, who can reconcile
rebellious mortals to himself, make us both holy,
that we may be happy. , Write soon and often. I
am yours affectionately, HAEUIET ATWOOD.

TO THE SAME.

Haver hill, Dec. 2, 180T.

MOST sincerely do I thank you, my dear Miss W.
for your kind and affectionate epistle, which you
last favoured me with. Are religion and the con-
cerns of futurity still the object of your attention ?
New scenes daily open to us, and there is the great-
est reason to fear that some of us will fall short at
last of an interest in Jesus Christ. A few more
rising and setting suns, and we shall be called to
give an account to our final Judge, of the manner
in which we have improved our probationary state ;

MRS NEWELL.

then, then, the religion which we profess, — will it
stand the test ? Oh, let us with the greatest care,
examine ourselves, and see if our religion will cover
us from the storms of divine wrath ; — whether our
chief desire is to glorify God, to honour his cause,
and to become entirely devoted to him. What a
word is ETERNITY ! Let us reflect upon it ; al-
though we cannot penetrate into its unsearchable
depths; yet, perhaps, it may have an impressive
weight upon our minds, and lead us to a constant
preparation for that hour, when we shall enter the
confines of that state, and be either happy or miser-
able through an endless duration.

Last evening I attended a conference at Mr H.'s.
Mr B. addressed us from these words, *• I pray thee
have me excused.' His design was to shew what
excuses the unconverted person will make for not
attending to the calls of religion. It was the most
solemn conference I ever heard. Oh ! my friend,
of what infinite importance is it, that we be faithful
in the cause of our Master, and use all our endea-
vours to glorify him, the short space of time we
have to live on earth. Oh ! may we so live, that
when we are called to enter the eternal world, we
may with satisfaction give up our accounts, and go
where we can behold the King in his glory. We
have every thing to engage us in the concerns of
our immortal souls. If we will but accept of Christ
Jesus as he is freely offered to us in the gospel,
committing ourselves unreservedly into his hands,
all will be ours ; life and death, things present and
things to come. We should desire to be holy as
God is holy. And in some degree we must be holy,

MEMOIRS OF

even as he is, or we never can enter that holy habi-
tation where Jesus dwells.

Oh ! my dear Miss W. I cannot but hope that
you are now engaged for Christ, and are determined
not to let this world any longer engross your atten-
tion. Be constant in prayer. Pray that your friend
Harriet may no longer be so stupid, and inattentive
to the great concerns of religion. Pray that she
may be aroused from this lethargic state arid attend
to Christ's call. With reluctance I bid you adieu,
my dear Miss W. Do favour me with a long
epistle ; tell me your feelings ; how you view the
character of God in the atonement for sinners.
May we have a part in that purchase ! Remember
your friend, HARRIET,.

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVERLY.

Haverhill, Feb. 13, 1808.

ACCEPT, my dear Miss W. my sincere thanks for
your last epistle Your ideas of the necessity of
religion in the last extremity of expiring nature,
perfectly coincide with mine. Yes, although we
may reject the Saviour, and become engaged in the
concerns of this vain and wicked world ; although
while in youth and health, we may live as though
this world were our home ; yet, when the hour of
dissolution shall draw near, when eternity shall be
unfolded to our view, what at that trying moment
will be our consolation, but an assurance of pardoned
guilt, and an interest in the merits of Christ the
Redeemer ? We are now probationers for a never-
ending state of existence, and are forming charac-
ters, upon which our future happiness or misery

MRS NEWELL. S3

depends. Oh, if we could only have a sense of
these all-important considerations ? — How crimi-
nally stupid are we, when we know that these are
eternal realities ! Why are we not alive to God and
our duty, and dead to sin ? This world is a state of
trial, a vale of tears, it is not our home. But an
eternity of happiness or woe hangs on this inch of
time. Soon will our state be unalterably fixed.
Oh, let this solemn consideration have its proper
weight on our minds, and let us now be wise for
eternity.

How little are we engaged to promote the interest
of religion ! At this day, when the love of many
waxeth cold, and 'iniquity increaseth, how ought
every faculty of our souls to be alive to God.

Do write often, and perhaps, the blessing of an
all-wise God may attend your epistles. In your
earnest supplications at the throne of Almighty
grace, remember your affectionate, though unworthy
friend, HARRIET.

P. S. I long to see you, and unfold to you the
inmost recesses of my heart. Do make it conveni-
ent to visit H. this spring, and although it may be
unpleasing to you to hear the wickedness of your
friend Harriet's heart, yet perhaps you, my dear
Miss W. can say something which will now make
me resolve in earnest, that let others serve whom
they will, I will serve the Lord.

TO THE SAME.

Haverhitt, April 20, 1808.

THIS morning, my beloved Miss W. your kind

MEMOIRS OF

epistle was handed me, in which you express a wish,
that it might find me engaged in the cause of God.
Oh, that your wish could be gratified ! But let me
tell you, I am still the same careless, inattentive
creature. — What in this world can we find capable
of satisfying the desires of our immortal souls ?
Not one of the endowments, which are derived from
any thing short of God, will avail us in the solemn
and important hour of death. All the vanities, which
the world terms accomplishments, will then appear of
little value. Yes, my beloved companion, in that
moment we shall find that nothing will suffice to
hide the real nakedness of the natural mind, but
the furnished robe, in which the child of God
shines with purest lustre — the Saviour's righteous-
ness. Oh, that we might, by the assistance of God,
deck our souls with the all-perfect rule ! Our souls
are of infinite importance, and an eternity of misery,
* where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not
quenched,1 awaits us, if we do not attend to their
concerns. I should be happy, my amiable friend,
in visiting you this spring. But with reluctance I
must decline your generous offer. A dear and be-
loved parent is in a declining state of health ; and
we fear, if indulgent Heaven do not interpose, and
stop the course of his sickness, death will deprive us
of his society, and the grave open to receive him.
Oh, that his life might be spared, and his health
once more established, to cheer his family and
friends ! But in all these afflictive dispensations of
God's providence, may it ever be my prayer, * not
my will, O Lord ! but thine be done.'

I do not expect to attend Bradford Academy this

MRS NEWELL. . <&>

summer. We shall have a school in Haverhill.
which, with my parents' consent, I expect to attend.
Do visit me this spring, my dear Miss W. ; your
letters are always received with pleasure. My best
wishes for your present and eternal happiness at-
tend you. I am yours, &c.

HARRIET.

TO MISS C. P. OF NEWBURYPORT.
Dear C. Haverhitt, Feb. 16, 180S.

SINCE you left us, death has entered our family,
and deprived us of an affectionate uncle. After
lingering two days after you returned to your
friends, he fell asleep, as we trust, in Jesus.

Oh, C. could you but have witnessed his dying
struggles ! Distress and anguish were his constant
companions, till about ten minutes before his spirit
winged its way to the eternal world ; then he was
deprived of speech ; he looked upon us, closed his
eyes, and expired. He would often say, ' Oh, how
I long for the happy hour's approach, when I shall
find a sweet release ; but ' not my will, but thine,
O God, be done f ' When we stood weeping around
his dying bed, he looked upon us and said, ' Mourn
not for me, my friends, but mourn for yourselves.'
Oh my C. let us now be persuaded to lay hold on
Jesus, as the only Saviour. If we trust in him for
protection, he will preserve us in all the trying scenes
of life, and when the hour of dissolution shall come,
we shall be enabled to give ourselves to him, and
consign our bodies to the tomb with pleasure.

What a world is this ! full of anxiety and trouble !
c

26

MEMOIRS OF

My dear father is very feeble ; a bad cough attends
him, which we fear will prove fatal. What a bless-
ing, my friend, are parents ! Let us attend to their
instructions and reproofs, while we possess them,
that when death shall separate us, we may have no
cause for regret that we were undutiful. While we
do every thing we can to make them happy, let us
remember, that it is God alone can compensate them
for their labours of love. Far distant be the hour
when either of us shall be called to mourn the loss
of our dear parents.

Do, my dear C. write to me ; tell me if this world
does not appear more and more trifling to you. May
the sweet influences of the Holy Spirit be shed
abroad in your heart ! Oh, may happiness attend
you in this vale of tears, and may you be conducted
to the haven of eternal rest Accept the wish of
your ever affectionate HARRIET.

TO MISS C. P. OF NEWBURYPORT.

Haverhill, April 24, 1808.

ACCEPT, my dear C. my kindest acknowledgments
for your last affectionate epistle ; in the perusal of
which, I had the most pleasing sensations. You
observed, your contemplations had frequently dwelt
on those hours we spent in each others'1 society,
while at Bradford Academy ; and that you re-
gretted the mis-improvement of them. Alas ! how
many hours have we spent in trifling conversation,
which will avail us nothing. Let our imaginations
often wing their way back to those hours, which can
never be recalled.

•

MRS NEWELL. 27

4 ^Tis greatly wise, to talk with our past hours,
And ask them what report they've borne to heaven,
And how they might have borne more welcome news.*

Will the recollection of the moments that are now
speeding their flight, afford satisfaction at the last ?
Oh, that we might improve our time and talents to
the glory of God, that the review of them may be
pleasing.

You ask me to write to you, and to write some-
thing that will awaken you from stupidity. I would
my dear C. but I am still in the same careless state.

My father still remains in a critical situation.
Permit me to request an interest in your prayers
for him ; but be assured, there is none they will be
more serviceable to, than your dear friend,

HARRIET.

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVERLY.

After the death of her Father.

HaverhM, May 24, 1808.

IN the late trying and afflictive scenes of God's
providence, which I have been called to pass through,
I have flattered myself, that the tenderest sympathy
has been awakened in the heart of my beloved F.
Oh my companion ! this is a scene peculiarly trying
to me. How much do my circumstances require
every divine consolation and direction, to make this
death a salutary warning to me. The guardian of
my tender years, he who, under God, has been
made an instrument in giving me existence, my fa-
tiier, my nearest earthly friend, where is he ? The
eold clods of the valley cover him, and the worms

20 MEMOIRS OF

feed upon his cold and lifeless body. Can it be
that I am left fatherless? Heart rending reflection!
Oh my dear, dear Miss W. may you never be left
to mourn the loss which I now experience ! Oh,
that your parents may be spared to you, and you
ever honour them, and be a blessing to them, even
in their declining years.

Glance a thought on nine fatherless children, and
a widowed and afflicted mother. But if we are fa-
therless, Oh, may we never be friendless ! May He
who has promised to be the father of the fatherless,
and the widow's God, enable us to rely upon him,
and receive grace to help in this time of need ; and
although the present affliction is not joyous, but
grievous, Oh, that it may be instrumental in work-
ing out a far more exceeding and eternal weight of
glory.

Do come and see me — I long once more to em-
brace my friend, and to tell her what I owe her for
all her favours. Adieu, my beloved Miss W. ; re-
ceive this as a token of renewed affection from your

HARRIET.

Respects to your parents, and love to sister N.

FROM some passages in the foregoing papers, and
also from what follows, it appears, that during the
year 1 808, she was in a state of religious declension
and darkness. According to the statement of one
who was competent to testify — ' She appeared gra-
dually to lose her fondness for retirement, and her
delight in the Scriptures, and associated more freely
with her former gay companions. But nothing was

MRS NEWELL. 29

manifested, which afforded any just ground for sus-
pecting her sincerity.'1 What views she entertained
of that state of declension, and by what means she
was recovered to duty and comfort, will appear from
some of the following letters and from her diary.

•vxxxxxxxxx

TO MISS C. P. OF NEWBURYPORT.
My dear C. HavcrhM, Feb. 27, 1809.

WHAT have you been reading this winter ? I pre-
sume you have had sufficient time to improve your
mind in the study of history, &c. For my part, I
know not what to say. A constant round of worldly
engagements and occupations have, I fear, engrossed
far too much of my time.

I have of late been quite interested in reading
Miss Helen Maria Williams' Letters on the French
Revolution, and am now reading Rollings Ancient
History. In the morning of life, when no perplex-
ing cares interrupt or vex our minds, we should
spend every moment of our time in improving our
minds by reading, or attending to conversation that
is beneficial. Our time is short ! Perhaps we may
be cut off in the morning of our days. Oh that
we might improve each moment of our lives, ' And
make each day a critic on the last.1

Adieu, I am, &c. HARRIET.

•X X % X X XX-%. W

1809.

July 1. GOD has been pleased in his infinite
mercy again to call up my attention to eternal real-
ities. After spending more than a year in the

30 MEMOIRS OF

vanities of the world — thoughtless and unconcerned
respecting my eternal welfare, he has, as I humbly
trust, showed me my awful backslidings from him,
and my dependence upon his grace for every blessing.

I do now, in the strength of Jesus, resolve, that
I will no longer sacrifice my immortal soul, for
what I have hitherto deemed my temporal happiness.
Oh, that I might be enabled to come out from the
world, and to profess Christ as my Redeemer before
multitudes. I now see, that I have enjoyed no
happiness in my pursuit of worldly pleasure. Not
in the play-room, not in the vain and idle conversa-
tion of my companions, not in the bustle of crowded
life, have I found happiness. This heaven-born
guest is found only in the bosom of the child of
Jesus. How awfully aggravated will be my con-
demnation, if I do not, after this second call, awaken-
all my drowsy faculties and become earnestly en-
gaged for God.

July 10. How foolishly, how wickedly have I
spent this day ! What have I done for God ? No-
thing I fear. Oh how many mispent days shall I
have to answer for, at the tribunal of a holy Judge !
Then how does it become me, to set a watch upon
my behaviour ; as one that must shortly give an
account to God. Oh, thou blessed Jesus ! grant
thy assistance that I may live as I ought.

July 16, Sablatli morn. Solemnly impressed
with a sense of my duty to God, I entered his holy
courts this morning. What am I, that I should
be blessed with the gospel's joyful sound, while so
many are now perishing in heathen darkness for
lack of the knowledge of Christ.

MRS NEWELL. 31

Sabbath eve. I have now offered myself to the
Church of God, and have been assisted by him.
Perhaps they will not receive me; but, O God!
wilt tliou accept me through a Mediator ?

I have now let my companions see, I am not
ashamed of Jesus. Oh, that I might not dishonour
the cause I am about professing ! In Christ alone
will I put my trust, and rely entirely on his righteous-
ness for the pardon of my aggravated transgressions.

July 17. Have spent the day at home. I think
I have enjoyed something of God^s presence. Felt
a disposition frequently to call upon him by prayer
and supplication.

July 18. At this late hour, when no one behold-
eth me but God, how solemnly, how sincerely ought
I to be engaged for him !

The family are retired to rest. The darkness
and silence of the night, and the reflection, that the
night of death will soon overtake me, conspire to
solemnize my mind What have I done this day
for God ? Have I lived as a stranger and pilgrim
on the earth; as one that must soon leave this
world, and ' go the way from whence no traveller
returns ?'

Oh that I were more engaged for God — more
engaged to promote his cause, in the midst of a
perverse generation !

July 20. This evening, I had a most solemn
meeting with one of my dear and most intimate
companions. I warned her in the most expressive
language of my heart to repent. She appeared af-
fected. I left her; and after returning home, I
trust, I was enabled to commend her to the God

4% MEMOIRS OF

of infinite mercy, and to wrestle with him for her
conviction and conversion.

July 22. Was informed that appeared

serious and unusually affected. Oh, that God might
work a work of grace in his heart, and enable him
to resign all earthly vanities, for an interest in the
great Redeemer. He has talents, which if abused,
will only add to his everlasting condemnation. Oh,
thou God of infinite mercy ! — thou who hast had
pity on me, show him mercy, and awaken him to a
sense of his situation, before the things that concern
his peace are hid for ever from his eyes.

July 30, Sabbath day. Arose this morning, but
little impressed with a sense of the duties before me,
upon this holy day. My health obliged me to de-
cline going to the house of God in the morning.
But I think I could say, it was good for me to be
afflicted. God was graciously pleased to assist me
in calling upon his name, and permitted me to
wrestle with him in prayer for the prosperity of
Zion, and for the conversion of sinners. I felt a
desire that every one of my friends might be brought
to a knowledge of the truth. This afternoon I have
attended meeting, and heard a most excellent ser-
mon preached by Mr W. from Matt. xxvi. 6 — 13.
He passed the Sabbath with us, and gave us excel-
lent instructions. But of what use are advice and
religious conversation to me, if I do not improve
them as I ought ? These instructions will rise up
in judgment against me, and condemn me, if I am
not, indeed, a child of God. Oh, for a heart to
love God more, and live more to bis glory ! How
can I hope to enter that heavenly rest, prepared for

MRS NEWELL. 33

the people of Jesus, when I so often transgress his
laws !

Aug. 6. Lord's day morning". Upon this sacred
morning, Oh that the Holy Spirit of God would
enliven and animate my cold and stupid affections.
Oh, that I might this day enter his earthly courts,
worship him in an acceptable manner, profess his
name before a scoffing world, sit down at his table,
and partake in faith of the body and blood of Jesus.

Sabbath eve. And now I have entered into the
most solemn engagement to be the Lord^s. I have
confessed Christ before the world — I have renounced
my wicked companions — I have solemnly promised,
that denying ungodliness and every worldly lust,
I will live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this
present world. If I should, after taking these so-
lemn vows and covenant engagements upon me,
dishonour the cause of my Redeemer ; if I should
give the enemies of religion reason to say, there is
nothing in religion ; if I should again return to my
former courses, Oh how dreadfully aggravated will
be my condemnation ! What excuse could I render
at the tribunal of a just Judge ? My mouth would
be stopped, and I should plead guilty before him.
How then does it become me to watch and pray, lest
the devices of Satan, the world, or my own remain-
ing corruptions, should lead me into temptation 1

In thee, O God, do I put my trust L from thee
do I hope to obtain mercy in the day of retribution !

Aug. 10. How stupid, how cold I grow ! Where
is that fervour, that zeal, that animation, I ought
to have, after professing to know and receive Jesus,
as my Redeemer ? How alluring are the vanities of

MEMOIRS OF

time ! How prone my heart to wander from God f
How ready to engage in the trifles of this wicked
world ! Descend thou Holy Spirit : breathe into
my soul a flame of ardent love ; let not my affections
wander from the one and only thing that is needful.

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVERLY.

Ha-verhitty August, 1809 — Sabbath morn.

A FEW moments this sacred morning shall be de-
Voted to my beloved Miss W. After discontinuing
for so long a time our correspondence, I again
address you. By the endearing title of a friend, I
again attempt to lay open my heart before you.
But what shall I say ? Shall I tell you, that since
I last saw you, I have made great progress in divine
grace ? To you, my ever dear friend, will I unbosom
my heart ; to you will I describe my feelings. Yes,
I will tell you what GOD has done for my soul.
About six weeks since he was pleased, in infinite
mercy, again to call my attention to the concerns
of my soul ; again to show me the evil of my ways.
I have now publicly confessed my faith in him. I
have taken the vows of the covenant upon me, and
solemnly surrendered myself to him, eternally. Oh !
Miss W. should I now be left to dishonour this holy
cause, what would be my eternal condemnation?
Oh ! pray for me. Entreat God to have mercy
upon me, and keep me from falling. After I left
you at the Academy, I by degrees grew more and
more neglectful of serious and eternal realities.
When I review the past year of my life ; when I
reflect on the wound I have brought upon the blessed

MRS NEWELL. 35

religion of Jesus, I am constrained to cry, why has
God extended his mercy to the vilest of the race of
Adam ? Why has he again showed favour to me,
after I have so wickedly abused his precious invita-
tions and grieved his Holy Spirit ? It is a God,
who is rich in mercy, abundant in goodness, and of
great compassion, that has done these great things,
as I trust for me. How can I be too much engaged
for him, too much conformed to his holy will, after
these abundant manifestations of his love and mercy ?
Oh, that I could spend my few remaining days as I
ought, even entirely devoted to the delightful ser-
vice of the dear Redeemer.

Sabbath eve. I have just returned from the house
of God, where I have heard two excellent sermons
preached by our beloved pastor. What unspeak-
able privileges we enjoy ! The Gospel trump is
sounding in our ears ; Jesus is proclaimed as ' ready
and willing to save all those that conie unto God by
him.1 And why, my dear Miss W. are not these
privileges taken from us, and given to the Heathen,
who have never heard of a Saviour, and are perish-
ing for lack of knowledge? God is indulging us
with them for wise and holy ends. And if we do
not estimate them according to their real value,
and improve under the calls and invitations of the
Gospel, there will remain for us 4 no more sacrifice,
but a fearful looking-for of judgment and fiery in-
dignation.1 When sitting beneath the GospePs
joyful sound, I think I can never again be careless
or inattentive to religions concerns. But how soon
does the world intervene between God and my soul !
How soon do the trifling vanities of time engross

0V MEMOIRS OF

my affections. Oh, my dear friend ! did you know
the temptations with which I am surrounded, I am
confident you would pity me, and intercede for me
at the throne of grace. But I have this consolation
— Jesus was tempted while on earth ; he pities his
tempted saints, and will surely enable them to per-
severe unto the end.

* He knows what sore temptations mean,
For he has felt the same.'

I long, dear Miss W. to see you. I long to con-
verse with you on the great importance of being
really children of God. I long for your assistance
while wandering in this wilderness. I think, if I
know my heart, I can say, I do love God and his
children. If I do not love him, if I do not love his
image whenever I see it, I know not what I love.
Though Providence sees fit to separate us, yet let
us be active in our endeavours to assist each other
in our journey to the heavenly Canaan, by our
letters and our prayers

I have now opened to you my heart. Do write
to me ; do instruct me in the important doctrines of
the Gospel. May your journey in this vale of tears
be sweetened by the presence of the blessed Jesus !
May you go from strength to strength, and when
you are released from this burden of clay, appear in
the heavenly Jerusalem before God, and spend an
eternity at his right hand, where is fulness of joy !
Adieu.

I am yours, &c. HARRIET ATWOOD.

1809.
Aug. 13. AGAIN have I enjoyed Sabbath and

MRS NEWELL.

sanctuary privileges. But my heart — alas ! how
can I live in such dreadful stupidity ! Awaken, O
God, my drowsy powers ! animate and warm these
cold and languid affections ! Why are not my pri-
vileges taken from me and given to the Heathen ?

Aug. 18. I have been this day in the company of
some of my young and gay companions. Oh ! why
did I neglect, faithfully, to warn them of their dan-
ger and entreat them to repent? How foolish*
how trifling is the conversation of the children of
this world ! Give me but my Bible, and my retire-
ment; and I would willingly surrender every thing
else on earth.

Aug. 26. How fleeting are the days appointed to
mortals ! Another week has glided away. It be-
comes me to ask myself, have I lived to the glory
of God ? What have I done in the service of Him,
who has done so much for me, even laid down his
precious life, to redeem my soul ? What answer does
conscience make ? Oh that I could be enabled to
come to that fountain which is open for Judah and
Jerusalem to wash in, and cleanse my soul from all
pollution ! The time, which ought to have been spent
in the service of a holy God, has been trifled away
in the vanities of a wicked world.

Aug. 27. Have again been indulged with Sabbath
and sanctuary privileges. The gospel trump has
again sounded in my ears. Christians have been
called to be more engaged in the cause of Jesus ;
and sinners have been affectionately urged to attend
to the concerns of their never-dying souls.

Mr D. addressed us from these words : ' Wicked-
ness proceedeth from the wicked.' Afternoon—

00 MEMOIRS OF

4 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good
unto all men.1 He explained the various duties in-
cumbent on Christians, whereby they might do good
unto their fellow-mortals. Let me examine my own
heart. Have I done good, according to the ability
with which God has blessed me, to the souls of my
friends and acquaintance ? How much reason have

1 to complain of my unfruitfulness ; of my little en-
gagedness in prayer ! Awaken in me, O thou that
nearest prayer ! a disposition to cry, in earnest, for
the salvation of souls. Oh, that I might realize the
greatness of the privilege, with which the blessed
Jehovah has indulged me, in giving me a throne of
grace through the mediation of Jesus.

Aug. 28. I awoke last night, and spent a most
delightful hour in contemplating divine truth. The
words of David flowed sweetly through my mind,
6 In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy
comforts delight my soul.' Most willingly would I
resign all earthly pleasures for one such hour in com-
munion with my God.

Sept. 29. Mr T. preached our preparatory lec-
ture this afternoon. Text, " Jesus answered and
said, My kingdom is not of this world. ' Examined
myself strictly by this question ; Am I indeed a
real member of Christ's kingdom ? If I am, why are
my affections so languid — my heart so cold — my
desires so few for the enlargement of Christ's king-
dom ? Why is my heart so prone to leave God ?
Why am I so interested in the concerns of time and
sense — and why are the important concerns of my
soul so little regarded ? Decide, dearest Jesus, the
doubtful case ! If I never yet have tasted and seen

MRS NEWELL. 39

that thou art gracious, Oh, let me now, before it be
for ever too late !

Attended our conference this evening. I think
I enjoyed what the world could neither give, nor
take away.

Sept. #0. How inestimable the blessing of a sin-
cere, a pious friend ! Drank tea with Mrs M. In
the most friendly manner she spoke of my former
conduct, and tenderly reproved me for an incident
which occurred the past day. I acknowledged my
fault, confessed my obligations to her for her advice,
and sensibly felt the importance of watchfulness and
prayer, that I might be kept from entering into
temptation. May the review of my former life,
serve to humble me in the dust before God, and
make me more active than ever in his blessed service !

Oct. 1. The vanities of time have engaged too
great a share of my affections The concerns of
my soul have been too much neglected. Oh, for
the invigorating influences of the Holy Spirit,- to
animate my drowsy faculties ! Time is short — this
month, perhaps, may be my last. Have again been
permitted to sit down at the table of the Lord.
Oh, how unworthy am I of these precious privileges !
Why am I suffered to enjoy them ?

Have this day heard a most solemn discourse
preached by Mr D. from these words, ' Unto you,
Oh men, I call, and my voice is unto the sons of
men.' He mentioned the dying exercises of a Mr
B. whose remains were committed to the tomb the
Saturday preceding. His resignation to the Divine
will was remarkable. In his dying moments, he
.warned his young companions of their danger, while

40 MEMOIRS OP

cut of Christ. May this solemn stroke of Provi-
dence be sanctified to the young people in this
place ! Oh, that God, in infinite mercy, would be
pleased to bring it near my heart, and make it the
means of weaning me from this world, and prepar-
ing me for the enjoyment of his celestial kingdom !

Oct. 7. Another week has rolled away, and my
probationary existence is still lengthened out. But
to what purpose do I live ? Why am I supported
in this world of hope, when I am daily transgressing
the laws of a holy God and grieving his blessed
Spirit ? Astonishing grace ! wonderful compassion !
that still prolongs my days, after such rebellion !
Spare me, Oh my God, spare me yet a little
longer, and by thy grace enable me to do some little
work in thy vineyard.

Oct. 12. Attended another of our conferences.
But how stupid have I felt this evening ! It is per-
fectly just that I sjiould not have enjoyed the light
of God's countenance ; for I had no heart to ask
him, to make the evening profitable to my own soul,
or to the souls of others.

Prayer is the breath of the Christian ; when that
is omitted, farewell enjoyment.

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVEKLYr

Haverhill, Oct. 12, 1809.

THE pleasing sensations, dear Miss W. which
your letter excited, can better be conceived than de-
scribed. Your affectionate advice I sincerely thank
you for. And Oh ! that I might be enabled to
follow it. But what shall I write you ? Shall I tell

MRS NEWELL. 41

you I grow in grace and in conformity to God?
Alas ! I still have reason to lament my awful stu-
pidity, my distance from God, and in the language
of the publican, to cry, c God be merciful to me a
sinner.1 ' Laden with guilt, a heavy load;' op-
pressed with the temptations of a subtle adversary,
the world ever ready to call my affections, how can
I be supported ? But here, my friend, I find there
is a way provided, whereby God can be just and yet
justify even me. In the redemption a Saviour has
purchased there is an infinite fulness, sufficient to
supply all our wants. On the precious mount of
Calvary hangs all my hope. In his atoning blood,
who suffered and died, my sins can be washed away ;
and however vile and loathsome in myself, in him I
can find cleansing. What wonderful compassion is
displayed in the plan of Salvation ! That the Maker
and Preserver of the universe, having all things
under his controul, should not spare even his own
Son, but deliver him up to die on the accursed tree,
for mortals who had transgressed his law, and de-
served eternal misery ! This mystery of mysteries
the angels desire to look into. That the just should
endure the agonies of a painful and ignominious
death for the unjust, is what we cannot comprehend.
But my friend, what must be our situation to all
eternity, if, after such wonderful compassion, we
should fall short of an interest in the death of Jesus ?
How awful must be the sentence that will be passed
upon us who sit under the Gospel's joyful sound, if
we slight the offers of salvation ? Oh, may this ne-
ver be our situation ! But by unfeigned repentance
find cordial submission to the blessed Redeemer

42 MEMOIRS OF

and by lives spent in his service, Oh, may we be
prepared to join the society of the redeemed above !
Yesterday afternoon I attended a Lecture in the
Academy at Bradford. The emotions which vi-
brated in my mind, while sitting in this seminary of
learning, I cannot describe. Imagination recalled
those scenes which I had witnessed in that place.
That season was a precious one to many souls, when
the Spirit of God moved among us, and compelled
sinners to tremble and earnestly inquire what they
should do to inherit eternal life. But those days
are past. No more do I hear my companions ex-
claiming, ' Who can dwell with devouring fire !
Who can inherit everlasting burnings ?' No more
do I hear souls, who for years have been under the
bondage of sin, exclaim, c Come and I will tell you
what God hath done for me.1 He has, I hope,
; delivered me from the horrible pit and miry clay ;
has established my goings, and put a new song into
my mouth, even praise to his name.1 But under
these general declensions from the truth of the Gos-
pel, still, ' the Lord doeth all things well.' He will
revive his work in his own time. He will repair
the waste places of Zion, and sinners will again flock
unto him as clouds, and as doves to their windows.
And blessed be his name, he makes his children the
honoured instruments in building up his kingdom.
Let us then, my dear Miss W. exert all our facul-
ties to promote his cause. Let us warn sinners of
their danger, and walk worthy of the vocation where-
with we are called. Wishing you the light of God's
countenance, I did you adieu.

HARRIET.

MRS NEWELL. 43

1809.

Oct. 19. Drank tea with mamma, at Mrs C.'s.
A conference there in the evening. Mr D. para-
phrased the Lord's prayer ; and was enabled to
wrestle fervently with his divine Master, for the
revival of religion in this place. As for myself, I
felt stupid, — could easily trace the cause of my
feelings : Had no opportunity, this day, of pouring
out my soul to God in prayer. My mother insisted
on my accompanying her to Mrs C.'s ; I did, though
with as great reluctance as I ever obeyed a command
of her*s.

I know by experience, that no opportunities for
improvement do me any good, unless the divine
blessing is previously requested.

* Restraining prayer, we cease to fight,
Prayer makes the Christian's armour bright ;
And Satan trembles, when he sees
The weakest saint upon his knees.'

Oct. 21. This day, God, in infinite mercy, has
seen fit to grant me near access to his mercy-seat.
I have been enabled to call upon his name, and to
plead with him, for his spiritual Jerusalem. Oh,
that he would hear and accept my feeble petitions,
and answer them for his own name's sake !

Oct. 23. Have just returned from our reading
society ; and feel condemned for my gaiety and
light conduct, before my companions. Have found
nothing this evening to satisfy the desires of my
soul. Greatly fear, that I have brought a wound
upon the cause of the blessed Immanuel. Oh that
I might be enabled to glorify God, by my future
devotedness to him.

44 MEMOIRS OF

Oct. 27. Two servants of Jesus Christ called
upon us this afternoon, Mr W. and Mr E. Their
conversation was very interesting and instructive.
Mr W. informed us of a serious intention that ap-
peared to be commencing in A. Oh, that Jehovah
would pour down his Spirit there ! Oh, that he would
ride from conquering to conquer, and make, not
only A. a place of his power, but Haverhill also !
Arise, blessed Jesus ! plead thine own cause, and
have mercy upon Zion. Now when men are mak-
ing void thy law, arise ! build up thy spiritual Jeru-
salem, and let her no longer mourn, " because so
few come to her solemn feasts.1

Oct. SO. Have just returned from our reading
society. Have nothing to complain of this evening
but my gaiety and lightness. Ramsay's History of
Washington was introduced. The meeting very
regular and orderly. Sincerely wish it might be
the means of improving our minds in the know-
ledge of our own and other countries. And Oh,
that from a knowledge of the world which God has
made, our minds might be led to the Creator !

Oct. 31. Have spent this day prayerless and stu-
pid. Oh, that 1 were ' as in months past,' when
I felt a spirit of prayer, for the interest of Zion ; for,
the salvation of immortal souls !

Nov. 6. Our reading society met this evening;
Have just returned home, — find little or no satis-
faction in the review.

Although the company were light and gay, I pitied
them, and in my heart commended them to God.
But I fear I countenanced them, and gave them
reason to say of me, ' what do you more than others ??

MRS NEWF.LL. 45

Possessed naturally of such a rude and ungovern-
able disposition, I sometimes find it difficult to keep
within proper bounds. Often does my heart condemn
me for my trifling conduct ; conscience reproaches ;
and frequently, I am led to the conclusion, that I
will no more leave the residence of my mother;
have no more to do with the world, but seclude
myself, and spend my few remaining days, entirety
devoted to the best of beings. But this will not be
following the example of the blessed Jesus. No,
while I am in the world, let it be my constant en-
deavour, to do all the good I can to my fellow mor-
tals ; to rise above its frowns and flatteries ; and
give no occasion for any reproach to be brought
upon the cause of religion.

Nov. 8. My dear friend, and as I humbly trust
my spiritual father, Mr B. called upon us, a few
moments. He expects to preach for Mr D. next
Sabbath. On seeing him, I could not but recal the
many different scenes that passed while under his
instructions. But those scenes remain in remem-
brance only. No more I hear my companions ex-
claiming, « What shall I do to inherit eternal life.'
No more, I hear them telling to all around them,
what the Redeemer has done for their souls. That
was indeed a precious season to many, and will be
remembered with joy to all eternity. But to some,
the privileges of that season will, I fear, be the
means of sinking them lower in eternal torments !
Dreadful thought !

Nov. 12. This has indeed been a blessed day to
my soul, though I have been afflicted with a severe
pain in my head. Attended public worship : heard

46 MEMOIRS OF

two solemn sermons from our dear friend Mr B.
What a striking instance is it, of the awful hardness
of the heart, that when the terrors of the Almighty
are set before mortals, and they are told by God's
faithful servants, their awful situation, while unre-
conciled to the divine character, it has so little effect
upon them.

Nov. 13. A severe headache still attends me;
but I desire to be submissive to the will of God, and
bear without murmuring whatever he sees fit to lay
upon me. His ways are best; and he has graciously
promised, ' that all things shall work together for
good to those that love him.' But do I love him ?
Have I that love to him, that will enable me to
keep all his commandments ? Do I love him with
all my heart, having no rival in my affections?
* Search me, O God, and know me ;' try me by thy
Spirit, and lead me in the way of eternal life.

Nov. 16. Have just returned from singing school.
Surrounded by my gay companions, I have found
that I could place no dependance on my own
strength ; without the assistance of Jesus, I shall
fall into temptation, and wound his cause.

TO MISS C. F. OF BOSTON.

HuverMH. Not dated.

PARDON, dearest C. the long silence of your friend
Harriet. Although I have omitted answering your
affectionate epistle, my heart has been often with
you. Yes, C. often have I fancied seeing you en-
gaged to promote the cause of the blessed Immanuel,
solemnly renouncing the vanities of an alluring

MRS NEWELL. 4?

world, and taking the decided part of a child of God.
Oh, may you be enabled to follow on to know the
Lord, and constantly live as a disciple of the meek
and lowly Jesus ! I sincerely and ardently wish you
the aid of the Holy Spirit, and a heart habitually
conformed to the holy character of God. Great
and precious are the promises, an infinitely merciful
Jehovah has made in his word, to those who perse-
vere in well-doing. But how great the guilt, and
how aggravated must be the condemnation of those,
who are represented as being often reproved, and
yet harden their hearts against God !

While we hear the denunciations of God's wrath
to the finally impenitent, let us, my friend, be active
to secure an interest in his favour. Then, let what
will befal us in this life, our souls will rest safe on
the rock of ages ; Jesus will be our guide and friend
through earth's tedious pilgrimage ; he will be our
support through the valley of the shadow of death ;
and when released from this clayey tenement, will
admit us to the new and heavenly Jerusalem.

Upon reviewing the scenes of the past, I find but
little or no satisfaction. A hard, impenitent heart,
an engagedness in the concerns ef time and sense,
and an awful stupidity respecting eternity, I have
this day felt. Oh, C. I am astonished when I view
the feelings of my heart ! But still more am I as-
tonished, when I reflect upon the forbearance of
God, who still supports me in existence, still in-
dulges me with the day and means of grace.

Thursday morning. Yesterday I attended a fast
at the West parish. Heard one most excellent
sermon, and a number of interesting addresses.

48 MEMOIRS or

The exercises were very solemn and instructive. 1
long to have you with us. Since I last saw you,
we have been highly favoured by God. Oh, that
he would hasten that happy period, when the whole
earth shall be brought to a knowledge of the truth
as it is in Jesus. Let us frequently and earnestly
intercede at the throne of grace, for the commence-
ment of the Millennium.

Wishing you the^ light of God's countenance, and
a heart to labour aright in his vineyard, I bid you,
my friend, an affectionate farewell. Yours, &c.

HARRIET.

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVERLY.

HaverMtt, Sallath eve, Nov. 26, 1809.

I HAVE this moment received, dear Miss W. your
inestimable letter ; in which you affectionately con-
gratulate me on the happiness of ' tasting that the
Lord is gracious.'

Assailed by temptations, surrounded by the gay
and thoughtless, and with but few of the humble
followers of the Lamb to guide me in the path of
duty, or to instruct me in the great things of the
kingdom, what feelings do I experience, when re-
ceiving from my beloved friend, a letter, filled not
only with assurances of continued affection, but with
encomiums upon the character of the dear Imma-
nuel, as being ' the chief among ten thousands,
and altogether lovely.' Often does my heart glow
with gratitude to the Parent of mercies, for bestow-
ing on me such a favour, as one friend to whom I
can disclose the secret recesses of my heart, and

MRS NEWELL, 49

with whom I can converse upon the important doc-
trines of the gospel, and an eternal state of felicity
prepared for those, whose 6 robes have been washed
and made white in the blood of the Lamb.'

Have not you, my friend, often felt, when con-
versing upon these great truths, a flame of divine
love kindle in your heart; and have you not so-
lemnly resolved, that you would live nearer to the
blessed Jehovah ?

I have this day been permitted to worship God in
his earthly courts. How unspeakably great are the
privileges with which we are indulged, in this land
of gospel light ! The Sabbath before last, Mr B.
exchanged with Mr D. Oh, my beloved Miss W.
could you have heard the . important truths he
preached, the impressive manner in which he held
forth the terrors of God to the impenitent, and the
necessity of immediate repentance, surely it must to
you have been a blessed season. But it had no vi-
sible effect upon the minds of the people here. A
dreadful inattention to religion still prevails. The
youth are very thoughtless and gay ; ' iniquity
abounds, and the love of many waxes cold.' But
there are, as I humbly trust, a pious few, who are
daily making intercession at the throne of grace, for
the prosperity of Zion.

What encouragement have we, my dear friend, to
wrestle at the throne of mercy, for renewing and
sanctifying grace, for ourselves and the whole Israel
of God. Even in times of the greatest declension,
Jehovah hath promised that he will hear the pray-
ers of his children ; and that if offered up in since-
E

50 MEMOIRS OP

rity of heart, he will, in his own time, send gracious
answers.

Next Friday evening, it being the evening after
Thanksgiving, a ball is appointed in this place. I
think it probable that E. whom you once saw anxi-
ously inquiring what she should do to inherit eter-
nal life, will attend. Oh, my beloved friend, you
cannot know my feelings. It is dreadful to see
mortals bound to eternity, spending their lives with
no apparent concern about their never-dying souls.
But it is, if possible, more dreadful to see those,
who have 4 put their hands to the plough, look
back ; or being often reproved, harden their hearts
against God.'

How unsearchable are the ways of Jehovah !
When I look around me, and see so many of my
friends and companions, who are by nature endowed
with much greater talents than I am, and who would,
if partakers of the grace of God, be made the in-
struments of doing so much more good in the world,
left in a state of sin, I am constrained to say,

« Why was / made to hear thy voice,

And enter while there's room ?
When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come.'

I could, my dear Miss W. write you all night ;
but a violent head-ache has attended me this day,
and wearied nature requires repose.

I sincerely thank you, for the affectionate invita-
tion you have given me to visit you. I wish it
were possible for me to comply with your request ;
perhaps I may this winter ; but I shall not place
much dependance upon it, as every thing is so un-

NEWELL. 51

certain. Do, my friend, visit Haverhill.— -I long to
see you : but if Providence has determined we shall
never meet again in this world, Oh, may we meet in
our heavenly Father's kingdom, and never more en-
dure a separation, in haste. I am yours, SEC.

HARRIET.

1809.

Dec. 1. This evening a ball is appointed at .

My clear will probably attend. I have re-
solved to devote some part of the evening in pray-
ing particularly for them. Oh that God would stop
them in the midst of their sinful career, and let
them no longer spend their precious moments in fol-
lowing the pleasures of this vain world !

Dec. 31. I have now come to the close of ano-
ther year. How various have been the scenes which
I have been called to pass through this year ! But
what have I done for God ? what for the interest
of religion ? and what for my own soul ? I have
passed through one of the most solemn scenes of my
life — I have taken the sacramental covenant upon
me — I have solemnly joined myself to the church of
the blessed Jesus.

Oh ! that I might now, as in the presence of the
great Jehovah, and his holy angels, with penitential
sorrow, confess my past ingratitude, and in humble
reliance on the strength of Jesus, resolve to devote
the ensuing year, and the remaining part of my
days, to his service. ,

1810.
Feb. 10. What great reason have I for thankful-

02 MEMOIRS OF

ness to God, that I am still in the land of the living*,
and have another opportunity of recording with my
pen, his tender mercy and loving kindness ! I have
been, for almost five weeks, unable to write ; and
for a week confined to my bed. But JESUS has un-
dertaken to be my Physician ; he has graciously re-
stored me to health ; and when greatly distressed
with pain, he has afforded me the sweet consolations
of the Spirit, and brought me willingly to resign my
soul into his arms, and wait the event of his Provi-
dence, whether life or death.

Oh, that this sickness might be for my eternal
good ! may it be made the means of weaning me
from all terrestrial enjoyments, and of fixing my hope
and trust in the merits of Jesus ! Then should I
have cause to bless God for his chastening rod, and
through eternity, count all these afflictive dispensa-
tions as great mercies.

Feb. 18. How easily can God disconcert the plans
formed by short-sighted mortals ! I had fondly flat-
tered myself, that before this, I should have met
with the assembly of the saints, and have sitten
under the droppings of the sanctuary ; — that I
should have joined my Christian friends in their
social conference, and heard the truths of the gospel
explained by our dear Pastor. But Jehovah deter-
mined otherwise-. He has again laid his chastening
rod upon me, by afflicting me with sickness and
pain. But, * I will bear the indignation of the
Lord, because I have sinned against him,1 I have
a renewed opportunity of examining my submission
to God ; and do now, as in his presence, renewedly
resolve to devote myself a living sacrifice to him.

MRS NEWELL. 53

I think I can say, that afflictions are good for me.
In times of the greatest distress, I have been brought
to cry within myself, ' It is the Lord, let him do
what seemeth him good.' I think I am witting to
bear whatever God sees fit to lay upon me. Let
my dear heavenly Father inflict the keenest anguish,
I will submit ; for he is infinitely excellent, and can
do nothing wrong.

Feb. 25. With the light of this holy morning,
I desire to offer to the kind Shepherd of Israel, who
never slumbers nor sleeps, a morning tribute of
thanksgiving and praise Oh that my whole soul
might be drawn out in love to God ; and may all
my faculties unite with the inhabitants of the New
Jerusalem, in praising the immortal King, for what
he has done, and still ?.v doing for rebellious man !
But I fall infinitely short of the honour due to his
glorious name. When shall I arrive at the destined
port of rest, and with the blood-washed millions,
praise the Lamb of God for redeeming love ? Hasten,
blessed Immanuel, that glorious period, when all
thy exile children shall arrive at their eternal home !
Oh, for a tongue to sound aloud the honours of the
dear Jesus !

March 2. Have, this afternoon, been solemnly
admonished, by seeing the remains of Mr E. carried
by the house. And can it be that I, who am now
so actively engaged in the affairs of this world, shall
shortly be conveyed, on a bier, to the cold grave ?
Yes, the righteous judge has declared to the race of
Adam, ' Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou
return.'* Soon this sentence will be executed upon
me. Prepare, O my soul, to meet thy God !

o MEMOIRS OF

March 6. What unspeakable consolation does ifc
afford the children of God, to reflect that the great
Jehovah is carrying on his work of grace; that
earth and hell combined, cannot hinder what he has
designed to accomplish {

March 10. How awfully depraved is the natural
heart ! Every day I can see more and more of my
own apostacy from God. Break, compassionate
Immanuel, Oh ! break this stony heart of mine, and
compel me to live as an obedient child !

March 13. How engaged am I in the concerns
of this world ! I cannot but ask myself the question^
have I any reason to imagine that I am interested
in the covenant of life ? If so, why am I thus ?
Why this awful distance from God? 'Search me*
O God ! and know my heart ; try me, and know my
thoughts, and see if there be any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.'

March 2£. Have again been permitted to attend
a religious conference. Mr T. preached from these
words, « Do thyself no harm.' How astonishing
that I can be so negligent in duty, when there are
so many immortal souls around me, that are doing
themselves eternal harm ! Why do I not feel their
awful condition, and solemnly warn them, both by
precept and example, cto flee from the wrath to come?'

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVERLY.

Haverhill, March 31, 1810.

FAVOURED by Divine Providence with an oppor-
tunity of expressing my gratitude to my beloved
Miss W. for all the testimonies of friendship which

MRS :NEWELL. o9

she has shewn me, I cordially embrace it. Your
last friendly letter was this day received. To -assure
you how much happiness your letters confer on me,
would be but what I have already told you. The
one I received when on a bed of sickness, was a real
treasure. My feeble health alone, prevented my
answering it before. I have lately been led to dwell
much on the doctrine of the Divine decrees. I
should like to have your ideas on the subject. AU
though God is under no obligations to save ofi\e of
the apostate race of Adam, and it would not dero-
gate from his justice, were he to send all to eternal
torments ; yet, to display the riches of his grace, he
determines to save a few. Why should we say,
what doest thou ? The children of God are, or
ought to be, lights in the world. But I fear that I
shall be a stumbling-block to others. I have often
thought myself one of those who are ' tossed to and
fro, and carried about by every wind of doctrine.'
When I hear arguments on one side, I think I am
convinced ; when on the other, I think the same.
But I leave this subject for the present.

Let me tell you, that I fondly indulge the hope of
seeing you before long. Mr H. and myself have
thought considerably of a ride to Beverly. Should
not our wishes be frustrated, I shall probably see you
in four or iive weeks ; if not then, I shall relinquish
the idea, as I shall commence attending school in
May. When I see you, I will relate to you my ex^-
ercises in my past illness.

Have we not abundant reason to rejoice in the
government of God? He is carrying on his work,
converting sinners, and making the wrath of man

36 MEMOIRS OF

to praise him. Oh, that Haverhill and Beverly
might experience the influence of the Holy Spirit !
God can work here as easily as in Salem and Man-
chester. Let us be ardent and constant at the
throne of mercy, that the blessed Immanuel would
revive his work, and pour out his Spirit on the
churches and people with which we are connected.
Oh ! why, my friend, are we so cold and stupid ?
I earnestly request an interest in your prayers.
Yours sincerely, HARRIET.

1810.

April 6. This evening had some interesting con-
versation with a friend, upon the past scenes of my
life. Oh, how is my life filled up with folly and sin !
Surely, if I am ever pardoned and accepted by the
blessed Redeemer, . I must ascribe it wholly to the
mercy of God.

April 29. A sudden death this week. Mrs C.
was in health and prosperity one hour, and the next
— in the cold embraces of the universal conqueror !
May this solemn event be sanctified to surviving
friends ! And may it lead me to place my affections
on the things of eternity !

May 4. Just returned from the house of God.
Had a most interesting sermon preached by Mr A.
Text, — fc Ye are the salt of the earth ; but if the salt
have lost its savour, wherewith shall it be salted."1

Mr E. called upon us a few moments, and in-
formed us, there was a great revival of religion in
his society and town. Oh, how did it rejoice my
heart ! However cold and stupid, I can in sincerity

MRS NEWELL. 57

say, that I love to hear of the conversion of sinners.
Must Haverhill be left destitute of the work of the
Spirit ? Oh, let me be ardent and constant at the
throne of grace, for the out-pouring of the Spirit,
and a revival of religion amongst us.

May 11. Called upon a friend this morning,
"who, to human appearance, is on the brink of the
grave. She was speechless, though not senseless.
Her very countenance declared the importance of
religion. Never shall I forget the affectionate man-
ner in which she pressed my hand to her bosom, and
lifted her eyes to heaven, as if calling down a Tbless-
ing upon me. Oh, that I could rightly improve
this affecting dispensation of Providence ?

May 24. I have been where heaven and hell, the
soul and eternity, appear important subjects ! The
people in B. are awake. Attended two evening lec-
tures— the meeting-house thronged with solemn and
attentive hearers.

May 29. Attended singing school this evening.
Though meetings for this purpose be ever so plea-
sant, yet so great have been my temptations the
winter past, that I could not feel sorry that the
meetings were concluded. Hope I have not brought
dishonour upon the cause of Jesus, by my careless
behaviour before my companions.

May 30. Election day. This day recals many
painful events, which occurred last year at this time.
How was I then labouring for € the meat that perish-
eth/ — following the leadings of a trifling heart ! It
was infinite mercy, that snatched me from the abyss,
and, as I humbly trust, made me a monument of re-
deeming love * Praise the Lord, Oh my soul T

58 MEMOIRS OF

June 2. Have had some interesting conversation
with Miss W. upon the situation of my dear E.
Who knows, thought I, but what she might now
have been earnestly engaged in the cause of the
Redeemer, if it were not for my unchristian conduct.
How can I think of being an enemy to the souls of
my dear friends ?

June 3. Solemn indeed have been the transactions
of this day. Oh, that they might be remembered
with joy through eternity ? Had some humbling
views of my past ingratitude. The aggravated
transgressions of my life, the last six months* in
particular, have been laid open before me. Have
again solemnly resolved to live to God. If I
should again become stupid ; but no, — I cannot —
I will surrender myself to Jesus. He will keep me
from falling, and present me faultless before his
Father's throne.

June 4. Have been solemnly impressed with the
worth of immortal souls this day. The welfare of
my school companions, lies near my heart. In
what way can I be serviceable to them ? They have
souls as valuable as mine. Oh, then, let me use my
best endeavours to bring them to the knowledge of
the truth, and save them from the awful punish-
ment, which awaits the finally impenitent.

June 8. Afflicted with a severe pain in my head.
A celebrated author observes, that every pain we
feel, is a warning to us to be prepared for death.
Oh, that it may have this effect upon me !

June 20. How unsatisfying and unstable are all
the enjoyments of time. I am daily more convinced
that nothing short of the unchangeable Jehovah,

MRS NEWELL. 59

can afford real happiness. To-day we may imagine
ourselves possessed of a friend, who will not forsake
us ; to-morrow that same person may prove a de-
ceiver. May I learn wisdom from the news I have
this evening heard ! Oh, that such things might
have a happy tendency to wean me from this world,
and prepare me for another !

June SO. Called on my dear friend E. She has
lately experienced affliction. She told me that she
was resigned to divine Providence, and could
rejoice, even in the hour of distress. Happy
composure ! What joys, Oh ye deluded followers of
unrighteousness, have you to boast, compared with
that experienced by a humble follower of Jesus ?

July 1. Hail sacred morning ! — once ushered in
with the most interesting events, ever registered in
the records of time. On this holy morning, the
Saviour rose from the grave. Expect this day to
commemorate the sufferings of the Lamb of God.
Grant me, gracious God, sweet communion with
thee. Let me not eat and drink judgment to myself.

July 7. How have I spent this day ? What a
dreadful sink of wickedness is my heart ! Must I
resign the idea of ever feeling the power o/^ religion ?
Surely, if I am a child of God, I could not live so
stupid.

July 19. Favoured with the privilege of attend-
ing a lecture this afternoon. Our dear minister
preached from these words, ' How long halt ye
between two opinions ?** a most solemn discourse.
In the evening, a meeting at Mr D.'s for religious
conversation. A small number of young people
appear unusually solemn. Has not God already

60 MEMOIRS OF

begun to shew the riches of his grace ? Will he
not arise, and have mercy on Haverhill, and make
it a place where he will delight to dwell ?

August 6. How soon are my resolutions to live
wholly to God, broken ! My conscience daily re-
proaches me, for my unfaithfulness to my compa-
nions, to myself, and to my God. If any one should
have told me, when light first shone on my mind,
that I should feel such indifference to the salvation
of sinners, and so little love to God, as I now feel,
I should have exclaimed, impossible !

Oct. 10. This day entered upon my eighteenth
year. Seventeen years have rolled, almost insensi-
bly, away. I still remain a pilgrim in this barren
land. Merciful Jesus on the commencement of this
year, may thy supporting hand be underneath me,
and if my life is prolonged, may it be more faithfully
devoted to thee, and to thy blessed cause.

Oct. 20. A female friend called upon us this
morning. She informed me of her determination
to quit her native land, to endure the sufferings of
a Christian amongst heathen nations— to spend her
days in India's sultry clime. How did this news
affect my heart ! Is she willing to do all this for
God ; and shall I refuse to lend my little aid, in a
land where divine revelation has shed its clearest
rays? I have felt more for the salvation of the
Heathen this day, than I recollect to have felt
through my whole past life.

How dreadful their situation ! What heart but
would bleed at the idea of the sufferings they endure,
to obtain the joys of Paradise ? What can / do, that
the light of the gospel may shine upon them ? They

MRS NEWELL. 61

are perishing for lack of knowledge, when I enjoy
the glorious privileges of a Christian land. Great
God direct me ! Oh, make me in some way benefi-
cial to their immortal souls !

Oct. 21. Had a joyful meeting this day, in the
house of God. fc When I am weak, then am I
strong.' Have experienced the truth of this decla-
ration this day. Went to meeting in the morning
afflicted with bodily pain, yet joyful in the God of
my salvation. Reflecting on the melancholy state
of our church, was distressed, lest the deserved
judgments of the Almighty should be poured upon
us. But .the words of the dear Redeemer, ' Fear
not little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure
to give you the kingdom,' sweetly refreshed and
animated my desponding spirit. I desire ever to
bless the Lord, for the manifestations of his love
this day. He has taught me, that neither Paul nor
Apollos is any thing without his grace. Ministers
may faithfully preach, but the word will not prove
successful, if God does not touch the heart.

I have seen the glory of God in his sanctuary.
c I had rather be a door-keeper in the house of my
God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.'
The Lord is good ; may it be my delightful em-
ployment on earth to praise him ; and in heaven
may 1 join the enraptured millions, in a song that
shall never end.

Oct. 23. Mr M. introduced Mr N.* to our fa-
mily. He appears to be an engaged Christian. Ex-
pects to spend his life, in preaching a Saviour to
the benighted Pagans.

* Mr Newell, it is presumed.
F

S MEMOIRS OP

Oct. 81. Mr N. called on us this morning. He
gave me some account of the dealings of God with
his soul. If such a man who has devoted himself
to the service of the gospel, has determined to labour
in the most difficult part of the vineyard, and is
willing to renounce his earthly happiness for the
interest of religion ! if lie doubts his possessing love
to God, — what shall I say of myself?

Nov. 4. Have once more commemorated the
dying love of Jesus. Have entertained some faint
views of the character of God; and mourned for
the evil of sin. How condescending is God, to
permit hell-deserving rebels to commune with him
at his table ! What on earth can equal the love of
Jehovah ? He treats those who are by nature his
enemies, like children.

Nov. 6. Sleep has fled from me, and my soul is
enveloped in a dark cloud of troubles ! Oh, that
God would direct me ! Oh, that he would plainly
mark out the path of duty, and let me not depart
from it !

Nov. 10. Have this day commenced reading
Law's Serious Call to a holy life. How infinitely
short do I fall of this holy conformity to my Maker,
which he describes as the property of a Christian !
I am as much obligated to yield myself a willing
soldier to Christ to fight his battles, and glorify him,
in every action of my life, as he who ministers at
the altar, and performs the office of a preacher.
Why then am I not employed in his service ? Why
stand I here idle all the day ?

"MRS NEWELL.

63

EXTRACT OF A LETTER TO HER SISTER M. AT
CHARLESTOWN.

Nov. 18, 1810.

* How gracious, my dear sister, has God been to
us ! Uninterrupted health, food, and raiment are
ours. But when I enumerate our many mercies,
it is with deep humility that I look back on my past
life, and discover so little gratitude, and so much
unworthiness. How much has sovereign grace done
for me ! Though I have solemnly professed to find
consolation in Religion, to derive my hopes of hap-
piness only from God ; yet how often have I roved
in quest of pleasure, and dishonoured the best of
Masters, by an unholy life. How ungrateful have
I been for the common mercies of life, and for the
still more precious blessings of the Holy Spirit.
May every temporal blessing which your heart can
wish, be yours. But whatever be the trials through
which you are called to pass, Oh, may that heaven-
born religion attend you, which can sweeten the
bitter cup of life, afford you joy in this vale of tears,
support you in nature's last extremity, and conduct
you to the Heavenly Canaan, where undisturbed
happiness will ever reign ! Life is but a vapour.
Whether we spend it in tranquillity and ease, or in
pain and suffering, time will soon land us on the
shores of Eternity, our destined home. These
things, my dear sister, my heart tells me, are solemn
realities. They are not fictions. Though the lan-
guage of my past life has been, 6 there is no future
state ;' yet I now feel there is an Eternity, where I
shall meet my earthly friends, and stand accountable

.

64 MEMOIRS OF

at the great tribunal for my conduct towards them.
I regret the loss of those hours I have lost in vanity,
and in wounding the cause of that dear Redeemer,
whom I think, if I am not greatly deceived, I can
now call mine. I think I can say with the Psalmist,
4 Whom have I in Heaven but thee ? and there is
none upon earth thit I desire beside thee.1 — His re-
ligion comforts and supports my drooping spirits ;
his promises encourage, and his glories warm my
heart. But where am I ? The striking clock re-
minds me of the lateness of the hour. These de-
lightful, these heart-consoling subjects have almost
made me forget that tired nature requires repose.'

TO MISS S. H. ANDOVEE.

Haverhltt, Nov. 20, 1810.

WILL it afford my dear Miss H. the best satis-
faction to hear of the health and happiness of her
friends at Haverhill ? Let me assure you of our
perfect health, and of our united wishes for your
happiness, both temporal and eternal. While many
of our friends are languishing on beds of sickness,
sighing for the return of health, — while many
have gone the ' way of all the earth,' ' have heard
their sentence, and received their doom ;' we are
still enjoying the blessings of health, and are not
out of the reach of pardoning mercy. Ought
not a review of these daily blessings to excite in us
the liveliest gratitude ? How should our whole lives
be a constant series of grateful acknowledgment to
the Parent of mercies, for bestowing such great, such
unmerited favours on rebels doomed to die ! — Is my
friend, Miss H. rejoicing in God ? Does she find

MRS NEWELL. 66

joy and peace in believing ? This I sincerely hope
is your happy situation. I have infinite reason to
confess my obligation to God, for the faint disco-
veries I have lately entertained of his glorious cha-
racter. Yes, my dear Miss H. I still find the pro-
mises precious, and Jesus unchangeable. Though
I am worthless and undeserving, yet the blessed
Immanuel is lovely, and worthy of the united praises
of saints and angels. Though I am often led to
doubt my interest in this dear Saviour, yet some-
times I can rejoice in his perfections, and exclaim
with Thomas, ' My Lord and my God !'

You have, undoubtedly, heard of the departure
of Mrs S. Her faith and patience endured to the
end. What a happy exchange has she made ! Who
would not wish to die the death of the righteous ?
who would not wish their last end to be like her's ?
Mrs M. appears to enjoy religion ; she wishes
much to see you. A general stupidity to the one
thing needful still prevails. When will the showers
of divine grace be poured out upon this place ? Will
not this church, this vine of God's planting, rejoice
to see the work of the Lord prospering ? Your ear-
nest prayers are requested for a revival of pure and
undefiled religion in Haverhill. Mr Newell preached
a lecture here last evening. Do we not need such
faithful preachers here as much as the benighted
Pagans in India ? Is not the situation of gospel
sinners much more desperate, than that of those who
have never heard of a Saviour ? But still we have
reason to rejoice that God has inclined a faithful
few to preach Jesus to the Heathen. Oh, may their
labours be blessed ! May they see the inhabitants

66 MEMOIRS OF

of the wilderness embracing the offers of mercy !
We shall expect to see you with Mr W. on Satur-
day. Do not -disappoint us. Accept this from

HAREIET.

, TO MISS M. T. OF NEWBURY.

Boston, Feb. 18, 1811.

WHAT, my dear friend, (if I may enjoy the pri-
vilege of corresponding with you) shall be the sub-
ject of our letters ? Shall the common occurrences of
life, and the flattering compliments of the polite
world, fill our sheets ; or that religion, which is the
glory of the bright intelligences in heaven, and the
consolation of trembling believers on earth ? I think
I can confidently affirm, that the latter will be your
choice. As for myself, I can say that if I never
felt the power of this religion, yet it is a theme upon
which I love to converse, write, and reflect. It is
a duty incumbent on the children of God to reprove,
encourage and animate each other on their journey
tq the upper world Every Christian has difficul-
ties to overcome, temptations to encounter, and a
warfare to accomplish, which the world are strangers
to. If pilgrims in the same country can in the least
console each other, and sweeten the thorny journey,
by familiar intercourse, they ought not to neglect it.
We, my dear M . are professedly interested in the
same cause. Our home is professedly in heaven ;
we have temptations, difficulties, trials, and doubts,
which, if we are believers, are in unison. I feel
that I need the prayers and the advice of all the
followers of the Lamb. I have ' an evil heart of
unbelief,' prone to ' depart from the living God.'

MRS NEWELL. 67

Will M. pray for me ? Will she bear me in remem-
brance when supplicating mercy for other sinners ?
You shall not be forgotten by H. No. — If the
Friend of sinners will lend a listening ear to my
feeble cries, M. shall be strengthened and blessed.
By these united cries, we may draw down from
Heaven favours never to be forgotten. Painful re-
collection often recurs to those weeks that I spent
at Bradford. I say painful, because I fear that my
conduct brought a wound on that religion, that I
should wish to honour. While I lament with hu-
mility the loss of many precious hours, and the stu-
pidity which I then experienced, I have reason to
adore the mercy of Jehovah, that has since granted
me refreshing showers of grace. Yes, M. my mind
has been greatly exercised since I last saw you.
Never before did the promises of the Gospel appear
so precious, the character of God so lovely, and im-
mortal souls of so much worth. I tremble at the
idea of being again involved in the vanities of a
world which can afford no pleasure, and of feeling
indifferent about the kingdom of Jesus. But I am.
a dependant creature ; if forsaken of God, I shall
perish. My hope is on his grace. What, my
friend, is the state of your mind ? Are you enjoy-
ing the light of a Saviours countenance ? Are you
fast progressing heavenward ; and are you possess-
ing joy that is unspeakable and full of glory ? This
I hope is your situation. ' A soul redeemed de-
mands a life of praise.' Let our future lives evince
our gratitude, and every thought be brought into
subjection to the Father of spirits. It is now about
three weeks since I left H. Last Sabbath I en-

68

MEMOIRS OF

joyed the pleasure of hearing the good Dr G. preach.
This pleasure I hope often to be favoured with
while I continue with my sister M. I have been
these two days with our friends the Misses F.*s.
My time has passed very pleasantly with them.

I have more things to tell you than I have time
to write. A number of interesting occurrences
have happened since I saw you. Should 1 again
be indulged with an interview with you, I fear I
shall tire your patience with a history of my troubles
and pleasures. But I must leave you, my M.
May you enjoy the influences of the Holy Spirit in
life, consolation in death, and a seat in the mansions
af blessedness !

HARRIET.

1811.

Feb. £4. For four weeks past, have been visiting
my sister at C. The first week, I was remarkably
favoured with the presence of Immanuel. Never
before did I gain such access to the mercy-seat, and
entertain such glorious views of the character of
God, and such humiliating ideas of my own as a
sinner. But I have since experienced a sad reverse.
My God why hast thou forsaken me ? O for that
invigorating grace, which the Saviour dispenses to
his followers ! But can I hope myself his follower ?

Last Sabbath went with Mr H. and sister M. to
hear Dr G. His language, his very features, spoke
the emotion of his soul. His text was in Corin-
thians, ' When I was a child, I spake as a child,' &c.

As we entered the meeting-house, they were sing-
ing my favourite hymn, ' Lord, what a wretched

MRS NEWELL. 69

land is this,' &c. in a melancholy air. Such were
my sensations, that I could hardly refrain from
weeping. How lovely are thy tabernacles, O Lord
of hosts, where the gospel of Jesus is proclaimed !

Feb. 25. After spending the day in tritiing con-
versation, I was permitted to enjoy the privilege of
attending a Christian conference, where the evening
was spent in praying, singing, and conversing upon
the things of religion.

Feb. 25. Mr H. and sister M. informed me that
my dear mamma wished me to engage in a school,
the ensuing summer. Can I think of such a respon-
sible situation as that of instructing little immortals ?
I know that I ought not to consult my own ease ;
the question should be, how can I be most useful
in the world ? I hope I shall be directed by Heaven !
Oh, that God would use me as an instrument of
promoting his glory ; whether it be in the domestic
circle, or in the arduous employment of ' teaching
young ideas how to shoot.'

Feb. 27. I have spent the greatest part of the
day in reading. I find that I am indeed ignorant
— long to have time to devote myself wholly to the
improvement of my mind. While endeavouring to
obtain useful knowledge, Oh may I never forget,
that if at last found a hypocrite, I shall be capable
of greater sufferings than if totally ignorant.

Feb. 28. Afflicted with a violent pain in my
head. Experience daily evinces, that afflictions will
do me no good, unless sanctified. Have had some
sense of the presence of Jehovah, and some longing
desires to be wholly conformed to him. When shall
this vain world lose its power to charm> and the re-

0 MEMOIES OP

ligion of the Gospel influence my heart and life ?
Oh, when shall I die, when shall I live for ever ?
How many times this day, have I repeated that
hymn of Dr Watts, ' Lord, what a wretched land
is this."1

March 1. Father of lights, it is the office of thy
Spirit, to create holy exercises in the hearts of thy
creatures. O may I enter upon this month with
renewed resolutions to devote myself exclusively to
thee ; that at the close of it, I may not sigh over
mispent hours.

March 3. Heard an admirable sermon this morn-
ing from Dr G. Have likewise communed with
God at his table. Oh, this cold, stupid heart, I
long for wings to fly away from this clod of earth,
and participate the holiness and pleasures of the
saints within the vail.

March 4. Have this day visited at . The

entertainment of the evening was splendid and ex-
travagant. Query. Is it consistent with the humble
religion of the Gospel, for professors, who ought to
deny themselves, and take up their cross daily, to
expend that money which is God's, and is only lent
them for pious uses, in providing dainties to please
the palate, and in clothes to ornament their bodies ?

Where is the vast difference between the children
of God and the children of this world ? As far as I
have examined the subject, it is my candid opinion,
that if Christians would appropriate more of their
property to charitable purposes, instead of making
such extravagant provision for the flesh ; would
men imitate the example of the meek and lowly
Jesus, feel indifferent to the smiles and frowns of

MRS NEWELL. 71

the world ; religion would flourish, the kingdom of
God would be built up, and happy effects would be
visible through the world.

March 9- This is a delightful evening ! Not a
cloud is in the heavens to intercept the bright rays
of the moon. All nature, both animate and inani-
mate, appears combined in the blessed employment
of praising God. The moon shining in her glory,
and the planets and stars, are monitors that speak
aloud — more lovely to me, than ten thousand human
voices. Awake, my slothful soul ; nothing in crea-
tion has half thy work to perform, and Oh, let it
not be said, that nothing is half so dull !

March 25. God has not left himself without
witness in the earth. No ; he is still manifesting
the riches of his grace, in bringing home his chosen
ones. A young lady of my acquaintance, formerly
gay and a stranger to piety, has hopefully become a
follower of the Lamb ! And has my dear M. chosen
Jesus for her friend and portion? I cannot but
stand amazed to see the salvation of God.

March 30. Have found much encouragement
and satisfaction of late in reading some of Newton's
works. They are indeed a treasure. He penetrates
my heart ; and while he exposes my depravity, he
points me to the Lamb of God, who taketh away
the sin of the world.

April 1. This is an interesting public day. O
that the Supreme Ruler of all events, would incline
every citizen to vote for that man who is most wor-
thy of the office of a governor. The aspect of the
times is dark ; but God can bring good out of evil,
and continue to us our national blessings. I often

72 MEMOIRS OF

find this reflection a sweet solace in the hour of
darkness, that no event, however small, can take
place without the permission and direction of the
great Jehovah.

April 7. This a day, on which God usually
manifests the glories of his character to his dear
children. How exactly calculated are all the means
and ordinances of the Gospel, for the comfort and
improvement of the saints. What an act of love
and wisdom was it in God, to select one day from
the week, to be appropriated to his worship. Were
it not for this glorious day, I should be in danger
of losing all sense of eternal things.

April 9. What shall a stupid Christian do?
Stupid Christian did I say ! Can a Christian ever
feel stupid ? It is an inconsistent title. But not-
withstanding all my death-like stupidity, I cannot
renounce the hope of being a child of the Most
High. What shall I do, a dependant, guilty crea-
ture, to gain access to the mercy-seat, and derive a
supply of grace from the fountain of life ? Draw
me, thou Saviour of sinners, and I will run after
thee. O lead me beside the still waters, and refresh
my soul with heavenly food.

April 17. How shall I record the events of this
day ! How can I tranquillize my disturbed mind
enough to engage in the once delightful employment
of writing ? Returned from Boston in the evening,
after spending three days very agreeably with my
friends C. and N. — M. handed me a letter with an
appearance which indicated that something unusual
was contained in it. I broke the seal, and what
were my emotions when I read the name of »

MRS NEWELL. B

This was not a long wished-for letter : no ; it was
a long dreaded one, which I was conscious would
involve me in doubt, anxiety, and distress. Nor
were the contents such as I might answer at a
distant period ; they required an immediate answer.
And now what shall I say ? How shall I decide
this important, this interesting" question ? Shall I
consent to leave for ever the Parent of my youth,
the friends of my life, the dear scenes of my child-
hood, and my native country, and go to a land of
stranger 3) 4 not knowing the things which shall
befal me there ?"" O for direction from Heaven ! O
for ' that wisdom which is profitable to direct T I
will go to God, and with an unprejudiced mind,
seek his guidance. I will cast this heavy burden
on him, humbly trusting that he will sustain me,
and direct me in the path of duty,

April 19. The important decision is not yet
made. I am still wavering. I long to see ancf
converse with my dear mother. So delicate is my
situation, that I dare not unbosom my heart to a
single person. What shall I do ? Could tears di-
rect me in the path of duty, surely I should be
directed. — My heart aches. — I know not what to
do ! — * Guide me, O thou great Jehovah P

April 21. Have now retired to my chamber,
once more to vent in silence, my unavailing sighs,
and with an almost bursting heart, implore divine
relief and direction.

I shall go home on Tuesday. — Never did I so
greatly long to visit the dear native dwelling.

April 22. Perhaps, my dear mother will imme-
diately say, Harriet shall never go. Well, if
G

74 MEMOIRS OF

should be the case, my duty would be plain. I
cannot act contrary to the advice and express com-
mand of a pious mother.

The fact was, that her mother made no objection to
her accepting the offer of Mr Newell, but cheerfully
left her to act according to her conviction of duty.

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVERLY.

Havcrhill, April 29, 1811.

IT has not been for want of inclination, or from
forgetfulness, that I have thus long neglected writ-
ing to my dear friend, Miss W. ; but every day has
brought with it various and new occupations ; and
though my friends have not been forgotten, yet I
confess I have not been so punctual as I ought. I
need not assure you, that your letter produced
many pleasing sensations. I hope this will find
you enjoying the presence of our covenant Saviour,
and engaged in the promotion of his glorious cause.
Christians are greatly criminal for not living in the
constant enjoyment of God. He is ever ready and
willing to manifest the glories of his character to
their souls ; and nothing but their native opposition
to holiness, and their love of evil, ever prevents.
Are not believers inconsistent creatures ? They can
speak of a Saviour's love — the happiness resulting
from an acquaintance with God, and point out the
road to impenitent sinners, which alone will lead to
substantial bliss ; and yet often wander in forbidden
paths, lose all relish for spiritual enjoyments, and
rest contented with the low pleasures of sense.

MRS NEWELL. 75

If I am a child of Jesus, this inconsistency has
often been mine. And yet I long for a greater
sense of my dependance, and more entire conformity
to Him who died for me. If any thing here deserves
the name of happiness, it does not spring from earth.
No ; it is of heavenly birth, and comes from the
regions of purity. The vast and boundless desires
implanted in the human heart, cannot be satisfied
with any thing short of God. Nothing in heaven or
earth is capable of affording real bliss without him.

I have spent three months this last winter with
my sister at C. My religious privileges have been
more extensive than usual. I have been favoured
with frequent opportunities of hearing Dr G. preach,
and have likewise attended many serious meetings.
But I still wanted a heart to improve under the
cultivation of Jehovah's hand. Neither afflictions
nor enjoyments will do us good, unless sanctified by
divine grace.

Since my return to H. I have sometimes enjoyed
much consolation in committing myself and all my
concerns into the hands of God. Some circum-
stances, which at some future time I may communi-
cate to you, I hope will have a tendency to wean
me from this world, and fasten my heart to Heaven.
I do, my dear friend, find this ' a desert world,
replete with sin and sorrow.' I often long to leave
it, and find a sweet release from every woe.

I visited Miss F. at Boston, often. H. returned
from H. about three weeks since ; she observed, she
intended writing to your sister N.

I have not read the book mentioned in your last.

76 MEMOIRS OF

but confide in your judgment ; think it must be

entertaining.

I hope to have the pleasure of a visit from you
this summer; I wish much to see you and your
sister ; hope you are both enjoying the light of the
Sun of righteousness. Persevere, my friend, in the
Christian life, and pray for your friend Harriet.
Our pilgrimage will shortly be ended, and all the
trials of life will be over. Oh, may we meet in
heaven ; and join with the angelic host around the
throne, in adoring the matchless perfections of
Immanuel, through the ages of eternity ! I am, my
dear Miss W. affectionately yours,

HARRIET.

TO MISS M. S. OF BOSTON.

Haverhill, Sabbath eve, May 1811.

WHILE agitated with doubts and conflicts, with
the gay world in opposition, it has afforded me
much consolation to think I have a friend in M.
who can feel my sorrows, and sympathize with me
in grief. I have passed through many interesting
and solemn scenes, since I last saw you. Return-
ing to Haverhill, I found my dear mamma calm and
composed. So completely was she filled with a sense
of the shortness of time, the uncertainty of life, and
the duty of giving up our dearest comforts to the
Lord, that she never raised one objection, but
wished me to act according as my conscience di-
rected. I felt an unspeakable consolation in com-
mitting the disposal of this event to God. I
thought I could willingly renounce my own opinion.

MllS NEWELL. 77

and sitting at the feet of Jesus, be guided entirely
by him. Mr N. has visited us frequently. He
wishes not to influence me ; he would not if he could.
And now, my dear M. what will you say to me,
when I tell you, that I do think, seriously think, of
quitting my native land for ever, and of going to a
far distant country, ' not knowing the things which
shall befal me there.1 Should I refuse to make this
sacrifice, refuse to lend my little aid in the promul-
gation of the gospel among the Heathen, how could
I ever expect to enjoy the blessing of God, and
peace of conscience, though surrounded with every
temporal mercy ? It would be pleasant to spend the
remaining part of my life with my friends, and to
have them surround my dying bed. But no ! I
must relinquish their society, and follow God to a
land of strangers, where millions of my fellow sin-
ners are perishing for lack of vision. I have pro-
fessed, my friend, for these two years past, to derive
comfort only from God. Here then is a consoling
reflection ; the ever blessed Jesus is able to support
and comfort me, as well in the sultry climes of
India, as in my dear native laud. I trust that he
will make his promise good, that as my days is, so
shall my strength be. The wintry storms of life
will soon be over, and if I have committed my im-
mortal interest into the hands of God, I shall shortly
find a sweet release from every woe. So visibly
have I beheld the hand of Providence in removing
some obstacles which once I thought almost insur-
mountable, that I dare not object. All my friends
with whom I have conversed since my return to
Haverhill, advise me to go. Some Christians who

78 MEMOIRS OF

were formerly opposed, after obtaining a more ex-
tensive knowledge of the subject, think females
would be useful. The people of this world probably
view this subject as they do others. Those who
have never felt the worth of their own souls, account
it superstition and hypocritical zeal, for Christians
to sacrifice their earthly pleasures, for the sake of
telling the Heathen world of a Saviour. But all
the ridicule that the gay and thoughtless sinner can
invent, will not essentially injure me. If I am
actuated by love to the Saviour and his cause, no-
thing in earth or hell can hurt me. I must ask
your prayers for me. We have prayed together;
Oh, let us now, though separated in person, unite
at the throne of grace. Perhaps my view of this
subject may be altered ; and God may yet prepare
a way for me to continue in America. Oh, that I
might be submissive and humbly wait on God !
He can direct me at this eventful crisis, and glorify
himself. Affectionately yours,

HARRIET.

TO MISS S. H— r — , OF NEWBURY.

Haverhill, June 12, 1811.

How shall I sufficiently thank my dear Miss H.
for the kind token of affectionate remembrance,
which she was kind enough to send me? Your
letter really exhilarated my languid spirits. I had
spent the evening in private conversation with our
dear Mr N. The usual subject of the contemplated
Mission was renewedly talked over, and conse-
quently the dangers, the crosses, and the manifold

MRS NEWELL. 79

trials of such an important undertaking, were themes
which engrossed our thoughts. Depressed with
anxious apprehensions, and in doubt respecting
duty, Mrs G. handed me a letter, and the well
known hand of the writer I soon recognised. The
contents dispelled many a heart-rending sigh. This
eve, mamma received a letter from dear brother J. ;
I had previously written to him. Dear boy ! he is
much distressed for Harriet. He thinks she is do-
ing wrong, and causing her friends needless anxiety.
Would to heaven I could prevent distress from ever
entering the heart of a widowed beloved parent, and
the dearest brothers and sisters ! Oh, Miss H. could
these dear friends but go with me to distant India
— but alas ! that is a fruitless wish ; but were it
possible that this could be the case, I think I could
quit America without reluctance, and even rejoice
to spend my life among the benighted Heathen.
Sometimes I can reflect on this subject with compo-
sure, and even long to be on Missionary ground,
where superstition and idolatry usurp the sway;
think I can bid my dear friends a last farewell with
calmness, and follow with delight the leadings of
Providence. But at other times I fear this is not
the situation God has designed for me ; and if it is
not, I can never lay claim to the promises of the
Gospel, or expect the support of an Almighty arm,
when dangers stand thick around me. My greatest
fear is, that I shall lose all courage and perseverance
should I set out to go, and not only be unhappy
myself, but make those wretched who are with me,
But are not these thoughts criminal when carried to
excess ? Ought I not to praise the Lord for what I

80 MEMOIRS OF

have received, and trust him for a supply of grace ?
Ought I not to examine the subject prayerfully,
and if on examination I am convinced that Jesus
calls me to make these great sacrifices, ought I not
to do it voluntarily, and leave the event with the
Ruler of the universe ?

I find, my dear Miss H. that I am now in great
danger of being actuated by a strong attachment.
Oh, could I but give the ever-blessed God the first
place in my affection, I should not be in danger of
being misled by earthly objects. Often have I
adopted the words of the pious Mr Newton —

* The dearest idol I have known,

Whatever that idol be,
Help me to tear it from thy throne,
And worship only thce.'

When shall we hope for a visit from you ? Do
write me often, your letters will always be acceptable.
Although tired and fatigued with the employments
of the day, I have improved this late hour in writing.

Do you not admire Mr Hall ? I heard him preach
a preparatory sermon at Bradford last week ; which
was clear, distinguishing, and very excellent. He
called here one morning, but I had gone to walk.
Mr Nott likewise called on us last week ; we were
in the meeting-house and did not see him. Our
friend N. is still in Salem ; I long to see her.

Can I ask the favour of being remembered in
your intercessions at the throne of grace ! Oh, that
Christians would pray for me. Farewell, my dear
Miss H. May the choicest blessings of Heaven be
yours. I am affectionately yours,

HARRIET,

MRS NEWELL. 81

I had forgotten to tell you that our dear Mr W.
called here again, and I did not see him. Do you
think I ever shall ?

1811.

June 22. I have this day taken my leave of Mr
N. not expecting to see him again for nine months.
I can hardly feel reconciled to his departure ; but
the will of the Lord be done. Taking every cir-
cumstance into consideration, I am fully persuaded
it will be most for his interest to spend the summer
and winter in Philadelphia. Why then should I
object ?

June 27. It is now almost five years since my
mind became seriously impressed with eternal reali-
ties. What have I learnt in these five years of my-
self? and what of God ? Weep, O my soul, for
past transgression, and present unfruitfulness.

TO MISS 0. F. OF BOSTON.

Haverhill, June 29, 1811.

I THANK you, dear C. for your affectionate letter.
My engagements have been such, that I could not
conveniently answer it before ; hope you will pardon
the neglect. The kind interest you have of late
taken in my happiness has greatly endeared you to
my heart. May you never want a friend to sympa-
thize with you when ' adverse fortune frowns,' or
to rejoice with you, when ' life's vale is strew'd with
flowerets fresh.' If the remaining days of my short
pilgrimage are to be spent in sorrow, O that heaven

82 MEMOIRS OF

would grant C. peace and happiness, and a sure
pledge of joys to come. Where my future lot may
be cast, time only can determine. If I can but
maintain a firm and unshaken confidence in God, a
humble reliance on his blessed promises, I shall be
safe, though temporal comforts languish and die. I
am now calculating upon a life of trials and hard-
ships ; but the grace of Jesus is sufficient for me.
The Friend of sinners is able and willing to support
me amid scenes of danger and distress.

When I bade you a parting adieu, my mind was
in a state of agitation which I can never express.
Dejected and weary I arrived at the dear mansion,
where I have spent so many pleasant hours. My
dear mamma met me at the door, with a countenance
that bespoke the tranquillity of her mind. The
storm of opposition, as she observed, had blown
over, and she was brought to say from the heart,
* thy will be done.' Yes, C. she had committed her
child to God's parental care ; and though her affec-
tion was not lessened, yet, with tears in her eyes,
she said, * If a conviction of duty and love to the
souls of the perishing Heathen lead you to India,
as much as I love you, Harriet, I can only say, Go?
Here I was left to decide the all-important question.
Many were the conflicts within my breast. But, at
length, from a firm persuasion of duty, and a will-
ingness to comply, after much examination and
prayer, I answered in the affirmative.

I wish to tell you all the motives that have ac-
tuated me to come to this determination ; likewise,
how all the difficulties, which applied to me particu-
larly, have been removed. But this I cannot do

MRS NEWELL. 83

until I see you. Why cannot you make it conve-
nient to spend three or four weeks with me this
summer ? To assure you that it would afford me
happiness, would be but what you already know.
Write to me C. next week, if possible. Let me
know when I may expect you, and I will be at
home. Perhaps we may go and spend a day or two
with our friends in N. I am very lonely. N. H.
has been visiting at S. ever since I returned from
C. Mr Newell has gone to Philadelphia, where he
expects to continue until a short time before he quits
his native country. He is engaged in the study of
physic, together with Mr Hall. How has your
mind been exercised of late ? Are you living in the
enjoyment of religion? C. we must live nearer to
God ; we must be more engaged in his cause. We
are under the most solemn obligations to be active
in the Redeemer's service. Let us not calculate
upon a life of idleness and ease ; this is not the por-
tion of the followers of the Lamb. They must ex-
pect tribulations and crosses in their way to the
kingdom of heaven. But let us ever remember,
that if we are the believing children of God, a rest
awaits us in heaven, which will doubly compensate
us for all the troubles of this life.

When interceding at the mercy-seat, Oh forget
not C. to pray for the salvation of the benighted
Heathen, whose souls are as precious as our own.
With them, remember your friend

HARRIET.

Mty**/*****

1811.
June 30. Mr D. preached from this text, ' And

84? MEMOIRS OF

as he drew nigh to the city, he wept over it, saying*
&c. My whole soul was melted into compassion for
impenitent sinners. Can I ever again feel regard-
less and unconcerned for their immortal souls ?

' Did Christ for sinners weep,
And shall our cheeks be dry ?
Let floods of penitential grief,
Burst forth from every eye. '

Did Jesus say to sinners, c Oh that thou hadst
known in this thy day, the things that belong to thy
peace,1 &c. and shall I smile upon them, while in
the road to ruin.

July 15. The long expected letter has at length
arrived. How can I wish for a friend, more worthy
of my love, more deserving of my heart ? But my
heart is already his. A friend, how rich the trea-
sure ! If an earthly friend is thus near to my heart,
how strong should be my attachment to a holy God,
whose friendship to his children is lasting as eter-
nity ! How can I love him sufficiently ? How can I
take too much delight in honouring him before the
world, and in promoting his cause ?

July 23. I have just read a little passage in
Thomson's Seasons, which I thought I could adopt
.as my own language ;

* Should fate command ine to the farthest verge
Of the green earth, to distant barb'rous climes,
Rivers unknown to song ; where first the sun
Gilds Indian mountains, or his setting beam
Flames to the Atlantic Isles ; 'tis nought to me,
Since God is ever present — ever felt,
In the void waste, as in the city full ;
And where he vital breathes, there must be jog.'

MRS NEWELL. 85

EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER SISTER M. AT
CHARLESTGWN.

August 1, 1811,

• c SHOULD 1 tell you there is a prospect of
my spending the remaining part of this short life in
a land of strangers ; should I tell you I do seriously
think of leaving my native dwelling, my friends
.and companions for ever ; would you upbraid me ?
Could you attribute it to want of attachment to the
friends of my youth, or to entire ignorance of this
great undertaking ? You would not, you could not^
did you know the conflict which almost rends my
heart. Never before did my dear mamma, brothers,
and sisters, appear so dear to me. But God com-
mands me ! In his holy providence he now offers
me an opportunity of visiting the Heathen. While
many of my female friends, who are far more ade-
quate to the important employment, are permitted
to enjoy the society of their earthly relatives through
life, I am called to quit the scenes of my childhood,
and go to a far distant country. How can I ever
pray for the promotion of the Gospel among the
Heathen, if I am unwilling to offer my little aid
when such an opportunity is given ? I know what
to expect from a gay and thoughtless world. But
I have this consolation, that ridicule cannot injure
my soul. In the eternal world, how trifling will it
appear ! That some professing Christians oppose it,
will cause me many unhappy feelings. But I must
think, that were they to view the subject impartially,
divesting themselves of the love of worldly ease,
they would favour it. With my present feelings^ -I

86 MEMOIRS OF

would not oppose it for all this earth can afford ;
lest I should be found fighting against God, dis-
couraging Missions, and preventing the Gospel's
being spread among the Heathen.

I have this consolation, if the motives by which
I am actuated are sincere and good, »God will accept
the inclination to glorify him, even though I should
not be made useful. But my dear sister, this is a
trying season ! It is from God alone that I derive
the least sensible comfort. This world has lost its
power to charm, and all its applause is a trifle, light
as air. My companions are perhaps accusing me
of superstition, and the love of novelty. But God
alone knows the motives by which I am actuated,
and he alone will be my final Judge. Let me but
form such a decision as he will approve, and I ask
no more. Willingly will I let go my eager grasp
of the things of time and sense, and flee to Jesus.
Oh that he would prepare me for the future eyents
of life, and glorify himself in the disposal of my
concerns !'

1811.

Aug. 7. I have just laid down Home on Mis-
sions. How did his pious heart glow with benevo-
lence to his fellow-creatures ! How ardently did he
wish for the promulgation of the Gospel among the
benighted Heathen ! I think, for a moment, I partake
of his ardour, and long to hear that the standard of
he cross is set up in the distant nations of the earth.

•' Yes, Christian heroes ! go — proclaim
Salvation through ImmanuePs name :
To India's clime the tidings bear,
And plant the rose of Sharon there.'

MRS NEWELL. 87

Willingly would I sacrifice the dearest earthly
friend to engage in this blessed service. Oh, that I
had a thousand pious relatives, well calculated for
the important station of Missionaries ; the tenderest
ties, that bind nie to them, should be rent. I would
say to them, go — and let the destitute millions of
Asia and Africa know, there is compassion in the
hearts of Christians ; tell them of the love of Jesus,
and the road to bliss on high. Providence now
gives me an opportunity to go myself to the Heathen,
Shall I refuse the offer ? shall I love the glittering
toys of this dying world so well, that I cannot re-
linquish them for God ? Forbid it, Heaven ! Yes,
I will go — however weak and unqualified I am,
there is an all-sufficient Saviour ready to support
me. In God alone is my hope. I will trust his
promises, and consider it one of the highest privi-
leges that would be conferred upon me, to be per-
mitted to engage in his glorious service, among the
wretched inhabitants of Hindostan.

Aug. 11. How reviving to my disconsolate mind,
has been the word of life this day ! Oh, this ador-
able plan of salvation ! Have I the least inclination
to alter one single part of it, if 1 could ? O no ! I
would not be less holy — I would not wish God to
exact less perfect obedience from his creatures.

Mr R. drank tea with us. I felt the same back-
wardness in conversing upon the things of the L
dom, that I usually do. Whence this criminal dif-
fidence ? Oh, when will divine grace so absorb my
heart, that my stammering tongue shall be loosed,
and Jesus and his salvation be my theme ! If I
cannot unite in conversing to believers, in a land

88 MEMOIRS OF

where religion flourishes, how can I speak to the
benighted Heathen of India, whose minds are in-
volved in Pagan darkness ?

TO MISS M. S. OF BOSTON.

Haverhill, Sabbath, Aug. 11, 1811.

How great, my dear M. would be the pleasure,
could I retreat with you to some lonely corner, far
from the busy haunts of this vain world, and unbo-
som to you the secrets of my heart, instead of writ-
ing to you. But this dear privilege is denied me.
I must be content with expressing a few unconnected
thoughts on paper for the present, and will anticipate
a happy meeting with you on earth, and a still
happier one in those regions, where the friends of
Immanuel will never more be separated. What if
our intercourse on earth should cease ? If we are
the followers of the Lamb, our prayers will unitedly
ascend to the same blessed throne while we live;
and when our pilgrimage is ended, our friendship
will exist and flourish for ever. M. we are pilgrims,
we are strangers in a barren land. This world is not
our portion ; it is incapable of satisfying our desires.
The glittering toys of life are not calculated to afford
real enjoyment. There is nothing in heaven or
earth, but God, that can delight our hearts, and
ease us of the heavy load of sin. Let us not be
satisfied with the low and grovelling pursuits of
time ; but let us look to the unchangeable Jehovah,
for a supply of his soul-refreshing grace. How-
much has God done for us individually ? He has,
as we humbly trust, made us partakers of his grace.

MRS NEWELL. 89

and redeemed us from eternal death. What shall
we render to him for this abundant mercy ? Oh,
let our future lives evince our gratitude, and let our
praises unceasingly -flow to his throne ! Dear M.
I feel as though I had done nothing for God
Where are the last five years of my wretched life ?
Can they witness to my exertions in the cause of
the Lord ? < I think of the dayy of other years,
and my soul is sad.1 All is a barren waste.. A few
heartless duties and cold formalities, will never carry
me to heaven.

Sabbath eve. This day, my dear M. I have been
highly privileged. I have heard three sermons
preached by the excellent Mr R. How sweet is
the gospel to the heart of the believer ! How does
the pure word of truth animate the desponding sin-
ner, and encourage him to apply to the Lamb of
God for pardon and sanctification ! But this glo-
rious gospel, which reveals to mortals the way of
salvation, the far greater part of the inhabitants of
the earth are deprived of. * Where there is no vi-
sion the people perish.' Thousands of immortal
souls are entering eternity, and peopling the dark
realms of woe. If our souls are of greater impor-
tance than this world, with all its boasted treasures,
how can we calculate the worth of those millions of
souls, which are equally as precious as our own?
We have had the Bible in our hands from our child-
hood ; we are instructed regularly from this precious
volume, every Sabbath. We have believing friends
to associate with ; we enjoy the stated ordinances of
the gospel. But the dear Heathen have no such
privileges. They are destitute of Bibles, Sabbaths,

90 MEMOIBS OF

and churches. The inhabitants of Hinclostan, to
atone for their sins, will submit to the most cruel
tortures imaginable. Widows consent to be burned
with their deceased husbands ; parents sacrifice their
infant offspring to appease the anger of their idol
gods ; they cast them into the river Ganges, where
they perish. But this dreadful superstition vanishes
before the benignant ray& of the gospel, as the morn-
ing dew before the rising sun. We enjoy its meri-
dian splendours. Have we any benevolence ? Are
we susceptible of feeling for the distresses of our
fellow creatures ? As we value the salvation which
a Saviour offers ; as we value his tears, his labours,
and his death, let us now seriously ask what we
shall do for the salvation of the benighted Heathen ?
If we are not permitted to visit them themselves,
and declare to them the efficacy of a Saviour's blood, ,
yet we can ardently pray for them. And not only
pray for them, but by our vigorous exertions we can
awaken a missionary spirit in others, and excite
them also to feel for those who are perishing in
Pagan darkness. M. the subject is copious indeed.
I might easily write till the rising sun, and then
not give you a perfect delineation of the wretched-
ness of many of our fellow-creatures. But I must
leave these forlorn wretches. Suffice it to say, that
when the whole universe shall stand collected at the
bar of God, we shall meet them, and there render
a solemn account for the manner with which we
have conducted ourselves towards them in this
world. I hope, my dear M. you are living near to
God, and enjoying times of refreshing from his
presence. Oh pray often, and remember me in

.MRS NEWELL. 91

your prayers. Should stormy oceans roll between
us, yet I shall ever continue to love you. Farewell
my dear M. Your affectionate

HARRIET.

EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER SISTER M. AT
CHARLESTOWN.

Aug. 1811,

A FEW moments this morning shall be spent in
writing to my dear sister. Accept my hearty con-
gratulations for your returning health. I often
think of you,, and imagine you possessed of every
comfort which can render life desirable. I have
been contrasting your present delightful situation
with the trying one that is probably to be mine.
Although I could shed floods of tears at the idea of
bidding a final farewell to the dea? associates of my
youth, and the guardian and instructor of my early
years ; yet a consciousness that this is the path
marked out for me by my heavenly Father, and an
assurance that the cause I have engaged in is a
blessed one, impart at times an indescribable plea-
sure. If some unforeseen occurrence should prevent
my going to the East Indies, I shall still enjoy the
satisfaction of thing that this also is ordered by
God. Should I never go, Oh may I never forget
the wretched inhabitants of Hindostan, nor cease
to pray that they may enjoy the blessings of the
gospel. HARRIET AT WOOD.

1811.
Aug. 13. How consoling has been the beloved

92 MEMOIRS OF

promise, when sinking under the contemplated diffi-
culties of a missionary life, 4 My grace is sufficient
for thee.' Have I any thing but air unfaithful de-
praved heart, to discourage me, in this great under-
taking? Here the Almighty God, the Maker of
all worlds, the infinite Disposer of all events, has
pledged his word for the safety of his believing
children. Sooner will the universe sink into nothing,
than God fail of performing his promises. The
cause is good, the foundation is sure. If the Savi-
our has promised a sufficiency of his grace, what
have I to fear ? Oh that I had a stronger confidence
in God — a heart to rely on him for grace to help in
every time of need ! When I reach my journey ''s
end, how trifling will earthly sorrows appear !
, Aug.I4i. This is indeed a wretched world. How
few the joys ! how many and various the sorrows of
life ! Well, if this world is unsatisfying, ' if cares
i and woes promiscuous grow,' how great the conso-
lation, that I shall soon leave it !

* Loose, then, from earth, the grasp of fond desire,
Weigh anchor, and the happier climes explore '

In the Paradise of God, every rising wish that
swells the heart of the celestial inhabitant, is imme-
diately gratified. Oh for a dismission from this
clayey tabernacle ! Oh for an entrance into those
lovely mansions ! My soul pants for the full enjoy-
ment of God. I cannot bear this little spirituality —
this absurd indifference ; I long to be swallowed up
in endless fruition !

Aug. 15. A letter from my friend, Mr Newell.
He appears much impressed with eternal concerns.
May he enjoy the light of Immanuers countenance !

NEWELL. 9#

Have just heard of Mr J.'s arrival, and that he
expects soon to set out for India. This unexpected
news solemnized my mind. A consciousness of my
unpreparedness for this arduous undertaking makes
me tremble. But I will give myself to God ; ' 'tis
all that I can do.'

Aug. !.{}. Conscious that the riches and honours
of this world will not be mine, my deceitful heart
often promises happiness in the society of a dear
friend. But how vain this hope ! Oh, let me from
this hour cease from anticipating creature happiness.
Oh that I could look to God alone for permanent
satisfaction !

* Dear Saviour, let thy beauties be

My soul's eternal food ;
And grace command my heart away
From all created good.'

Aug. 20. How strong is Christian friendship !
He who enjoined it upon his followers, to love God,
has likewise commanded them to love one another.
If I am a stranger to the joys of pardoning mercy ;
if I am an enemy to holiness ; whence arises this
union with Christians ? What has produced this
love to those who resemble God ? Formerly I pre-
ferred the friendship and society of those, whose
hearts were at enmity with God ; who disliked the
sublime and /humbling doctrines of the gospel ; but
now I can say with Ruth, ' Thy people shall be my
people.' My soul is cemented to them ; arid if I
am not greatly deceived, my affection is the strongest
for those who live nearest to God, and are most
concerned for his glory. I love the most abject
creature in existence, however despised by the wise

94) MEMOIRS OP

men of this world, who bears the image of the
lowly Jesus. Yes ; how could I rejoice to give
the endearing appellation of brother or sister, to one
of the tawny natives of the East, whom grace had
subdued.

Aug. Q%. Sweet is the name of Immanuel to
believers. That name speaks peace and consolation
to their troubled minds. In him they find a balm
for every woe.

' Jesus to multitudes unknown,

Oh name divinely sweet 1
Jesus in thee, in thee alone,
Wealth, honour, pleasure meet*

Should both the Indies, at my call,

Their boasted stores resign ;
With joy, I would renounce them all,

For leave to call thee mine.

Should earth's vain treasures all depart,

Of this dear gift possess'd,
I'd clasp it to my joyful heart,

And be for ever bless'd.'

Is this the language of my heart ? Am / willing
to relinquish the pleasures, the honours, the riches,
and the applause of the world, for leave to call
Immanuel mine ? If so, I may enjoy exalted hap-
piness in a land of strangers.

TO MISS H. B. OF SALEM,

Haoerhitt* Avg. 23, 1811.

INDUCED by the repeated solicitations of your
sister S. I have retired to my chamber, determined
to devote a leisure hour, in renewing a correspond-

MRS NEWELL. 95

cuce, which has for a long time been entirely
relinquished. The attachments which I formed in
the earlier part of my life, have of late been greatly
strengthened. Those companions, in whose society
6 the longest summer days seemed too much in haste,'
have become exceedingly dear to my heart. You,
my H. were one of the choicest and most loved mem-
bers of the dear familiar circle. Did pensive me-
lancholy for a moment assume the place of mirth
and gaiety in my mind, you were immediately ac-
quainted with the cause. Did my youthful heart
beat with joy, if you were a partner, joy was
heightened. But particularly dear did the appel-
lation of friend appear, when we were unitedly
depressed with a sense of the divine displeasure,
and when our souls, as we then thought, were
irradiated with the light of truth, and washed in
the peace-speaking blood of Immanuel. Should
our lives be spared, very different will probably
be our future destinies. Blest with those beloved
friends, whose sympathy alleviates every grief, whose
society contributes so largely to your happiness,
and indulged, not only with a competency, but with
affluence and ease, you may glide , along through
this world, almost a stranger to the ills attendant
on mortals. But these joys remain not for me.
Destined to a far distant land, my affectionate
friends, my pleasant home, my much loved country,
J must leave for ever. Instead of the soft delights
and elegancies of life, self-denials, hardships, priva-
tions, and sorrows will be mine. Instead of the
improved and polished society of Haverhill asso-
ciates, will be substituted the society of the uncivi-

96 MEMOIRS OF

lized Hindoos. Instead of being enlivened by the
cheering voice of a believing friend, I shall behold
thousands prostrating themselves before dumb idols,
while the air will ring with the horrid sounds of
idol music. No churches will be found for the re-
freshment of weary pilgrims ; no joyful assemblies
where saints can resort to unite in the reviving
exercises of social worship. All will be dark, every
thing will be dreary, and not a hope of worldly hap-
piness will be for a moment indulged. The prime
of life will be spent in an unhealthy country, a
burning region, amongst a people of strange langu-
age, at a returnless distance from my native land,
where I shall never more behold the friends of my
youth. Amid these discouragements, I often find
my sinking heart desponding. But this is not all.
Even while blest with a habitation in my own
country, I hear some of those friends, whom I
fondly love, accusing me of the love of novelty, of
an invincible attachment to a fellow-creature, of su-
perstition, and of wanting a great name. Wretched,
indeed, will be my future lot, if these motives bear
sway in my determination. Surrounded by so many
discouragements, I find consolation only in God !
6 None of these things move me, neither count I
my life dear unto me.1 A consciousness that this
is the path, which my Heavenly Father hath se-
lected for me, and an ardent desire for the salvation
of the benighted Heathen, constrains me to cry.
Here am I, Lord, send me where thou wilt. Daily
experience convinces me that the glittering toys of
life are not capable of conferring real happiness.
With my present feelings, I may enjoy as -much

MRS NEWELL* 97

happiness in India as in America. But my great
consolation is that life is short. However great
may be my trials, they will be soon over. H. I
feel that this is a wretched world. It is nearly six
years since, I humbly trust, I committed my all to
God, willing that he should dispose of me, as he saw
best. He has given me friends ; he has given me
many earthly comforts ; but he is now appointing
me trials, greater than I yet have known. But I
think I can say, * It is wett? Give me but humble
resignation to thy will, Oh my God, and I ask no
more. The presence of Immanuel will make a
mud-walled cottage, a foreign land, and savage as-
sociates, desirable. What but the light of the Re-
deemer's countenance can make me happy here ?
and what but that can delight my soul, in a far dis-
tant country ?

« For me remains nor time, nor space,

My country is in every place ;

I can be calm and free from care

On any shore, — since God is there.'

It seems a long time since we had the pleasure of
seeing you at Haverhill. Your time, undoubtedly,
passes away very pleasantly in Salem. May your
happiness be constantly increasing at the return of
each succeeding year. May you have that peace
of mind, that heart-felt joy, which is known only by
the decided followers of Jesus. This is pleasure
that knows no alloy, and which death can never de-
prive you of. May I meet you with all my dear
friends, in that world, where a wide sea can never
separate us. I hope to spend many happy hours
with you before I bid you a final farewell. I am
affectionately yours, HARRIET.

i

98 MEMOIRS OF'

1811.

Aug. 25. Wijth the light of this holy morning,
I desire to make a solemn surrender of myself to
God, humbly requesting him, to accept the worth-
less offering. I think I can say with Mr Newton,

•« Day of all the week the best,
Emblem of eternal rest.'

Aug. 26. What word can be more impressive
and weighty than ETERNITY ? How replete with
events, that deeply interest every intelligent crea-
ture ! How full of ideas too big for utterance ! And
can ETERNITY be mine ? If the word of Jehovah
be true, I shall surely inhabit Eternity, when this
short life is ended. Yes ; I feel that I have an im-
mortal part, which will continue the same when
time and nature fail. And shall it exist in glory ?
Oh, let me fly to Jesus, and make his arms my rest-
ing place. Then shall I rest securely, when the
heavens are rolled together .as a scroll, and the ele-
ments melt with fervent heat.

Sept. 1. Again have I been favoured with the
blessed privilege of communing with God at his
table. How sweetly calculated are these Gospel
ordinances to enliven the cold hearts of believers,
and to prepare them for the marriage supper of the
Lamb. I have renewedly given myself away to
God, in the presence of the holy angels, of the as-
sembly which convened at the house of prayer, .and
of that Being whose presence fills immensity ; whose
smile gives hope, whose frown, despair. How
solemn the transaction ! — Far from the happy land,
where salvation is proclaimed, my thoughts have

MRS NEWELL. 99

wandered over stormy seas, to regions whose inha-
bitants are sitting in the shadow of death. No light
of divine revelation beams on them. No sanctuaries
— no communion tables — no bread and wine to re-
mind them that a Saviour shed his blood on Calvary
for them ! Weep, O my soul, for the forlorn Hea-
then. Be astonished at the stupidity of Christians,
be astonished at thine own. Oh, thou blessed Re-
deemer, thou who didst commission thy disciples of
old to preach the Gospel to every creature, wilt
thou send forth labourers, make the wilderness a
fruitful field, and cause the desert to blossom like
the rose !

Seft. 3. « I'm but a stranger and a pilgrim here,

In these wild regions, wandering and forlorn,
Restless and sighing for my native home,
Longing to reach my weary space of life,
And to fulfil my task.'

Yes, my Redeemer ; I know by experience, that
this life is a tiresome round of vanities hourly re-
peated. All is empty. My thirsty soul longs for
the enjoyment of God in heaven, where the weary
and heavy laden find rest. How long, Oh my Fa-
ther, shall I wander in this dreary land ? When
shall I bid a final adieu to these scenes of guilt !

* Oh, haste the hour of joy, and sweet repose.'

How refreshing will heavenly rest be to my soul,
after a life of toil and hardship !

Sept. 7. ' Bless the Lord, O my soul, and for-
get not all his benefits.' Yes ; I will bless and
praise thy name, my God, my King, my everlasting
all. I will bless thee for temporal, I will bless thee
for spiritual favours. Thou hast ever been loading
me with thy benefits. « The Lord is my light and

100 MEMOIRS OP

iny salvation ; whom shall I fear ? The Lord is
the strength of my life ; of whom shall I be afraid ?
Lord, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain
to stand strong. I will extol thee, for thou hast
lifted me up ; and hast not made my foes to rejoice
over me. Thou hast brought up my soul from the
grave, thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go
down to the pit. Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of
his ; and give thanks at the remembrance of his ho-
liness : for his anger endureth but for a moment ;
in his favour is life; weeping may endure for a
night, but joy come th in the morning.'

Sept. 10. Depressed with guilt, and tired with
the vanities of this world, I have retired to my
chamber, to seek pleasure within. When blest with
a sense of Immanuers love, I find satisfaction in
writing, conversing, and thinking on divine things ;
but when Jesus frowns, all is midnight darkness.
No duties— no domestic employments — no earthly
pleasures can charm or delight my mind.

Sept. 12. * The time is short, I soon shall rise,
And bid farewell to weeping eyes,
And reach the heavenly shore.'

I have attempted this morning, to bring India, with
the parting scenes between, near at hand. Surely,
nothing but the sovereign power of God could have
led me to contemplate, with serenity and composure,
the painful scenes of a Missionary life ; and nothing
but his grace will support me, when farewells are
sounding around me. Oh, how can I think of that
hour ! But it is a glorious work, for which I am
making these great sacrifices : it is nothing less
than to assist in spreading the triumphs of the cross,

MRS NEWELL. 101

m foreign lands. Oh, could I become the instru-
ment of bringing one degraded female to Jesus, how
should I be repaid for every tear and every pain !
To make a female Indian acquainted with the way
of life, Oh what a blessing ! — my soul exults at the
thought !

Sept. 17. How sweet is this text, ' Be careful
for nothing ; but in every thing, by prayer and sup-
plication let your requests be made known unto God.1
When the difficulties of my future life depress me,
how often am I insensibly relieved and comforted by
this and similar invitations. How precious, how
exceedingly valuable is the word of God !

Sept. 20. Life like an empty vapour flies. Soon
will my mortal state be ended. The objects which
now occupy so large a portion of my thoughts, will
shortly lose their importance, and vanish as though
I saw them not. Vanity is stamped on every
earthly enjoyment. But pleasure without the least
alloy will be found in heaven.

TO A FRIEND,

Haverhitty Sept. 18 1 1.

FORGIVE, my dear M. the liberty I take in ad-
dressing you in this manner. From my first
acquaintance with you, I have felt deeply interested
for your happiness. Nothing but an affectionate
regard for you, would induce me to write to you on
a subject which the world will undoubtedly ridicule,
but which engages the attention and constitutes the
felicity of the holy inhabitants of heaven. This
subject is the religion of the Gospel — a subject

MEMOIRS OF

which is infinitely interesting to us both. You
have of late witnessed a scene, trying indeed, and
solemn as eternity. You have watched the sick-
bed, you have heard the expiring groans of your
beloved sister. You fondly hope that she was in-
terested in the covenant of redemption, and is now
perfectly happy in the enjoyment of her God in
heaven. When standing by the dying bed of this
dear sister, say, my friend, did you not ardently
wish for piety similar to her's ; for that faith which
could triumph over the horrors of a dying hour ?
Was the hope then cherished that you should meet
her in yonder world, when the trials of this short
life are over ? and did this hope support your sink-
ing spirits in the trying hour of separation ? She is
gone for ever; but we are still prisoners of hope.
Could we now draw back the covering of the tomb,
and listen to her language, how earnestly would she
beseech us to become reconciled to God, and devote
our lives wholly to his service. My dear M. these
Hre not idle dreams. If we reflect for a moment,
we feel conscious that there is an immortal principle
within, which will exist when time and nature dies.
This principle is corrupted by sin, and without the
sanctifying grace of God, we should be unhappy,
even though admitted to Heaven. Do but examine
the feelings of your heart one hour, and you cannot
for a moment doubt the truth of this assertion.
How important then that we should have this work
of grace begun in our hearts, before it is too late.
4 Now is the accepted time, now is the day of salva-
tion.' To-morrow our probation may be closed, and
we may be irrecoverably lost. M. my heart is full.

MRS NEWELL. 103

What inducements can I offer you to receive Jesus
into your heart, and willingly sacrifice your all for
him ? Oh ! think of the worth of the soul, the price
paid to redeem it, the love of Immanuel, your obli-
gations to live to him, the joys prepared for the
righteous ; — and Oh, think of the torments in re-
serve for the finally impenitent, and be induced to
flee from the wrath to come. If nothing in Provi-
dence prevents, before the return of another autumn,
Harriet will be a stranger in a strange land. I go,
my friend, where Heathens dwell, far from the
companions of my playful years, far from the dear
land of my nativity. My contemplated residence
will be, not among the refined and cultivated, but
among females degraded and uncivilized, who have
never heard of the religion of Jesus. How would
it gladden my sad heart, in the trying hour of my
departure, could I but leave a dear circle of females
of my own age, engaged for God, and eminent for
their usefulness in Haverhill. Well, I hope to find
a circle of Hindoo sisters in India, interested in that
religion which many of my companions reject, though,
blest with innumerable privileges. But my friend
M. will not treat with indifference this, religion. O
no ! I will cherish the fond hope, that she will re-
nounce the world, become a follower of Immanuel,
and be unwearied in her exertions to spread the
triumphs of the cross through the world. I must
leave you my dear M. with God. May you be-
come a living witness for him ! When our journey
through this barren wilderness is ended, may we
meet in heaven !

HARRIET.

104 MEMOIRS OF

1811.

Oct. 10. I have this day entered upon my nine-
teenth year. Oh, how great the goodness of God
which has followed me, through the last twelve
months ! And shall I be wholly destitute of grati-
tude ? O no ! let me this year, if my life should be
spared, become a living witness for the truth, as it
is in Jesus. How great a change has the last year
made in my views and prospects for life ! Another
year will probably affect, not merely my prospects,
but my situation. Should my expectations be rea-
lized, my dwelling will be far from the dear land of
my nativity, and from beloved friends, whose so-
ciety rendered the morning of my life cheerful and
serene. In distant India, every earthly prospect
will be dreary.

* But even there, content can spread a charm,
Redress the clime, and all its rage disarm.'

Oct. 13. How important is it, that I should be
in a peculiar manner devoted to God, and dead to
the world. I shall need a large supply of the
graces of the Gospel, and of the consolations of re-
ligion, to support me amid the numberless trials of
a Missionary life. When dangers stand thick
around, and the world is utterly incapable of afford-
ing me the least solid comfort — what will sustain
me, but entire confidence in God, as my shield, my
only sure defence ? Oh, my Father ! let a sense of
thy love to my soul, influence me to yield implicit
obedience to thy commands ; and while this love is
constraining me to walk in the path which thou hast
selected for me, may thy grace be sufficient for me—-
as my day is, so may my strength be.

MRS NEWELL. 105

Oct. 20. « Soon I hope — I feel, and am assured,

That I shall lay my head — my weary, aching head,

On its last rest ; and on my lowly bed,

The grass green sod will flourish sweetly/ -

The perusal of the life, letters and poems of
Henry Kirke White, has been productive of much
satisfaction. While I have respected him for his
learning and superior talents, I have ardently wished
for a share of that piety, which shone so conspicu-
ously in his life, and which rendered his character
so interesting and lovely. His fc weary aching
head," is now resting in the silent tomb. Henry
sleeps, to ~ake no more : but his spirit, uneonfined5
is exploring the unseen world ! O that his example
may affect my heart !

TO MISS S. H. ANDOVER.

Haverhitt, Oct. 20, 1811.

WILL my dear Miss H. pardon this seeming ne-
glect, when I assure her it has not been intentional ?
Did you but know how numerous have been my
engagements since I left Andover, I feel confident
that you would not indulge one hard thought. I
have thought much of you, and have often longed
to see you. The kindness you showed me, while
with you, greatly endeared you to my heart. I hope
I shall ever recollect with gratitude the unmerited
favours, which you, Mr and Mrs W. and my other
friends, conferred upon me while in Andover.

This day has been spent in melancholy dejection
and sorrow of heart. The trials of a Missionary
life, united with my entire unfitness for the under-
taking, and the fear of being under the influence of

106 MEMOIRS OF

improper motives, have produced distress. But die
return of evening has dissipated the gloom, and I
have been led to rejoice in God, and willingly to
surrender my eternal all to him. O my friend ! is
there not a balm in Gilead? is there not an all-
powerful Physician there ? Who can doubt of the
abilities and willingness of Jesus, to lead his deal-
children along the green pastures, and beside the
still waters? His sacred presence will cause the
sinking heart to rejoice, and diffuse gladness around.
Rightly is he styled Immanuel. Let us fly imme-
diately to this hiding-place — this covert from the
storm and tempest. In Jesus we are safe, though
earth and hell combine against us. What are the
trials, what the agonies attendant on this pilgrimage
state ! In Jesus there is a fulness sufficient to sup-
ply our every want, healing for every wound, and a
cordial for every fear.

With the deepest interest I have lately read Bu-
chanan's Researches. You have probably read it.
Has it not inspired you with an ardent Missionary
spirit? Can it be possible that Christians, after
perusing this invaluable book, can help feeling a
deep concern for the salvation of the Heathen, and
a strong desire for the promulgation of the Gospel
throughout the world ? How precious, how exceed-
ingly valuable is tjie word of God ! How consola-
tory to the believer, to hear those who were once
prostrating themselves before dumb idols, now ex-
claim with eagerness, ' We want not bread, we
want not money, we want the Word of God.' A
FAMINE FOR BIBLES — how sweet, and yet how
painful the expression ! Surely this mil lead us to

MRS NEWELL. 107

Estimate our glorious privileges in this Christian
land. Possessed of every means of learning the
character of God, and the way of salvation by a
Redeemer, how can we complain ? If ever the re-
ligion of the cross has excited within us holy desires,
Oh let us not forget the destitute millions of Asia.
God will be inquired of by his people to do great
things for the Heathen world. How importunate
then should we be at the throne of grace ; and none
ever cried to God in vain.

Dear Miss H. I could write an hour longer, but
other engagements prevent. We long to see you ;
long to hear from you again. Do write us often.
Mamma sends much love; intends writing you
soon ; thanks you for your last letter. Remember
me affectionately to dear Mr and Mrs W. ; likewise
to Mr L. and Mr M. I am, dear Miss H. your
affectionate HARRIET.

1811.

Oct. 25. How strong are the ties of natural af-
fection ! Will distance or time ever conquer the
attachment which now unites my heart so closely to
my mother, the dear guardian of my youth ; and
to my beloved brothers and sisters ? Oh no ; though
confined to a foreign country, where a parent's voice
will no more gladden my melancholy heart, still
shall that love, which is stronger than death, dwell
within, and often waft a sincere prayer to Heaven
for blessings unnumbered upon her. Long shall
remembrance dwell on scenes past in the dear circle
of Haverhill friends.

108 MEMOIRS OF

Nov. 4. It is midnight. My wavering mind
would fain dwell on some mournful subject. I
weep ; then sing some melancholy air, to pass away
the lingering moments. What would my dear mo-
ther say, to see her Harriet thus involved in gloom ?
But why do I indulge these painful feelings ? Is it
because my Father is unkind, and will not hear a
suppliant's cries? Is he not willing to direct my
wandering steps ; to guide my feet in the paths of
peace ? Oh yes ; his ear is ever open to the prayer
of the fatherless. Let me then go to him ; tell him
all my griefs, and ask of him a calm and clear con-
viction of duty.

« Why sinks my weak desponding mind,
Why heaves my soul, this heavy sigh V
Can Sovereign goodness be unkind,
Am I not safe, if God be nigh ?'

Nov. 10, The rising sun witnesses for my hea-
venly Father that he is good. Oh yes ! his cha-
racter is infinitely lovely — his attributes are perfect.
I behold his goodness in the works of creation and
providence. But the beauty of his character shines
most conspicuously in the plan of salvation. In the
Redeemer, beauty and worth are combined ; and
shall my heart remain unaffected, amidst such an
endless variety of witnesses of the glory of God?
Shall / be silent, for whom the Son of God, on
Calvary, bled and died ?

Here the diary, from which the foregoing extracts
have been made, closes. But amid the various en-
gagements, which occupied the time of Mrs Newell,

MRS NEWELL. 109

and the many interesting subjects of her contempla-
tion, she continued a frequent correspondence with
her friends. The number of letters which she
wrote, from the age of thirteen to her death, was re-
markable.

TO MISS R. F. OF ANDOVER.

ffaverhiU, Nov. 10, 1811.

How shall I sufficiently thank my dear Miss F
for her affectionate communication, received a short
time since by Mr Judson ? This was a favour which
I had long wished for, but which I had ever consi-
dered an unmerited one.

I have this day visited the sanctuary of the Most
High. While listening to the joyful sound of the
Gospel, my thoughts were insensibly led to the for*
lorn and destitute state of the Heathen, who are
unacquainted with Bibles, Churches, and Sabbaths*
I thought of the glorious privileges, which the in-
habitants of this my Christian country enjoy ; and
the thought afforded indescribable pleasure. I re-
flected on the many millions of Asia and Africa ;
and the reflection was full of anguish and sympathy*
Oh my friend, when will the day dawn, and the
day-star arise in Pagan lands, where Moloch reigns,
' besmeared with blood of human sacrifice, and pa-
rents'* tears.' Oh ! when will the religion of Jesus,
which has irradiated our benighted souls, be pro-
mulgated throughout the world ? When will Chris-
tians feel more concerned for the salvation of the
Heathen ; and when will the heralds of the Gospel
feel willing to sacrifice the soft delights and elegan-
K

110 MEMOIRS OF

cies of life, and visit the far distant shores, where
Heathen strangers dwell ? Oh ! when will those
who have an interest at the mercy-seat, intercede for
the wretched Heathen .'

But my dear Miss F. though I sometimes feel
deeply and tenderly interested for the Heathen, and
even feel willing to contribute my little aid in the
work of a mission ; yet the trials of such a life often
produce a melancholy dejection, which nothing but
divine grace can remove. Often does my imagina-
tion paint, in glowing colours, the last sad scene of
my departure from the land of my nativity. A wi-
dowed mother's heart with anguish wrung, the tears
of sorrow flowing from the eyes of brothers and sis-
ters dear, while the last farewell is pronounced —
this is a scene affecting indeed. But this is only
the commencement of a life replete with trials.
Should my life be protracted, my future residence
will be far distant from my native country, in a land
of strangers, who are unacquainted with the feelings
of friendship and humanity,

But I will no longer dwell on these sad subjects.
I will look to God ; from him is all my aid. He
can support his children in the darkest hour, and
cause their sinking hearts to rejoice. He has
pledged his word, that his grace shall be sufficient
for them, and that as their day is, so shall their
strength be. How consoling the reflection, that we
are in the hands of God ! He can do nothing
wrong with us : but if we are members of his family,
all things will continually work for our good. Trials
will wean us from this alluring world, and prepare
us for that reet which is reserved for the righteous.

MRS NEWELL. Ill

And how sweet will that rest be, after a life of toil
and suffering. Oh ! how does the anticipation of
future bliss, sweeten the bitter cup of life. My
friend, there is a world, beyond these rolling spheres,
where adieus and farewells are unknown. There I
hope to meet you with all the ransomed of Israel,
and never more experience a painful separation.

« The thoughts of such amazing bliss,
Should constant joys create.'

H A.

TO MISS F. W. OF BEVERLY.

Havcrhill, Dec. 13, 1811.

I HAVE long been wishing for a favourable oppor-
tunity to return my thanks to my dear Miss W. for
her affectionate letter received last June. A mul-
tiplicity of avocations, which could not possibly be
dispensed with, have deprived me of this pleasure
till now. But though my friends have been ne-
glected, they have not been forgotten. Oh no '
dear to my heart are the friends of Immanuel ; par-
ticularly those with whom I have walked to the
house of God in company, and with whom I have
taken sweet counsel about the things which imme-
diately concern Zion, the city of our God. These
dear Christian friends, will retain a lasting and af-
fectionate remembrance in my heart, even though
stormy oceans should separate me from them.
There is a world, my sister, beyond this mortal
state, where souls, cemented in one common union,
will dwell together, and never more be separated,
Does not your heart burn within you, when in

*

MEMOIRS OF

humble anticipation of future blessedness, you en-
gage in the delightful service of your covenant Re-
deemer ? When your spirit sinks within you, and
all terrestrial objects lose their power to please, can
you not say,

My journey here,

Though it be darksome, joyless and forlorn,
Is yet but short ; and soon my weary feet,
Shall greet the peaceful inn of lasting rest :
The toils of this short life will soon be over.

Yes, my friend, we soon shall bid an eternal fare-
well to this passing world, and if interested in the
covenant, we shall find the rest which remaineth for
the people of God. I thank you sincerely for the
affectionate interest you have taken in my future
prospect in life. I feel encouraged to hope that not
only your good wishes, but fervent prayers will
attend my contemplated undertaking, I know that
the earnest supplications of the faithful will avail
with God : plead then, my friend, with Jesus on
my behalf. The path of duty is the only way to
happiness. I love to tread the path which my Fa-
ther points out for me, though it is replete with
privations and hardships. Who, my dear Miss W.
that has felt of the love of Jesus, the worth of souls,
and the value of the gospel, would refuse to lend
their little aid in propagating the religion of the
Cross among the wretched Heathen, when presented
with a favourable opportunity ? However great the
discouragements attending a Missionary life, yet
Jesus has promised to be with those who enter upon
it with a right disposition, even to the end of the
world. When will the day dawn, and the day-star

MRS NEWELL.

arise in Heathen lands ? Oh ! when will the stand-
ard of the Cross be erected, and all nations hear of
the glad tidings of Salvation ? When will the mil-
lennial state commence, and the lands which have
long lain in darkness, be irradiated by the calm
sunshine of the Gospel ? When will the populous
regions of Asia and Africa, unite with this our
Christian country in one general song of praise to
God? Though darkness and error now prevail,
faith looks over these mountains, and beholds with
transport, the dawning of the Sun of Righteousness,
the reign of peace and love.

The clock strikes twelve ; I must leave you my
friend, for tired nature requires repose. Pray often
for me. Write me immediately upon receiving this
hasty letter. Affectionately yours,

HARRIET.

TO MISS R. F. AXDOVER.

Haverhill, Dec. 29, 1611.

AN hour this sacred evening, the commencement
of another Sabbath, shall be cordially devoted to my
dear Miss F. Alone and pensive, how can the
moments glide more pleasantly away, than in writ-
ing to a friend whose name excites many endearing
sensations, and whom, from my first introduction to
her, I have sincerely loved. Similarity of sentiment
will produce an indissoluble union of hearts. How
strong are the ties which unite the members of
Christ's family ? While dwelling in this the house
of their pilgrimage, they are subject to the same
trials and privations ; and the same hope encourages

MEMOIRS OF

them to look forward to the happy hour of their re-
lease, when their weary souls shall rest sweetly in
the bosom of their God. Such I would fondly hope,
is the nature of that union which so strongly ce-
ments ray heart to Miss F. Oh ! that when ' the
long Sabbath of the tomb is past,' our united souls
may be safely anchored in the fair haven of eternal
security, where friendship will be perfected.

I have thought much of you since the reception
of your kind letter. I hope that divine grace has
dissipated your doubts, and that you are now enjoy-
ing all holy consolation. May you be made emi-
nently holy and useful, live near to God, and be
favoured with those rich communications of his love,
which he often bestows upon his children.

I have been reading this afternoon, some account
of the superstitions of the wretched inhabitants of
Asia. How void of compassion must be that heart
which feels not for the woes of its fellow-mortals !
When, my friend, will the day dawn and the day-
star arise in those lands, where the prince of dark-
ness has so long dwelt ?

The hour is hastening, when I must bid an eter-
nal farewell to all that is dear in the land of my na-
tivity, cross the boisterous ocean, and become an
exile in a foreign land. I must relinquish for ever
the friends of my bosom, whose society has rendered
pleasant the morning of life, and select for my com-
panions the uncivilized Heathen of Hindostan. I
shall shortly enter upon a life of privations and
hardships. ' All the sad variety of grieF will pro-
bably be mine to share. Perhaps no cordial, sym-
pathizing friend will stand near my dying bed, to

MRS XEWELL.

administer consolation to my departing spirit, to
wipe the falling tear, the cold sweat away, to close
my eyes, or to shed a tear upon my worthless ashes.
But shall the contemplation of these adverse scenes,
tempt me to leave the path selected by my Heavenly
Father ? Oh no ! ' I can do all things through
Christ, who strengthened me.' This consideration
exhilarates my sinking soul, and diffuses an ardour
within, which I would not relinquish for all the
splendours of this world.

You, my dear Miss F. will not forget to intercede
with Jesus in my behalf. You will pray for the
wretched Heathen in India; this will lead your
thoughts to those who have devoted their lives to the
work of spreading the Gospel among them. You
will feel interested in their exertions ; and as often
as the sun rises in the East, you will invoke for them
the blessing and protection of the* universal Parent.

When shall I be favoured with another interview
with you ? Will you not visit me this winter ? I
need not assure you, that it would be a source of
the highest gratification. Preparations for a long
voyage, together with visiting friends, have prevented
my answering your letter before. Do write me
again soon ; recollect that I have a special claim on
your indulgence. Affectionately yours,

HARRIET.

TO MISS M. T. OF NEWBURY.

Boston, Jan. 24, 1812.

NEITHER distance nor time has been able to
efface from my mind the recollection of that affec-

J16 MEMOIRS OF

tion, which I once so sincerely professed to feel for
you, my beloved M. My pen would not thus long
have lain inactive, had inclination been consulted.
No ; be assured, that nothing less than important,
indispensable engagements has prevented me from
acknowledging the receipt of your kind letter, which
afforded me much pleasure. I hear from my friend
N. that you have been indisposed of late. Such, my
sister, is the lot of rebel man. Our world is doomed
to agonize in pain and sickness, the just desert of
sin. Pilgrims and strangers in a dry and thirsty
land, where no living waters flow, we, though so
young, feel the heavy effects of the first transgres-
sion. A composed and tranquil mind, a heart dis-
posed cheerfully to acquiesce in the dispensations of
heaven, however trying, is desirable indeed. But
this divine resignation is the gift of the Spirit.
May you be favoured with a disposition to rejoice
in God, not only when the calm sunshine of pros-
perity illumines your dwelling, but also when the
dreary tempests of affliction beat upon you. The
night of sorrow, though dark, is yet but short, if
we are the children of the Most High. As Kirke
White beautifully expresses the sentiment, ' Our
weary feet shall ere long greet the peaceful inn of
lasting rest."* How sweet will be the rest enjoyed
in that peaceful inn, after a life of repeated toil and
sufferings for Christ ! Let this idea stimulate us
to a life of exemplary piety.

If ever we are favoured with intimate communion
with God, and feel the value of that Gospel which
bringeth life and salvation, let us compassionate the
forlorn Heathen. Let our souls weep for those who

MRS NEWELL. 117

are unacquainted with the glad tidings : who spend
their wretched lives in worshipping dumb idols ;
whose lips have never been vocal with redeeming
love. Oh, when will the radiant star in the East,
direct them to Bethlehem ! Oh when will the high
praises of Immanuel resound from the lips of the
Hindoo in Asia, the Hottentot of Africa, and the
inhospitable Indian of our dear native America !

The glorious morn of the Millennium hastens.
With an eye of faith we pass the mountains, that
now obstruct the universal spread of the Gospel,
and behold with joy unspeakable, the beginning of
a cloudless day, the ' reign of peace and love.' Shall
we, my ever dear M. who fondly hope that we are
the lambs of Jesus'* flock, be content to live indolent,
inactive lives, and not assist in the great revolution
about to be effected in this world of sin ? Oh no ;
we will not let it be said, at the great day, that one
soul for whom the Son of God became incarnate,
for whom he groaned away a dying life, has perished
through our neglect. Let worldly ease be sacrificed ;
let a life of self-denial and hardships be welcome to us,
if the cause of God may thereby be most promoted,
and sinners most likely to be saved from destruction.

Notwithstanding all the encouragements which
the Scriptures afford to those who leave all things
for God, and devote their lives to his service, still
my heart often recoils at the evils of a missionary
life. The idea of taking a last farewell of friends,
and country, and all that is dear on earth, (a few
friends only excepted) is exceedingly trying. Yes,
my friend ; Harriet will shortly be an exile in a
foreign country, a stranger in a strange land. But

118 MEMOIRS OF

it is for God that I sacrifice all the comforts of a
civilized life. This comforts me ; this is my hope,
this my only consolation. Will M. think of me,
will she pray for me, when stormy oceans separate
us ? Will imagination ever waft her to the floating
prison or the Indian huty where she, who was once
honoured with the endearing appellation of friend,
resides ? May we meet in heaven, where friends
will no more be called to endure a painful separa-
tion ! May peace and happiness long be inmates of
M.'s breast ! May she increase in the enjoyment of
her God, as days and years increase ! How can I
wish her more substantial bliss ? Shall I not be
favoured with one more undisturbed interview with
you ? Shall I not give you a parting kiss ? Shall I
not say, Farewell? Why may I not spend the
little remnant of my days with you? Must I be
separated ? But enough — my heart is full ; gladly
would I fill my sheet with ardent expressions of
lasting friendship.

* But, hush, my fond heart, hush, —
There is a shore of better promise ;
And I hope at last, we two shall meet
In Christ to part no more.'

A few more letters will probably close our corres-
pondence for ever. Will you write me immediately ?
M. will gratify me if she loves me. Will you not
visit Haverhill this winter ? I long to see you. I
cannot tell you how much I regretted the loss of
your society last summer. I have since been fa-
voured with an introduction to your dear Miss G.
A lovely girl. Affectionately yours,

HARRIET.

MRS NEWELL. 119

TO MISS S. H. ANDOVER.

Haver/till, Feb. 3, 1812.

THE long expected hour is at length arrived, and
I am called to bid an eternal adieu to the dear land
of my nativity, and enter upon a life replete with
crosses, privations, and hardships. The conflicting
emotions which rend my heart, imagination will
point out to my dear Miss H. better than my pen
can describe them. But still peace reigns many an
hour within. Consolations are mine, more valuable
than ten thousand worlds. My Saviour, my Sanc-
tifier, my Redeemer, is still lovely ; his comforts
will delight my soul. Think of Harriet, when
crossing the stormy ocean — think of her, when wan-
dering over Hindostan's sultry plains. Farewell,
my friend, a last, a long farewell.

May we meet in yonder world, * where adieus
and farewells are a sound unknown f

Give dear Mrs W. a parting kiss from Harriet.

Write to and pray often for HARRIET.

TO MISS S. B. OF HAVERHILL.

Havtrhill, Feb. 1812.

ACCEPT, my ever dear Sarah, the last tribute of
heart-felt affection from your affectionate Harriet,
which you will ever receive. The hour of my de-
parture hastens ; when another rising sun illumines
the Eastern horizon, I shall bid a last farewell to a
beloved widowed mother, brothers and sisters dear,
and the circle of Haverhill friends. With a scene
so replete, with sorrow just at hand, how can I be

120 MEMOIRS OF

otherwise than solemn as eternity ! The motives
which first induced me to determine upon devoting
my life to the services of GOD in distant India^
now console my sinking spirits. Oh, how valuable,
how exceedingly precious, are the promises of the
gospel !

Eighteen years of my life have been spent in
tranquillity and peace. But those scenes so full of
happiness, are departed. They are gone ' with the
years beyond the flood,' no more to return. A
painful succession of joyless days will succeed ;
trials, numberless and severe, will be mine to share.
Home, that dearest sweetest spot, — friends whose
society has rendered the morn of life pleasant, must
be left for ever ! The stormy ocean must be crossed ;
and an Indian cottage in a sultry clime, must
shortly contain all that is Harriet. Perhaps no
sympathizing friend will stand near my dying bed,
to wipe the falling tear, to administer consolation,
or to entomb my worthless ashes when my immortal
spirit quits this earthly tabernacle.

But why indulge these melancholy sensations?
Is it not for Jesus that I make these sacrifices — and
will He not support me by his grace ? Oh, yes, my
heart replies, he will.

* The sultry climes of India then I'll choose ;
There will I toil, and sinners' bonds unloose ;
There will I live, and draw my latest breath ;
And, in my Jesus' service, meet a stingless death."

My friend, there is a rest for the weary pilgrim in
yonder world. Shall we meet there, ' when the long
Sabbath of the tomb is past ?'

Sarah, my much loved friend, farewell. Fare-

MRS NEWELL. 121

well, perhaps for ever. Though trackless forests
separate, though oceans roll between, Oh, forget not

HARRIET.

These were the last letters written by Mrs
NEWELL, before her departure from America. On
the 6th of Feb. 181 2, when the Missionaries were
ordained at Salem, Mrs NEWELL was present. On
that interesting occasion, she manifested remarkable
tranquillity and resolution. Feb. 19, 1812, with
Mr Newell, and Mr and Mrs Judson, she sailed
from Salem, and took leave for ever of her native
land, amidst the prayers and benedictions of mul-
titudes.

The following diary, written on her passage to
India, and addressed to her mother, was lately
received.

1812.

March 9. To you, my beloved mother, shall
these pages be cheerfully dedicated. If they aiford
you amusement in a solitary hour, if they are in-
strumental in dissipating one anxious sensation
from your heart, I shall be doubly rewarded for
writing. Whatever will gratify a mother so valuable
as mine, shall here be recorded, however uninterest-
ing it might be to a stranger. The first week after
our embarkation I was confined to my bed with
sea-sickness. This was a gloomy week. But my
spirits were not so much depressed, as I once ex-
pected they would be. The attendants were oblig*.
ing, and I had every convenience which I could

L

MEMOIRS OF

wish on board a vessel. Feb. 24, the vessel sprung
a leak. We were in the greatest danger of sinking
during the night. The men laboured almost con-
stantly at the pump. Capt. H. thought it best to
alter the course of the Caravan, and make directly
for St Jago. The wind changed in the morning.
In a clay or two the leak was providentially disco-
vered, and prevented from doing any further injury.
Though much fatigued, sleep departed from me.
It was indeed an interesting night. Though a
sudden exit from life appeared more solemn than
ever before, yet I felt a sweet composure in confid-
ing in God, and in leaving the disposal of my life
with him.

We have no family worship, which we consider a
great affliction. Sabbath forenoon Mr N. or brother
J. read a sermon and perform the other exercises of
worship in the cabin. The captain and officers
favour us with their attendance. I have found
much enjoyment at these seasons. I often think
on my American friends, who are blessed with the
privilege of attending statedly on the means of
grace. My thoughts were particularly fixed on my
brethren and sisters the first Sabbath in March. I
thought that our dear pastor would not forget to
intercede with God for an absent sister, while sitting
at the communion table, where I have often had a
scat. I shall devote much of my time to reading
while on the water. There is but little variety in a
sea life. I have noticed with plcasurt that many
little articles, which I accidentally brought with me,
have contributed much to my comfort.

The vessel is very damp, and the cabin collects

MRS NEWELL.

some dirt, which renders it necessary that I should
frequently change my clothes, in order to appear
decent. I think I shall have clothes enough for
the voyage, by taking a little care. We have had
contrary winds and calms for ten days past, which
will make our voyage longer. How can it be that
I wish for those winds that waft me farther from my
dear mother, and all that I have in a much loved
native country. Surely this wish does not originate
from want of affection for my friends.

March 10. We have prayers regularly every
evening in brother J.'s room, which is larger and
more convenient than ours. We have met another,
brig, bound to America, as we imagine, but on ac-
count of contrary winds, which renders it difficult to
come near enough to speak with her, she has pro-
ceeded on her passage. This is the second vessel
which we have seen at a distance, going direct to
America ; but I have not been favoured with the
privilege of sending letters to you. Oh, how ar-
dently do I long to tell you, just how I am at
present situated, and that I am happy and contented.
We find there is great danger of speaking with any
vessel, lest it should prove to be a French privateer.
It is very difficult writing to-day, on account of the
constant motion of the vesseL The wind is favour-
able ; we go nearly seven miles an hour.

March 12. A heavy sea to-day ; the waves
have repeatedly broken on deck, and rushed with
violence down the gang-way into the cabin. Our
room has not yet been wet.

March 14. I have been on deck, and seen the
sailors take a turtle. They went out in a boat two

124 MEMOIRS OF

or three miles, and took it by surprise, with their
hands It weighs about twenty pounds. We have
learned how to make yeast. We have occasionally
flour-bread, nuts, apple-puddings, apple-pies, &c.
We have baked and stewed beans, twice a-week,
which you know are favourite dishes of mine, also
fowl, ham, &c. We drink tamarind- water, porter,
eyder, &c. I have been agreeably disappointed re-
specting our manner of living at sea, though we are
not free from inconveniences, by any means.

March 16. Yesterday morning, religious exer-
cises were performed as usual in the cabin. Several
pages in Law's Serious Call read. My thoughts
dwell on home, and my much-loved country, more
intensely on the Sabbath, than on any other day.
The sun rises much earlier here than in Haverhill.
At one I think you are going to church. Dined on
turtle soup yesterday ; do not like it. Saw a flying-
fish to-day ; breakfasted upon it. Several gales of
wind last evening. I do not know why it is that I
do not suffer more from fear than I do. Cousin J.
will tell you how dreary every thing appears, in a
dark evening, when the wind blows hard, and the
vessel seems to be on the point of turning over.
But we have been highly favoured, the weather hae
generally been remarkably pleasant.

March 17. I have just seen a third vessel,
bound, as we have every reason to think, to dear
America, We came so near her as to see the men
walking on deck : But Capt. H. received particular
orders to speak with no vessel on the passage. I
have a great desire to send you, my dear mother,
some communication. But this gratification I must

MRS NEWELL.

give up. Five weeks yesterday, since I bid you
adieu. Oh that you may never, for one moment,
regret that you gave me up, to assist in so great, so
glorious a work. I want more faith, more spiritu-
ality, more engagedness, in so good a cause. Pos-
sessed of these blessings, I shall be happy, while
crossing the tempestuous ocean, and when I become
an inhabitant of Pagan Asia.

March 18. I am sometimes almost sick for the
want of exercise. I walk fast on the deck three times
a- day, which is the only exercise I take. We have
seen a number of flying-fishes to-day, which look
very pretty. We are now more than 3000 miles
from home. I shall ever find a melancholy pleasure
in calling my mother's house in Haverhill, my home,
though the Atlantic floods roll between. Long
may the best of Heaven's blessings rest upon the
dwelling, where I have spent my playful years in
peace, and where in riper age I have known what
tranquillity is, by happy experience : Long may my
beloved mother, and dear brothers and sisters, enjoy
the blessing of my heavenly Father, and be strangers
to affliction and woe.

March 19. It is excessively warm to-day. We
are now in the torrid Zone ; while my dear mother,
brothers, and sisters, are probably shivering over a
large fire, I am sitting with the window and door
open, covered with perspiration. Brother and sister
Judson are asleep OH one bed, Mr N, lounging on
another, while I am writing. You know not how
much I think of you all, how ardently I desire to
hear from you, and see you. My time passes more

126 MEMOIRS OF

pleasantly than ever I anticipated. I read, and
sew, and converse at intervals; rise early in the
morning, retire early at night. I find Mr Newell
to be every thing 1 could wish for. He not only
acts the part of a kind, affectionate friend, but like-
wise that of a careful, tender physician.

March 20. I have been into a bath of salt water
this evening, which has refreshed me much. I
think I shall bathe regularly every other day. I
often think of many ways in which I could have
contributed to your comfort and happiness, and that
of my other dear friends, while with you. My
mother, my dear mother, can you, will you forgive
me for causing you so much pain, as I surely have
done in the course of my life, and for making you so
few returns for the unwearied care and kindness you
have ever shown me. I think that if your heart is
fixed, trusting in God, you will find consolation,
when thinking of my present situation. You will
be unspeakably happy in commending me to God,
and the word of his grace, and praying for my wel-
fare in Heathen lands.

March 21. A large porpoise was taken yester-
day. Cousin J. will describe this curious fish to
you. I have had a return of my old complaint, the
nervous head-ache. It has attended me for two or
three days very severely. I think it is in some
measure owing to the confined air of our lodging
room. This is one of the greatest inconveniencies
to which we are subjected. When I awake these
extremely hot mornings, I often think of our large
cool chambers. The heat is not all. It is also at-

MRS NEWELL. 127

tended with a disagreeable smell, occasioned by the-
bilge water which is pumped out of the ship. But
this is a light trial.

March 22. I have spent a quarter part of this
holy day on deck, reading, singing, conversing, &c.
I hope this has been a profitable and joyful Sabbath
to my dear mother.

Oh, how ardently do I long again to frequent the
courts of my God, and hear from his ambassadors
the joyful sound of the glorious gospel ! But though
in a humbler manner, yet I trust we find his grace
displayed towards us while meeting for his worship.
The weather is hot in the extreme ; we are within a
few days sail of the line. I have not found a stove
necessary more than once or twice since I left the
harbour. The weather has been much warmer than
I anticipated. But we keep pretty comfortable in
the air.

March 23. I cannot yet drink coffee or tea
without milk. We have water porridge night arid
morning, and sometimes chocolate, which is very
good. We have every necessary which is possible
on the ocean. I am thankful I feel no disposition
to complain. I have for the most part of the tune
since we sailed, enjoyed a great degree of real hap-
piness. The everlasting God is my refuge.

March 24. Mr Newell often regrets that he had
no more time to spend with you previous to our de-
parture. He often says, ' Harriet, how I do long
to see your dear mother P We often look the way
where Captain H. tells us Haverhill lies. But alas !
a vast ocean and the blue sky are all we can see.
But there is a land, my dear mother, where stormy

MEMOIRS OF

seas cannot divide the friends of Jesus. There I
hope to meet you and all my beloved friends, to
whom, on earth, I have bid adieu. Oh that, when
the followers of the Lamb are collected from the
East and West, from the North and South, Harriet,
an exile, in a distant land, with her mother, father,
brothers, and sisters, may be united in the family of
the M ost High in heaven !.

March 25. The weather is about as warm as
the extreme hot weather in America, last summer.
Mamma may possibly be called to fit out another
daughter for India. If so, I think some improve-
ment might be made upon her plan. We all feel
the want of more thin clothes. We are told, we
shall not be likely to suffer more from the heat in Ben-
gal, than we do now. We do not go more than a
mile an hour. Are within 1 60 miles of the Equator.
This is dear little Emily's birth-day. Sweet child !
will she ever forget her absent sister, Harriet, whom
once she loved ? Oh no ! I will not for one mo-
ment indulge the thought. I cannot bear to think
of losing a place in the remembrance of dear friends.

March 26. My attachment to the world has
greatly lessened since I left my country, and with
it all the honours, pleasures, and riches of life.
Yes, mamma, I feel this morning like a pilgrim and
a traveller in a dry and thirsty land, where no water
is Heaven is my home; there, I trust, my weary
soul will sweetly rest, after a tempestuous voyage
across the ocean of life. 1 love to think of what I
shall shortly be, when I have finished my heavenly
Father's work on earth. How sweet the thoughts
4?f glory, while I wander here in this waste wilder-

MRS NKWELL. 129

ness ! I still contemplate the path into which I
have entered with pleasure, although replete with
trials, under which, nothing but sovereign grace can
support me. I have at times the most ardent desires
to see you, and my other dear friends. These de-
sires, for a moment, are almost insupportable. But
when I think seriously of the object of my under-
taking, and the motives which first induced me to
give up all, and enter upon it, I enjoy a sweet se-
renity of mind, a satisfaction which the heaviest
trials cannot destroy. The sacrifices which I have
made are great indeed ; but the light of ImmanuePs
countenance can enliven every dreary scene, and
make the path of duty pleasant. Should I at some
future period be destitute of one sympathizing friend,
in a foreign sickly clime, I shall have nothing to
fear. When earthly friends forsake me, then ' the
Lord will take me up.' No anticipated trials ought
to make me anxious ; for I know that I can do and
suffer all things, ' through Christ, who strengthen,
eth me.' In his hands I leave the direction of
every event, knowing that he who is infinitely wise
and good, can do no wrong.

March 29. We crossed the Equator last night.
The weather still continues excessively hot. Heavy
gales of wind, and repeated showers of rain, render-
ing it necessary for the captain and officers to be on
deck, we had no religious exercises in the cabin.

March 31. It is six weeks, this evening, since
we came on board the Caravan. How rapidly have
the weeks glided away. Thus, my dear mamma,
will this short life pass. Why then do our thoughts
dwell so much upon a short separation, when there

130 MEMOIRS OF

is a world, where the friends of Jesus will never
part more ?

April 1. Three sharks caught to-day. In their
frightful appearance they far exceeded the descrip-
tion I have often heard given of them.

April 7. The weather grows colder as we draw
nearer the Cape. Some Cape birds are seen flying
on the water, called Albatrosses. We have had a
little piece of the gangway taken into our room,
which renders it much more pleasant and cool.
We can now sit together and read. Mr J. and N.^s
room is large and convenient.

May 1. Again, my ever dear mother, I devote
a few leisure moments to you, and my beloved bro-
thers and sisters. The winds and the waves are
bearing us rapidly away from America. I care not
how soon we reach Calcutta, and are placed in a
still room, with a bowl of milk, and a loaf of Indian
bread. I can hardly think of this simple fare with-
out exclaiming, Oh, what a luxury ! I have been
so weary of the excessive rocking of the vessel, and
the almost intolerable smell after the rain, that I
have done little more than lounge on the bed for
several days. But I have been blest with excellent
spirits, and to-day have been running about the
deck, and dancing' in our room for exercise, as well
as ever. What do some females do, who have un-
kind husbands in sickness ? Among the many sig-
nal favours I am daily receiving from God, one of
the greatest is a most affectionate partner. With
him my days pass cheerfully away ; happy in the
consciousness of loving and of being beloved. With
him contented I would live, and contented I would

MRS NEWELL. 131

die. This, my mother, is the language of your
Harriett heart.

We are in the latitude of the Cape. The wea-
ther is cold, and will probably be so for a month.
The last winter we shall have. Ten weeks since
we left Salem. I often think, and often dream of
you. Is mamma happy ? Oil yes ! blest with the
rich consolations of the gospel, she cannot be un-
happy. But, mamma, the Heathen are wretched.
For their sake shall not some Christians leave
friends and country, cross the Atlantic, arid submit
to many hardships, to carry them the word of life ?
I do not repent, nor have I ever repented of my
undertaking. My health is as good as I could rea-
sonably expect. When I get to Calcutta, I will
tell you more of that.

When in the exercise of right feelings, I rejoice
that I am made capable of adding to the happiness
of one of Christ's dear missionaries. This is the
sphere, in which I expect to be useful, while life is
prolonged. This is what you calculated upon, and
I am now happy in seeing this wish daily accom-
plished. In heaven I hope shortly to recount to
you the many toils of my pilgrimage. My dear
mother, and my dear brothers and sisters, farewell
for the present. Lest I should forget, I mention it
now, request brother E. W. and all who are inter-
ested enough to inquire for me, to write me long
letters. Oh how acceptable will American letters
be. You icill think of it.

May 8. My dear Mr N. has been ill this week
past with the dysentery, so ill that he has kepi his
bed the greater part of the time. Should he fall a

MEMOIRS OF

victim to this painful disease, and leave me alone in
a strange land ! But I will not distrust the care of
my heavenly Father. I know he will never leave
nor forsake me, though a widowed stranger in a
strange country. The weather is rainy, the sea runs
high, and our room is often overflowed with water.
My health has been remarkably good since Mr N 's
sickness, and I have been able to attend upon him a
little. But think, mamma, how painful it must be
to the feeling heart to stand by the sick bed of a
beloved friend, see him in want of many necessaries,
which you cannot provide.

Four years to-day since my father's death. You,
my dear mother, have probably thought of it, and
the recollection is painful. Dear cousin C. has pro-
bably before this time entered .the world of spirits ;
and perhaps more of my dear Haverhill friends.

« This life's a dream, an empty show.'

We find that we have taken passage in an old
leaky vessel, which, perhaps, will not stand the
force of the wind and waves, until we get to Cal-
cutta. But if God has any thing for us to do in
' Heathen Asia, we shall get there and accomplish it
Why then do we fear ? It is God,

* Who rides upon the stormy winds,
And manages the seas.'

And is not this God our God ?

May 10. Mr NewelTa health is much improved.
c I will bless the Lord because he hath heard the
voice of my supplications.' The weather is still
cold and unpleasant. We are tossing about on the
storiny waves, and are subjected to the numerous
inconveniences of a sea-faring life. We go at the

MRS NEWELL. 13S

fate of 160 miles hi 24 hours. We hope to reach
our destined haven in six or seven weeks.

Scarcely a night passes, but I dream of my dear
mother, brothers and sisters. My sleeping hours
are pleasant. Doubtless, mamma sometimes dreams
of Harriet. Does she not ?

May 11. I have been reading what I have written,
and fear that mamma will conclude from some sen-
tences, that I am not so happy in my present situ-
ation, as she could wish. It has never been my
intention to leave this impression on your mind.
Believe me, my mother, in the sincerity of my
heart I can say, that with a very few exceptions, I
am happy all the day long. Though I am deeply
sensible of my want of many qualifications, which
would render a female highly useful among those of
her own sex in Asia, yet I delight in the thought,
that weak and unqualified as I am, a sovereign God
may see fit to make me the instrument of doing
some good to the Heathen, either directly or indi-
rectly. Recollect, mamma, that happiness is not
confined to any particular situation.

The humble cottager may enjoy as much happi-
ness, as the king on his throne. Blest with a com-
petency, what more do we want ? This God has
hitherto granted me ; and more than this, he has
often given me the enjoyment of himself, which you
know by happy experience is of greater value than
all this earth can afford :

* Give what thou wilt, without thee we are poor,
And with thee rich, take wliat thou wilt away."1

I think I never enjoyed so much solid peace of
mind— never was so free from discontent and melan-

M

13 i MEMOIRS OF

choly, as since I have been here ; though I still
retain a sinful heart, and often am led to doubt the
reality of my being personally interested in the
covenant.

May 14. You will not doubt but what my health
is excellent when I tell you, that I eat meat three
times a-day with a very good relish. I generally
drink water- gruel morning and evening, instead of
coffee and tea. The gingerbread, which the ladies
in Salem made for us, is still good. But we find
that the crackers, which Captain Pearson put up for
us, have been, and still are, more acceptable than
any thing else, which we have. The preserves,
which I brought from home, were almost useless ;
for - in a week or two after we sailed they grew
mouldy, and I gave them to the sailors. Those
which Mrs B. gave me, kept very well. Mr N.
relished them much in his sickness. I wish to
thank her.

May 17. Sabbath eve. This has been a plea-
sant day. We assembled in the cabin as usual, and
joined in the worship of God. I have enjoyed as
much this day, as I ever did in an American church.
The presence of Jesus is not confined to a temple
made with hands. Many hundreds flock to his
house every Sabbath. The word preached does not
profit them. They go, and return without a bless-
ing; while the believing two or three, who are
gathered together in his name, are favoured with
his presence. This thought often gives me great
encouragement, when lamenting my long absence
from the courts of the Lord. ' I have loved the
place where thine honour dwelleth.'

MRS NEWELL. 135

Two albatrosses caught to-day. They are very
pretty birds, about the size of a goose. We shal
have what we call a sea pie made of them. We aL
long to see land again.

May 20. This is probably a delightful month
with you. ' The winter is past, and the time of
the singing of birds is corned May health, peace,
and joy, reside in my dear-loved native dwelling.
Oh ! may my mother dear and all her children be
favoured with those joys, which the Gospel of Jesus
affords. Pray that Harriet may possess them too,
though far away from friends and home.

May 21. How does our dear Church flourish?
Is the little flock which our dear pastor is attempt-
ing to direct to glory, increasing in strength, piety,
and numbers ? And how is it with the pious few,
whom I left walking closely with God, like pilgrims
and strangers, and daily expectants of rest ? Oh !
that I were with them, to speak a word to our dear
sisters, and exhort them to be faithful unto the end.
But no, mamma, do not regard the opposition of
the world, or Satan ; but Oh ! be active, be engaged
in promoting piety around you. Oh ! that I had
done more for Jesus, when with you. Oh ! that
those evenings which were spent in vanity, had
been sacred to prayer ! Tell cousin J.. to exert
every faculty of his soul for God.

Mity 22. How does dear little A. do ? I should
love to see the sweet child. May he long live to
comfort his parents, and do good in the world !
Our dear Mr W. is probably now at Haverhill.
I1 would have been pleasant to see him once more.
Do give my love to him. Will he write me one letter ?

136 MEMOIRS OP

M. I hope, has become very good, and is affording
you much assistance and comfort. C. likewise, and
little E. I hope, are great blessings to their dear
mother. Do kiss all the children for me. I shall
expect letters from every one. I shall not ask for
them : for mamma knows what I want. I cannot
yet give up the idea of having a visit from you,
when I get settled in my little Indian hut. Per-
haps E. S. or C. may accompany some Missionary
to Asia. If the mission-ship should be sent — but
let me stop. I have thought more than ever, since
I left home, that I shall return to America again,
if deprived by death of my dear, dear Mr N. Oh !
that such an event might never happen. But life
is uncertain, particularly in burning India. I am
trying to familiarize my mind to every affliction.
We often converse of a separation. It is his wish,
that I should return to you immediately, should
such an event take place ; unless I am positive of
being more extensively useful among the Heathen.

May 24. Hope my Haverhill friends have en-
joyed as much comfort as I have, this holy Sabbath.

May 29. Do you not think, mamma, I have
acquired a little courage since I left home ? I have
had hco teeth extracted to-day; they came very
hard; but I think I shall have all my defective
ones taken out.

May &l. We have, this evening, been reading
some account of Birmah. Never before did I so
much feel my dependance on God. We are going
among a savage people, without the protection of a
religious government. We may possibly, one day,
die martyrs to the cause which we have espoused

MRS NEWELL. 137

But trusting in God, we may yet be happy, infi-
nitely more happy, than all the riches and honours
of this world can make us. I hope you will never
indulge an anxious thought about us. Pray often,
and pray earnestly for us. Oh ! how does the hope
of heaven reconcile me to a life of trials. When
my friends in America hear of my departure from
this vale of tears, let the thought, that I am at
rest in Jesus, influence them to rejoice rather than
to weep.

June 7. The weather grows warmer, and the
heat will probably continue to increase, until we
reach Calcutta. But we have fine winds, which
render the weather comfortable. Worship as usual
in the cabin to-day. We have commenced and
ended this Sabbath, nearly at the same time with the
Christians in India. If mamma and our other
friends were now to look on the map, they would
see us in the torrid zone, passing near the fertile
island of Ceylon. The idea of being within some
hundred miles of land is really pleasant. We have
had strong gales of wind, and heavy rains, attended
with thunder and lightning of late ; which might
terrify a heart, more susceptible of feeling than
mine. I know not how it is, but I hear the thun-
der roll, see the lightning flash, and the waves
threatening to swallow up the vessel,, and yet remain
unmoved.

June 9. We are now looking forward in expecta-
tion of shortly seeing the shores of Calcutta. The
idea of again walking on the earth, and conversing
with its inhabitants, is pleasing. Though, as we
often remark to each other, this- may be the plea-

138 MEMOIRS OF

santest part of our lives. We do not calculate upon
a life of ease.

June 10. We have been packing some of our
things to-day. Hope to reach port Sabbath-day, if
the winds prove favourable.

June 11. Some visitors from land to-day, — two
birds and a butterfly. We suppose, that we are
about one hundred miles from land. The weather
unpleasant and rainy last night and to-day. I
dread rainy weather very much at sea. How does
dear E. do ? Is she a very good child ? Do, dear
mother, talk often to the children about their sister
Harriet. Do not let them forget me. I think much
of dear sister E. How happy should I feel, if she
were with me. Dear girl ! with what sensations do
I recal the scenes of other years ! I hope that she
is happy. Perhaps ere this, she has given herself
to God, and commenced a serious and devout life.
If this is the case, my heart congratulates her.
My mother, shall so much loveliness be lost ?

June 12. * Rejoice with us, my dear, dear mother,
in the gcodness of our covenant God. After seeing
nothing but sky and water for one hundred and
fourteen days, we this morning heard the joyful
exclamation of ' land, land /' It is the coast of
Orissa, about twenty miles from us. Should the
wind be favourable, we shall not lose sight of land
again until we get to Calcutta. We hope to see
the pagoda which contains the Idol Juggernaut, be-
fore sunset. The view of the Orisso coast, though
at a distance, excites within me a variety of sensa-
tions unknown before. For it is the land of Pagan
darkness, which Buchanan so feelingly describes.

MRS NEWELL. 139

June 13. A calm. Passed the temple of Jug-
gernaut, and the Black Pagoda ; but the weather
being hazy, we could not see them. In the after-
noon for the first time, spoke a vessel. An Ameri-
can ship from the Cape of Good Hope. It seemed
good to hear the voice of a human being not
belonging to our number. Agreed to keep company
during the night.

June 1 4. No public worship to-day. The last
night a sleepless, tedious one. Sounded every half
hour all night. The water shallow, and of a dirty
light green. Surrounded by shoals, in perpetual
danger of running upon them. Many vessels have
been shipwrecked here, and in the Hoogly river.
May that God, who has hitherto been our protector,
still stand by us. Anxiously looking for a pilot,
but no vessel in sight. The ship and brig close by
us. Pleasant having company. Spoken with the
brig to-day, owned by some one in Calcutta, and
manned by Bengalees. I could see them distinctly
with a spy glass. Lost sight of land. No sun for
three days.

June 15. We anchored last night. Dangerous
sailing in this place in the dark ; providentially
discovered a pilot's schooner this morning. Vessels
are sometimes kept waiting ten days or more for a
pilot. The pilot, an English lad., called the leads-
man, and the pilot's Hindoo servant, came on board,
bag and baggage. I should like to describe this
Hindoo to you. He is small in stature, about
twenty years of age, of a dark copper colour. His
countenance is mild, and indicates the most perfect
apathy and indolence. He is dressed in calico

140 MEMOIRS OF

trowsers, and a white cotton short gown. He is a
Mahometan. I should not imagine that he had
force enough to engage in any employment.

June 16. Last night by sunset the anchor was
thrown again. A heavy sea; the vessel rocked
violently all the evening. The water rushing in at
the cabin windows, overflowed our rooms. The
birth is our only place of refuge at such times.

About eleven the cable broke, and we were dashed
about all night in continual danger of running upon
some shoal. The anchor was lost, yet we were mi-
raculously preserved from a sudden and awful death,
by that God who rules the seas, and whom the winds
obey. I slept the greater part of the night sweetly ,-
though the dead lights were in, which made our
room excessively hot, and much confusion was on
deck ; all hands hard at work the most of the night.
What a blessing, Oh my mother, is health. Were
I on land, I think no one would be so free from
complaints as I. Even here, notwithstanding all
the fatigue to which I am unavoidably subjected, I
get along surprisingly. Saugor Island about two
miles from us. This is the island where so many
innocent children have been sacrificed by their pa-
rents, to sharks and alligators. Cruel, cruel ! While
I am now writing, we are fast entering the river
Hoogly. For several days past, we have had fre-
quent showers of rain. This is the time at which
the rainy season commences in Bengal. It is the
most unhealthy part of the year. The weather is
not uncomfortably warm.

12 o'clock. A boat filled with Hindoos from
Cudjeree, has just left our vessel. It is called a

MRS NEWELL. 141

port-boat. They have taken letters, which will be
sent post haste before us, to Calcutta. These Hin-
doos were naked, except a piece of cotton cloth
wrapped about their middle. They are of a dark
copper colour, and with much more interesting
countenances than the Hindoo we have now on
board. They appeared active, talkative, and as
though they were capable of acquiring a knowledge
of the Christian religion, if instructed. Their hair
is black ; some had it shaved off' the fore part of the
head, and tied in a bunch behind ; that of the
others, was all turned back. I long to become ac-
quainted with the Hindoo language.

1 odock. We are now so near land as to see
the green bushes and trees on the banks of the
river. The smell of the land air is reviving. We
hear the birds singing sweetly in the bushes.

5 o'clock. I wish my ever dear mother could be
a partaker of our pleasures. Were it in my power,
how gladly would I describe to you the beauties of
the scenery around us. After passing hundreds of
the Hindoo cottages, which resemble hay-stacks in
their form and colour, in the midst of cocoa-nut9
banana, and date trees, a large English stone house
will appear to vary the scene. Here will be seen a
large white Pagoda through the trees, the place
where the idol gods are worshipped ; there a large
ancient building in ruins. Some Hindoos are seen,
bathing in the water of the Ganges ; others fishing ;
others sitting at their ease on the banks ; others
driving home their cattle, which are very numerous ;
and others, walking with fruit and umbrellas in their
hands, with the little tawny children around them

MEMOIRS OF

The boats frequently come to our vessel, and die?
Hindoos chatter, but it is thought best to take no
notice of them. This is the most delightful trial
I ever had. We anchor in the river to-night,
twenty-five miles from Calcutta. Farewell.

June 17. After a tedious voyage, we have, my
dear mother, arrived at Calcutta. We reached here
yesterday, at three o'clock in the afternoon. Mr N.
and brother J. went on shore immediately, and re-
turned in the evening. They called at the Police
office, entered their names, called upon Dr Carey
at his dwelling-house at Calcutta, were cordially
received, and by him invited to go immediately ta
Serampore*. They likewise saw Dr Marshman
and Mr Ward. I cannot say that our future pros-
pects are at present flattering, but hope before I
send you this, they will wear a different aspect.

Mr N. and J. will go on shore again this morn-
ing ; we hope to be permitted to land and reside
here for a season, but know not how it will be.

The English East India Company are violently
opposed to missions ; but I will tell you more at
some future time. Oh that their hearts might be

* A Danish Settlement, chosen as the seat of the Mission in the
year 1799. It is situated about fifteen miles north from Calcutta,
en the western bank of the Hoogly, a branch of the Ganges.
When Dr Carey, Dr Marshoaan and Mr Ward first settled there,,
they agreed to adopt this principle, that no one should engage in any
private trade* but tltat whatever -was procured by any member of the
family^ should be appropriated to the benefit of the Mission. In
consequence of this resolution, in the year 1814, the Missionaries
contributed not less than Seven Thousand Pounds Sterling towards
spreading Christianity in the East ; whether by Translations of the
Scriptures, preaching the Gospel, or the establishment of Schools.

Ee.

MRS NEWELL. 143

opened to receive the blessings of the Gospel. Oh
my mother, my heart is pained within me at what
I have already seen of these wretched Pagans.
Here we are, surrounded by hundreds of them,
whose only object is to get their rice, eat, drink,
and sleep. One of the writer cast*, dressed in a
muslin cuprash and white turban, (which is the
common habit of that cast) who can talk English,
has just left the cabin. His name is Ram- Joy-Gos.
Your pious heart, my dear mother, would melt with
oompassion to hear him talk. Oh the superstition
that prevails through this country ! I am sure, if
we gain admittance into Asia, I shall plead harder
with American Christians to send Missionaries to
these Bengal Heathens, than ever a Missionary did
Jaefore.

Three miles from Calcutta, a native came with a
basket of pine-apples, plantains, (which taste like a
rich pear) a pot of fresh butter, and several loaves
of good bread — a present from one of Capt. H's.
friends. At night, I made a delicious meal on bread
and milk. The milk, though thin, was a luxury.
Yesterday and last night we were not uncomfortably
warm, as the day was cloudy, attended with a little
rain. But to-day it is excessively hot. I dare not
go on deck, for I burned my face so yesterday, that
it is almost ready to blister ; owing to my going on
deck without a bonnet. You have heard of the
natives dying -by being sun-struck.

I think I can say, I never felt better in America,
than 1 do here. Calcutta harbour is a delightful
place. But we are quite tired of the noise. The
natives are as thick as bees ; they keep a continual

144 MEMOIRS OF

chattering. I like the sound of the Bangalee much.

June 18. Yesterday afternoon we left the vessel,
and were conveyed in a Palanquin through crowds
of Hindoos to Dr Carey's.

No English lady is here seen walking the streets.
This I do not now wonder at. The natives are so
numerous and noisy, that a walk would be extremely
unpleasant. Calcutta houses are built almost entirely
of stone. They are very large and airy. Dr C.'s
house appeared like a 'palace to us, after residing so
long in our little room. He keeps a large number
of Hindoo servants. Mrs Carey is very ill at
Serampore. The Doctor is a small man and very
pleasant. He received us very cordially. This
morning we saw some of the native Christians.
Ram-Mo-Hund was one. They cannot talk English.
A son of Dr C.'s is studying law at Calcutta He
is an amiable young man*. An invitation to go to
Serampore to-morrow.

June 20. At Serampore. We came here last
evening by water. The dear Missionaries received
us with the same cordiality, as they would, if we
had been own brothers and sisters. This is the
most delightful place I ever saw. Here the mis-
sionaries enjoy all the comforts of life, and are
actively engaged in the Redeemer's service. After
a tedious voyage of four months at sea, think, my
dear mother, how grateful to us is this retired and
delightful spot. The mission-house consists of four

* Mr Jabez Carey — the Dr's third son. He has since devoted
himself to Missionary labours, and is resident at Amboyna, where
he has all the schools, originally established by the Dutch, to su-
perin tench ED.

MRS NEWELL.

large commodious stone buildings — Dr CareyX Dr
Marshman's, Mr Ward's, and the common house.
In the last we were accommodated with two large
spacious rooms, with every convenience we could
wish. It has eight rooms on the floor, no chambers ;
viz the two rooms above-mentioned, with two other
lodging rooms, the dining hall, where a hundred or
more eat, a large elegant chapel, and two large
libraries. The buildings stand close to the river.
The view of the other side is delightful*.

The garden is larger and much more elegant,
than any I ever saw in America. A few months
since, the printing-office was destroyed by fire.
This was a heavy stroke ; but the printing is now
carried on very extensively. There is a large
number of out buildings also ; the cook-house, one
for making paper, &c. &c.

June 21. Mr N. preached this morning in the
Mission chapel. Mr W. in the afternoon in the
Bengalee language to about fifty Hindoos and
Mussulmen. This afternoon, I shall ever recollect
with peculiar sensations. The appearance of the
Christian Hindoos wnen listening to the word of
life, would have reproved many an American Chris-
tian. Had you been present, I am sure you could
not have refrained from weeping. Had an opposer
of missions been present, his objections must have
vanished. He would have exclaimed, what hath
God wrought ! To hear the praises of Jesus sung
by a people of strange language ; to see them kneel
before the throne of grace ; to behold them eagerly

* On the other side, besides the Mausoleum, is seen the country
residence of the Governor General, the great Park, &c, ED.

s

'

146 MEMOIRS OF

catching every word which proceeded from the
mouth of their minister, was a joyful affecting scene.
Rejoice, my mother ; the standard of the blessed
Immanuel is erected in this distant Pagan land;
and here the Gospel will undoubtedly continue, till
the commencement of the bright millennial day.
In the evening, brother J. preached. How precious
the privileges I now enjoy !

June %2. I have every thing here which heart
could wish, but American friends. We are treated
with the greatest possible kindness. Every thing
tends to make us happy and excite our gratitude.
You would love these dear Missionaries, could you
see them.

June 24. I have just returned from a scene,
calculated to awaken every compassionate feeling.
At nine in the morning we took a budgerow^ and
went three or four miles up the river to see the wor-
ship of Juggernaut The log of wood was taken
from his pagoda and bathed in the sacred waters of
the Ganges. The assembled worshippers followed
the example ; and thousands flocked to the river,
where, with prayers and many superstitious rites,
they bathed. Miserable wretches ! Oh that Ame-
rican Christians would but form an adequate idea
of the gross darkness which covers this people !

July 14. A letter from Calcutta informs us,
that the Frances will sail for America in a day or
two. With this information I must be expeditious
in writing. As the Caravan will sail in a short
time, I shall neglect writing now to many of my
dear friends, to whom I shall then be very parti-
cular. I hope the contents of this little book will

MRS NEWELL. 147

be gratifying to rny dear mother. She will remem-
ber that they were written while the events were
passing^ and that they were the feelings of the
moment. You will therefore feel disposed to pass
over all errors, and think it like the private conver-
sation of one of your daughters.

I am sure I love my dear, dear mother, and my
beloved brothers and sisters ; and all my dear Ameri-
can friends, as well now, as I did on the morning
when I took my last farewell of home. I long to hear
from you all. Whenever you think of m e, think, I
am happy and contented ; that I do not regret com-
ing here. But life is uncertain, especially in this
country. Should God in judgment, remove far from
me lover, and the best of friends, and leave your
Harriet a lonely widow in this land of strangers, say,
my mother, ever dear, shall I be a welcome child in
your house ? I know not what would be my feelings,
should such unknown trials be mine. Perhaps I
might feel that here I ought to stay. But I want
to feel, that a aether's Iwuse and a mother's arms^
are open to receive me, should my all be removed
before me into the latd of darkness. Assurance of
this gives me joy.

My dear mother, unite vith me in praising God
for one of the best of husbarsls. Oh wh.it would
have been my wretchedness, had I found Mr N. a
cold inattentive partner. But he it all that I could
wish him to be. Do give much love to ?11 my friends
in Haverhill. I cannot stop to particularize them.
They are all dear to me, and I shall write to many of
them by the Caravan. Dear mother, if I supposed
you had one anxious thought about me, I should not

148 MEMOIRS OP

feel happy. I think I see you surrounded by your
dear family, taking comfort in their society, and bless-
ing God for one child to consecrate to the work of a
mission. Oh that you might find the grace of Jesus
sufficient for you ! As your day is, so may your
strength be ! Trust in God, he will support you un-
der every trial. I hope to meet my dear mother, and
brothers, and sisters, in heaven, where we shall never
be separated.

Farewell, my dear, dear mother. May you enjoy
as large a share of earthly bliss, as your God shall
see best to give you ; and Oh, that the joys of that
gospel, of which the Heathen are ignorant, may be
yours in life, and in the solemn hour of dissolution,
Farewell. A letter to our dear Miss H. almost
finished, lies by me ; will be sent by the Caravan.
One to Mr Dodge likewise. Love to botfi.

HARRIET NEWELL.

The first of the following letters tfas begun at sea,
and finished after her arrival in India.

ON BOARD THE CARAVAN, AT SEA.
My dear Mrs K. April 14, 1812.

MOST sensibly d? I feel the loss of the society of
my Christian fronds in Kaverhill, with whom I
often took sw^ct counsel. How repeatedly have I
commemorated the death of the blessed Jesus at his
table, wJth my sister and mend, my ever dear Mrs
K. The ties are still strong which attach my heart
to her .; and though I no more anticipate another
meeting with her on earth, yet I hope to sit with

MRS NEWELL. 149

her at the gospel feast in heaven, where all parting
tears will be wiped away. Two months this day
since I left my native shores and became a resident
of this floating prison. The change has been great
indeed which the last months have effected in my
situation. Many have been the inconveniences and
privations, to which I have been subjected. I have
relinquished a life of ease and tranquillity, in the
bosom of my relatives and friends, for the hardships
of a voyage across the Atlantic, and a habitation in
an unhealthy clime among the Heathens. But I
am far from being unhappy. I have found many
valuable sources of enjoyment, and I believe I can
say in the sincerity of my heart, that notwithstand-
ing my separation from every object which once I
loved, yet I never was happier, or more contented
in my life. In one bosom friend I find the endear-
ing qualities of a parent, a brother, and a husband,
all united. This sympathy alleviates every sor-
row ; his prayers diffuse joy and consolation through
my heart ; and while he lessens my earthly griefs, he
points me to that world, where the weary are at rest.

June 9, lat. 10°. long. 36°.

"We are rapidly hastening to the place of our des-
tination. A few days more will probably land us
on the shores of Asia. I feel, my dear Mrs K. a
mixture of pleasing and melancholy sensations, as I
approach nearer Calcutta. Melancholy, because I
can see none of my friends there, and it is an un-
healthy, sultry region, which the gospel has never
illuminated; pleasing, because a hope is indulged that
ere long the darkness of Paganism will be scattered,
and the news of salvation be diffused far and wide.

150

MEMOIRS OF

My health has been remarkably good, since we
crossed the Equator the last time. This I consider
a very great blessing, and some encouragement that
I shall enjoy the same favour in India. The wea-
ther is excessively hot ; the nights are very uncom-
fortable, owing to the confined air of our rooms.
But what is this compared with India ? The recol-
lection of departed pleasures often casts a gloom
over my present enjoyments. ' I think of the days
of other years, and my soul is sad.' How does dear
Haverhill, my much loved native town, appear?
How are its dear inhabitants ? How is the little
flock of Jesus, of which you are a member ? How
flourishes that dear society of praying females ? How
is our dear pastor? Are the weekly conferences
continued ? Are there many who attend them ? Are
there many inquiring the way to Zion ? Are there
any new converts to the power of truth ? Are there
numbers daily added to the church of such as shall
be saved? Were I with my dear Mrs K. how
gladly would I particularize. But I must stop. In
one or two years I may have an answer to these
questions. Oh that it might be such an answer as
will gladden my heart, and cause our little Mission
band to rejoice. I hope that it will not be long be-
fore glad tidings from the East, will give you joy.

Oh that this infant Mission might ever live before
God. May that quarter of the globe, where so many
wonderful transactions have been performed, be
filled with the glory of God. Oh that the standard
of IinmanuePs cross were already erected in Heathen
Asia, and that Mahometans and Pagans were pros-
trated before it. I cannot but hope that the labours

MRS NEWELL. 151

of our missionary brethren will be abundantly suc-
cessful in winning souls to Christ, and that we shall
afford them some comfort and assistance in the ar-
duous, but glorious work.

June 16.

My dear Mrs K. I think will congratulate us on
again seeing land. I have been walking on deck,
and have seen a boat filled with Hindoos approach
our vessel. I like their appearance much, and feel
more reconciled to the idea of living among them
than ever before. My heart burns within me while
I write. O, my friend, will these degraded Pagans
ever be brought to Jesus ?

Serampore, July 14.

I have not time to review what I wrote to you,
my dear Mrs K. on board the Caravan, but send it
you full of errors, with a promise to write you
shortly again by vessels which will soon go to Ame-
rica. Do let me hear from you : I long to have
letters from Haverhill. You will be kind enough
to visit my dear mother often, and console her with
your pious conversation. 1 think much of her. Oh
that Jesus would support her under all her trials.
Dear woman ! — Mrs K. do not forget me, though I
am far away. Let me have your prayers, and the
prayers of all my Christian friends in America. A
short farewell. Affectionately yours, HARRIET.

Respects and love to your dear mother and sister,
and all other dear friends.

TO HER BROTHER J. MEMBER OF YALE COLLEGE.
Mission House, Serampore, June 27, 1812.

I HAVE just received the welcome intelligence

152 MEMOIRS OF

that a vessel bound to America will sail in a few
days. With sensations of pleasure unknown before,
I have taken my pen to address a brother, who,
though far distant, is unspeakably dear to my heart.
1 cannot tell you how I long to see you ; nor how
much joy a letter from you would give me. Neither
distance, nor a long absence, has in the least dimi-
nished my affection for you. No, my brother ; al-
though the pathless ocean rolls between, and I no
more anticipate another interview with you on earth ;
yet I love you, ardently and sincerely love you.
Your happiness will ever make me happy. I some-
times indulge the fond hope that Almighty grace
will incline your heart to visit this distant Heathen
clime, and here proclaim the joyful news of salvation
to multitudes of dying Pagans, immersed in super-
stition and wretchedness. But if this laborious part
of the vineyard should not be assigned you, Oh that
your days might be spent in winning souls to Jesus,
in happy America, where you can enjoy ease and
security, in the bosom of your friends. I feel as-
sured, that my dear brother will be gratified by a
recital of the various scenes through which I have
passed, since I bid a last farewell to our dear mater-
nal abode, and left my country. I suffered all the
horrors of sea-sickness the first week after I left
Salem harbour. At the conclusion of the week we
were, one dark and stormy night, alarmed by the
intelligence, that our vessel had sprung a leak, and
that, unless Providence interposed, we should sink
in twenty-four hours. In this trying hour I thought
of death, and the thought was sweet. Nothing but
anticipating the long-continued anxiety and distress

MRS NEWELL. 153

of my dear American friends, made such a sudden
exit from life, in such an awful manner, melancholy
and painful. But God, who is rich in mercy, in-
terposed in our behalf the following day, by sending
a favourable wind, which enabled the mariners to
repair the vessel, when their strength was nearly
exhausted by long pumping. We proceeded on our
passage with pleasant weather, favourable winds,
few heavy gales, until we reached the Cape of Good
Hope. The weather was then cold and boisterous,
the sea rough, and our room was repeatedly over-
flowed with water. The newly discovered shoals
round the Cape, rendered this part of the voyage
extremely dangerous. The first land we saw was
the Orissa coast, 114 days after sailing. The sight
of the adjacent country, after we entered the river
Hoogly, was beautiful beyond description. Leaving
America in the winter, and for a length of time seeing
nothing but sky and water, think what must have been
our delight to gaze upon the trees, the green grass,
the little thatched cottages of the Hindoos resembling
a stack of hay, the elegant buildings of the English,
the animals feeding, and the Hindoos themselves
rambling near the shore. My friend Nancy* and
I were detained two days on board the Caravan, after
our arrival at Calcutta. This was a time of great
confusion. The Hindoos, of every class, flocked
around our vessel like bees round a hive. We were
carried in palanquins to the house of Dr Carey,
Professor of the College at Fort William of the
Oriental Languages. No white female is seen
walking in the streets, and but few gentlemen.

* Mrs Judson.

154 MEMOIRS OF

English coaches, chaises, chairs, and palanquins
are numerous. Every street is thronged with the
natives. If you ride in a chaise, it is necessary for
a Hindoo to run before and clear the way. The
houses in Calcutta, and indeed all the buildings, the
Hindoo huts excepted, are built with stone, or brick
white- washed. These are lofty, and have an ancient
appearance. Some of them are very elegant. There
are many half English children in Calcutta. There
is a charity school close by Dr Carey's, supported
by subscription, managed by the Baptist mission-
aries, consisting of about 100 Portuguese children.
Here they enjoy the benefit of religious instruction*.
We attended the English church one evening.
This is an elegant building. The Friday after our
arrival, we took a boat, and came to Serampore, 15
miles from Calcutta. This is a delightful place,
situated on the river Ganges. It is inhabited chiefly

* This refers to * the Benevolent Institution,' which was begun
in 1810 ; and ' such,' say the Missionaries, * has been the gener-
ous feeling among all ranks of people on the propriety of affording
Christian instruction to this class of youth, that in the last year
(i. e. 1814) the subscription for the support of the Institution, ex-
ceeded a Thousand Pounds sterling.' The number of children
admitted on this Institution from the beginning, has been above
500. At present there are about 200 in attendance, and above 50
more at a school of the same kind at Serampore There are three
classes for whom the Missionaries wish to provide Christian educa-
tion. First, The descendants of European parents born in J ndia,
who in general pay for their education. Second, The descendants
of Koman Catholic and other indigent parents, chiefly Portuguese,
who are taught in the Benevolent Institution. Third, The children
of the Natives ; schools for whom are the most important of all
others, and may be carried to any extent, if funds are provided by
the Public. ED.

MRS NEWELL. 155

by Danes. This retired spot is best calculated to
prepare us for our future trials, and our arduous
work. There are five large buildings belonging to
the Mission ; viz. the printing-office, the common
house, Dr Carey's, Dr Marshman's, and Mr Ward's
dwelling houses, besides several convenient out-
houses, one for making paper, one for cooking, &c.
&c. There is one of the most delightful gardens
here I ever saw. It contains a large number of
fruit trees, plants, flowers, &c. The fruit is not as
good as ours. Mangoes, plantains, pine-apples,
cocoa-nuts, are very plentiful now. Dr Carey
spends much of his time at Calcutta. Dr and Mrs
Marshman have large schools of English and half
English children, about eighty in both schools.
The boys are instructed in Chinese and other lan-
guages. These children all eat with us in the hall,
and attend prayers morning and evening in the
Mission chapel. Many of them are sweet singers.
Mr Ward superintends the printing. Here a large
number of Hindoos are employed. Mrs Ward has
the care of providing for the whole Mission family.
Servants are numerous. This is necessary, for their
religion will not permit them to do but one kind of
work : for instance, one servant will sweep a room ;
but no persuasion will be sufficient to make him
dust the things. The church of Christian natives
is large. It is a delightful sight to see them meet
together for the worship of God. The missionaries
preach to them in Bengalee. They sing charmingly
in their language. We went in a budgerow, (a boat
with a little room in it, cushions on each side, and
Venetian blinds), the 24th of this month, to see the

156 MEMOIRS OF

worship of the Hindoo god, Juggernaut, a few miles
from Serampore. They took the idol, a frightful
object, out of the Pagoda, and bathed him in the
water of the Ganges, which they consider sacred.
They bathed themselves in the river, repeated long
forms of prayer, counted their fingers, poured muddy
water down their children's throats, and such like
foolish superstitious ceremonies, in honour of their
god. Thousands on thousands were assembled to
perform these idolatrous rites. In witnessing these
scenes, I felt more than ever the blessedness, the
superior excellence of the Christian religion. The
Hindoos are very well formed, straight black hair,
small, near a copper colour. Their dress is cool and
becoming. It consists of white muslin, or cotton
cloth wrapped about them. Some wear white muslin
turbans. I shall write you again, my dear brother,
by the Caravan, and other vessels which will shortly
sail to America. I can then give you a more cor-
rect history of the Hindoos, the manners and cus-
toms of this country, &c. You will wish to know
whether I regret coming to this distant land. / do
not ; but feel an increasing satisfaction, in thinking
of my arduous undertaking. Since I have been an
eye witness of the idolatry and wretchedness of the
Asiatics ; and find it confirmed by the long experi-
ence of the Baptist missionaries, whose names will
be remembered with honour by the latest genera-
tions, that females greatly promote the happiness
and usefulness of missionaries, I am inclined to
bless God for bringing me here. I have not as yet
had sufficient trials to shake my faith. Providence
has smiled upon us, and we know but little of the

MRS NEWELL.

hardships of a mission. But we shall shortly leave
these abodes of peace and security, and enter upon
that self-denying life, among a savage people, upon
which we calculated when we left our native country.
It is not determined where our future lot will be cast.
With respect to my connection with Mr Newell,
let me tell you that I am, and ever have been, per-
fectly satisfied with my choice. He is all that I
could wish ; affectionate, obliging, attentive, and in
one word, every way deserving of my strongest
attachment. It shall be my study through life, to
render him happy and useful in the fatiguing path
which he has selected. Oh that God would grant
me the accomplishment of my wishes in this respect !
I have enjoyed far better health than I expected,
when I left home. I have been miraculously sup-
ported through the fatigues of our tedious voyage.
This is the rainy, hot season, and the most un-
healthy in the year; but I think I never felt
better in America ; though many around us are
suddenly dropping into eternity. There have been
ten deaths in the mission family the last year.
This is a sickly, dying clime. You are probably
still at New Haven, I hope making great profi-
ciency in your studies, and preparing for eminent
usefulness in the world. Oh, my brother, shall we
meet in Heaven, or shall we be separated for ever ?
Let us be solicitous to obtain an interest in Jesus,
whatever else we lose. When the glad tidings
reach this distant land, that a brother of mine, dear
to my heart, has been redeemed from eternal woe,
and become a disciple of the blessed Immanuel ;
Oh how will this delightful intelligence make me

156 MEMOIRS OF

rejoice ! how it will gladden the days of separation1,
I long to see our dear mother. Do your utmost,
my dear John, to make her happy. The thought
of meeting her in a world where there will be no
parting, is sweet. All my beloved brothers and
sisters will ever be dear to me. I cannot tell you
how much I think of you all. I feel much happier
than ever I expected to feel, in this Heathen land.
I am glad I came here ; I am glad that our dear
mamma was so willing to part with me, and that
no opposition prevailed with me to relinquish tire
undertaking. Let me hear from you, my dear, by
every vessel bound to Asia. You know not how
large a part of my happiness will consist in receiving
letters from my American friends. Every particu-
lar will be interesting. For the present I must bid
you farewell. May you be distinguished for your
attachment to the cause of Jesus, and be made an
eminent blessing to your dear friends, and to the
world. Oh that by sanctifying grace you might
shine as a star of the first magnitude in Heaven,
when dismissed from this life of toil and pain.
Farewell, my dear, my ever dear brother, a short
farewell. While I live, I shall ever find pleasure
in subscribing myself your affectionate sister,

HARRIET NEWELL,

EXTRACT FROM A LETTER TO HER LISTER M. AT
CHARLESTOWN.

Serampore, June, 1812.

I HAVE found* my dear sister, that the trifling
afflictions I have already had, have been more sane*

MRS NEWELL.

tified to me, than all the prosperity of my former
life. They have taught me that this is a state of
discipline, that permanent bliss must proceed from
God alone, and that heaven is the only rest that
remains for the children of God.

While I write, I hear the dear Christian natives
singing one of ZionV songs in the mission chapel.
The sounds are melodious ; they remind me of that
glorious day, when the children of Jesus, collected
from Christian and Heathen lands, will sing the
song of Moses, and the Lamb, on the blest plains of
the new Jerusalem.

LETTER TO MRS C. OF BOSTON.

Calcutta, June, 1812:

THE last request of my dear Mrs C. (when quit-
ting the beloved land of my nativity), and the sin-
cere affection which I feel for her, are my principal
inducements for ranking her among the number of
my American correspondents. v

I have witnessed scenes this morning calculated to
excite the most lively sensations of compassion in the
feeling mind, My heart, though so often a stranger
to pity* has been pained within me. Weep, O my
soul, over the forjorn state of the benighted Heathen ;
and, O that the friends of Immanuel in my Christian
country would shake off their criminal slothfulness,
and arise for the help of the Lord against the mighty,
in lands where the prince of darkness has long been
adored. The worship;of the great god of the Hindoos
has this day been celebrated. We were apprised yes-
terday at sunset of its near commencement, by the

160

MEMOIRS OP

universal rejoicing of the natives, which lasted through
the night. This morning we went in a budgerow to
see the worship. Between fifteen and twenty thou-
sand worshippers were assembled. The idol Jugger-
naut was taken from his pagoda, or temple, and bath-
ed in some water taken from the river Ganges, and
then replaced in his former situation with shouts of
joy and praise. This I did not see, the crowd was so
great. After this, the people repaired to the river
side, where they bathed in the sacred waters, said
their prayers, counted their fingers, poured the mud-
dy water down their infants' throats, and performed
many other superstitious ceremonies with the utmost
solemnity, and with countenances indicative of the
sincerity of their hearts. Many of the females were
decked with garlands of flowers, nose-jewels, large
rings round their wrists, &c. Some deformed wretches
and cripples attracted our attention, and excited our
compassion. One man, bent almost to the ground,
was supported by two of his companions, to the holy
Ganges. There he doubtless hoped to wash away the
pollution of his heart, ignorant of the blood of Jesus
which does indeed cleanse from all sin. Oh ! that an
abler pen than mine would delineate to my dear Mrs
C. this idol worship. Surely her pious heart would
|je filled with tender sympathy for these benighted
Asiatics, and her prayers would become more con-
stant, more fervent, for the introduction and spread
of the blessed Gospel among them. Gladly would
American believers leave the healthy civilized land
of their birth, and spend their lives in preaching
Jesus to the natives of India, did they but know
how wretched, how ignorant, they are, and how

MRS NEWELL. 161

greatly they need the Gospel. Do Christians feel
the value of that Gospel which bringeth salvation?
Let us leave the melancholy subject, and turn to
one calculated to fill our minds with holy joy and de-
vout thanksgivings to God. In this land of darkness,
where the enemy of souls reigns triumphant, I see the
blessedness of the Christian religion. Yes, my friend,
there is in Heathen Asia a favoured spot, where the
darkness of Heathenism is scattered, and the benign
influences of the Holy Spirit are felt. Here Jesus has
a people formed for his praise, redeemed by his pre-
cious blood from eternal woe, and made heirs of bliss
everlasting. Bless the Lord, O our souls, and all that
is within us, bless and praise his holy name. Last
Sabbath afternoon, I shall ever remember with pecu-
liar emotions. Mr Ward, a Missionary blessed and
beloved of our God, preached in Bengalee to a large
collection of Hindoos and Mahometans. The dear
converted natives appeared to enjoy the precious sea-
son greatly. To hear them join in singing one of
Zion's songs ; to see them kneel before the throne of
Almighty grace, and listen with eagerness to the word
of life, was sufficient to draw tears of joy from eyes
which never wept before. After service each dear
Christian Hindoo of both sexes came to us with looks
expressive of their joy to .see new Missionaries ; and,
offering us their hands, they seemed to bid us a
hearty welcome. I said to myself, such a sight as
this would eternally silence the scruples, and the
criminal opposition to missions, of every real believer
While such persons would intercede for the success
of Missionaries, and praise the Lord for what he has
already done for these once degraded wretches, they

162

MEMOIRS OF

would weep and repent in dust and ashes for their
former criminality. Oh ! that every American might
be prevented by sovereign grace from opposing or
discouraging those who feel willing to engage in this
work, lest the blood of the Heathen, at the last day,
should be required at their guilty hands.

Last evening, while thousands were preparing for
the impure and idolatrous worship of Juggernaut,
the native Christians assembled at the Missionary
Chapel for prayer. Their engagedness in prayer,
though I could not understand a word they said,
made a deep impression on my mind,

TO MISS S. H. OF AXDOVER.

" Serampore, June 27, 1812.

I HAVE taken my pen with an intention of writing
my dear Miss H. a very long letter. I know she
will not expect the wife of a Missionary to study
correctness of style, or to make her handwriting ap-
pear beautiful ; the easy, unreserved, unstudied
style of a friend will better suit her. 'They that
cross the ocean change their climate^ but not their
minds? This is confirmed by my own experience.
In this distant Heathen land, far from the dear spot
of my birth, my attachment to my American friends
is as strong as ever. Those whom I once loved, I
now sincerely, strongly love, though the anticipation
of meeting them again in this world is totally relin-
quished. But would you infer from this, that a
separation from the friends I love so dearly, renders
me unhappy ? Far otherwise, my dear Miss H.
Let me assure you (and do you remember it for the

MRS NEWELL. 163

encouragement of those females who anticipate walk-,
ing in the same path), that I never enjoyed more
solid happiness, never was so free from discontent
and anxiety, as since I left my native country. It
is true I have suffered many privations and incon-
veniences, and some hardships ; but I have likewise
had many blessings, and found valuable sources of
pleasure, which I did not expect. Since I have
been in India, every wish of my heart, as it respects
..temporal things, has been gratified. The voyage
was tedious, but remarkably pleasant. We were
blest with a commander, who treated us with uniform
respect, kindness, and attention. Our accommoda-
tions were good, and we spent many happy hours
in our little rooms. The sight of land was very
pleasant, as you will imagine. Sailing up the river
Hoogly, we were delighted with the variegated
charming scenes around us. When we reached
Calcutta, we were surrounded by the tawny natives,
and half stunned with their perpetual chattering.
We had some interesting conversation with the
Circars, who could talk English, on board the
vessel. While our astonishment was excited at
hearing their superstitions, how could our hearts
remain unaffected about their wretched state ! We
were affectionately received by the good Dr Oarey,
at his mansion at Calcutta, and treated with the
greatest hospitality. Imagine to yourself a large
stone house, with six lofty, spacious keeping and
lodging rooms, with the same number of unimproved
rooms below ; such is the building. Imagine a small
bald-headed man of sixty ; such is the one whose
name will be remembered to the latest generation

MEMOIRS OF

He is now advanced to a state of honour, with six
thousand dollars a-year. We accepted his invita-
tion to visit the mission family at Serampore ; took
a boat, and at eleven the next evening reached the
happy dwelling of these friends of ImmanueL Here
peace and plenty dwell, and we almost forget that
we are in a land of Pagan darkness. Dr CareyV
wife is ill;: he has only one son residing with him,
who has lately commenced preaching, aged sixteen*.
Felix is stationed at Rangoon, where he has lately
married a native ; William is at Cutwa ; Jabezf is
studying law at Calcutta. Mr Ward superintends
the printing. Mrs Ward has the care of providing
for the whole mission family. Dr and Mrs Marsh-
man are engaged in schools. Mrs Marshman has
had twelve children; six are dead. She has now
thirteen, six ,of h,er own, and seven adopted ones.
These schools are productive of much good.

We attended the worship of the great god of the
Hindoos a fortnight since. The idol was taken
from his temple, and bathed in the sacred waters of
the Ganges. Here were thousands of our fellow-
creatures, washing in the river, expecting to wash
away their sins. A sight which will not admit of
description. My heart, if insensible as steel before,;
was pained within me, when witnessing such a scene,
Oh, the beauty of the Gospel of Jesus! Shall a
Christian be found in America, who is opposed to,
missions ? Forbid it, Heaven ! To-day the great
Juggernaut is removed from his temple, placed on
his car, and drawn in .triumph through the assem-i

* Mr Jonathan Carey, his fourth and youngest son. ED.
f- See Note, p. 144*

MRS NEWELL. 165

bled mass of worshippers. Some will probably sa-
crifice their lives, and this only three miles distant
from Serampore. While writing, I hear the dium,
and the instruments of idol music.

July 21. I have only time to tell my dear Miss
H. that I shall this day leave Calcutta for the Isle
of France. I have not time to read the above, but
send it full of errors. Do write me ; do let me hear
soon from all my American friends.

In the greatest haste, yours,

H. NEWELL.
Love to dear Mr and Mrs W.

TO HER SISTEE E.

JWiszion~house, Serampore, July 14, 1813.

How is my dear, ever dear Elizabeth ? Happy,
I would hope, in the possession of every temporal
blessing heart can wish, and in the still richer bless-
ings of the Gospel. To tell you that I long ardently
to see you, would be only saying what you already
know. Though at a great distance from you, the
ties are still strong which unite me to you. Never
shall I cease to love you. I have given our dear
mother many particulars, respecting my past and
present situation and prospects. Such is our un-
settled state at present,, that I can say little or
nothing to any one. The Harmony has not yet
arrived, we are daily expecting her. No determi-
nation can be made without the other brethren.
The East India Company have ordered us to return
ta America. We have relinquished the idea of
stationing a mission at Burmah entirely. Several

166 MEMOIRS OF

ether places have been thought of, but it is still un-
certain where we shall go. You will, perhaps,
hardly credit me when I tell you, that it is fully as
expensive living here as in America. I am disap-
pointed greatly in this respect. Some things are
cheap ; others very dear. As soon as we fix upon
a station, I am positive I shall write you to send
me a box of necessaries from America. Tell mamma
that my bed-quilt I shall value very highly. India
calico bears the same price here as in America.
English calicoes, an enormous price. Common
English stockings between 3 and 4 rupees. The
country stockings 1 rupee, and they are not worth
half that. Some articles of provision are very high,
and likewise house rent ; and yet we are told that,
no where in Asia can we live so cheap as here. We
have excellent accommodations at the Mission-house;
—indeed we have every thing at present to make
us happy. We shall remove to some rooms in the
Garden, when the Harmony appears, whore all our
brethren will be invited to stay till we leave Bengal.
I love these dear Missionaries very much. I never
expected so many kindnesses from them. Mrs
Marshman has a lovely school of English young*
ladies, where they are instructed in embroidery,
working muslin, and various other things. Miss,
Susan Marshman of 14, is studying Latin, Greek,
and Hebrew. Mrs Ward is a motherly woman,
very active and kind. Miss Hobson, a niece of Dr
C. from England, is here, a very pretty girh Lieu-
tenant Moxon from the Mahratta country is likewise
at the Mission-house. Mr Carapeit Aratoon, the
Armenian, and wife, are residing here. These,

MRS NEWELL. 167

with Drs Carey, Marshman, and Mr Ward's fami-
lies, and all the scholars, make the Mission family
immensely large. Serampore is a charming place.
We frequently walk out to admire its beauty. About
a week since I went to Gundle Parry, with Mrs
Ward and family, to visit Mrs Kemp, a charming
woman, much like our dear Mrs B. There I saw
something of Eastern luxury, so much celebrated.
We spent the day, returned home in the evening in
the budgerow, saw two dead bodies burning on the
shore, and a Bengalee wedding. Yesterday we
crossed the river at Barry-pore, and walked over
the Governor General's park ; saw the wild beasts,
variety of birds, &c. One of the most delightful
places I ever saw. Artificial hills and dales sup-
plied the want of real ones.

This is the rainy season, but very pleasant. It
is sometimes excessively hot ; but a shower of rain
sools the air. The jackalls make a tremendous
yell every night under our windows ; the noise is
like a young child in great distress. I find the
musquetoes very troublesome, though not so large
.and numerous as I expected. I have not seen one
snake yet. I bathe every day, which is very re-
freshing. I have not yet suffered half so much
from the heat as I calculated. I can sew or read
all day, except an hour or two at noon, very com-
fortably. I have often thought that you would like
the climate of Bengal. I think I shall enjoy at
least as good health here as in America. When I
first came here, I disliked all the fruit of the coun-
try but pine-apples, and those made me ill. The

168 MEMOIRS OF

mangoes, plaintains, guavas, &c. were all alike dis-
agreeable. But I love them all now.

We were obliged to submit to a great many in-
conveniences on our passage, and were exposed to
many dangers. But on the whole, I think no mis-
sionaries ever had a pleasanter voyage to the East
Indies. I used to think when on the water, that I
never should return to America again, let my cir-
cumstances in Asia be as bad as they could be. But
I think now, that the long tedious voyage would not
prevent my returning, if nothing else prevented.

Mr Robinson, one of the Baptist missionaries,
married a lady from Calcutta, about 15 years of age,
and set sail for Java. They slept in the open air
for a fortnight on deck ; were out in a violent storm,
and returned to Calcuta again. How different this
from our comfortable passage. Oh, that we might
be ever grateful to God for past favours, and learn
to trust Him for the time to come. Surely we,
above most others, have reason to say, ' Hitherto
hath the Lord helped us.'

I regret that time obliges me to be so short. But
you shall have letters by the Caravan sufficiently
long to make up for this short one. I will begin a
journal on the morrow, and write in it every day,
till I can send it you. I will not be so negligent
again. I have many letters partly written to friends,
but must leave them now. My time has been so
much occupied since our arrival, that I have scarcely
found leisure to write a line. I hope soon to be
more at liberty.

Do give love to Sarah, Caroline, Moses, Charles,

MRS NEWELL.

and Emily. I shall write them all by t" e Caravan,
and shall expect letters from every one of them.
Kiss them all for me. Dear, dear Elizabeth, must
I leave you ? But I shall talk with you again in A
week or two. Till then, and ever, I shall love to
call you my dear sister, and subscribe myself your

HARRIET.

TO A FEMALE FRIEND.

MANY have been the changes through which I
have passed, since I left my beloved country. I
have found many precious sources of enjoyment,
and have had some light afflictions. Our voyage
was comparatively short, but very tedious.

But one week after we left the harbour, the vessel
sprung a leak, and we were for some time under the
apprehension of perishing. Many gales of wind
threatened our vessel with instant destruction ; but
our gracious God preserved us from every danger,
and brought us in safety to these sultry shores,
where hundreds of missionaries are needed.

Though a mission among the Heathen is attended
with many difficulties and discouragements, yet I do
not feel sorry that I have joined the little company
engaged in one. Since I have been here, I have
been more decidedly positive than ever before, that
a pious female, deeply interested for the Heathen,
can greatly increase the usefulness of a missionary,
and promote the good of the mission. Let me give
you one instance of this truth. Mrs Marshman has
had twelve children ; (6 are dead, and 7 adopted

170 MEMOIRS OF

ones fill their places.) With this numerous family,
she has been engaged in a school for 13 years, con-
sisting of 20, 80, 40, and sometimes 50 children.
These children are mostly half-cast, i. e. their fa-
thers are Europeans, their mothers natives. The
good done in this school is incalculable. The chil-
dren are not only instructed in all the branches of
education taught in our American academics, but are
particularly instructed in the religion of the blessed
Gospel. I drank tea with her and her little family
a day or two since under a large tree.

EXTRACTS FROM HER DIARY.

I FEEL more and more willing to be any thing,
or to do any thing, that the cause of Jesus might
be prospered. I am not discouraged by the trials
of a missionary life.

July 15. Spent the greater part of this day in
my room alone. Mr N. went to Calcutta this
morning to carry letters to the captain of the ship
Francis. — Went with Mrs Ward to one of the mis-
sion buildings in the garden, to see the rooms intend-
ed for us. There are four convenient pretty rooms,
with bathing apartments, which they have kindly
offered us and our missionary company. In the
afternoon called upon Mrs M.* — The good woman,
as usual, busily engaged in her school. How firm
a constitution must she have, to occupy a station
attended with so many cares. At four P. M. ano-
ther message from government was received. Mr
N. and Mr J. ordered to appear before the police
* Mrs Marshman, we presume.

31 RS NEWELL. 171

again, to receive further commands. Mr J. imme-
diately took the Buggy [chaise] and set out for
Calcutta. In the evening went with Nancy,* and
Mrs W/s family, to the car of Juggernaut, which
stands in the road. A huge building five stories
high ; images painted all over it ; two large horses,
with a charioteer made of wood in front ; with
many wheels, drawn by the natives with large cables.
From the car we walked through the Bazar [market]
to the temple where the great god of the Hindoos is
now residing — a horrid object indeed ! Not allowed
to enter the temple ; but could see him plainly—
a log of wood, painted red, with large hideous eyes.
Little images were kept for sale in the Bazar. We
walked through an immense crowd of Hindoos home.
I was confused with the noise and bustle of the
place, and excessively wearied with my long walk.

July 16. Called with Mrs W. upon Mrs Cara-
peit, the Armenian. Mr Carapeit, has gone with
brother Kristno on a mission to Jessore — will be
absent four weeks. Mrs C. very ill ; can only talk
Hindostanee. Brother J. returned about sunset.
A letter from Mr Newell. He states that a collec-
tion has been made for us among the friends of
missions in Calcutta. Mr Thomason presented
500 rupees already collected.

How dark and intricate are the ways of Provi-
dence ! We are ordered by government to leave the
British territories, and return to America immedi-
ately. Captain H. will be ready to sail in three
weeks. He has requested a clearance, but it has
been absolutely refused him, unless we engage to
* Mrs Juclson.

172 MEMOIRS OP

leave India with him. Thus is our way hedged up ;
thus are all our prospects blasted. We cannot feel
that we are called in Providence to go to Birmah,
Every account we have from that savage, barbarous
nation, confirms us in our opinion, that the way is
not prepared for the spread of the Gospel there.
The viceroy would not hesitate to take away our
lives for the smallest offence. The situation of a
female is peculiarly hazardous. But where else can
we go ? Must we leave these Heathen shores ?
Must we be the instruments of discouraging all the
attempts of American Christians, to give these na-
tions the word of life ? My spirit faints within me.
These are trials great and unexpected.

9 6 dock. Just returned from family worship in
the chapel. My depressed spirits are a little re-
vived. The good Dr Marshman felt deeply inte-
rested for us, and has been interceding in our behalf.
Not mine, O Lord, but thy will be done. I know
that the gracious Redeemer will take care of his
own cause, and provide for the wants of his little
flock. How consoling this ; I will trust him, and
doubt no more.

July 17. I find that writing has become quite
pleasant now I am alone. My natural cheerfulness
has returned, and I hope I shall never again make
myself unhappy by anticipating future evils, and
distrusting the care of my heavenly Father. I
have been taking a solitary walk in the mission gar-
den; a charming retreat from the bustle of the
world How happy would a walk with my dear
absent mother, or dear brothers and sisters, make
me ; and yet much as I long for their society, I am.

31 RS NEWELL. 173

not willing to return to them. Yes, I am positively
unwilling to go to America, unless I am confident
that God has no work for me to do here. How far
preferable to me would be an obscure corner of this
Pagan land, where the wretched idolaters would
listen to the Gospel of Jesus, to all the glittering
splendour of a civilized land.

July 18. My dear Mr. N. returned last evening
fatigued in body and depressed in mind. There is
now no alternative left but a return to America, or
a settlement among some savage tribe, where our
lives would be in constant danger. Lord, we are
oppressed ; graciously undertake for us. We know
not which way to direct our steps. O that the
Harmony would arrive. Insurmountable obstacles
attend us on every side. Pity us, O ye friends of
Immanuel ; pity our perplexed situation, and inter-
cede with the prayer-hearing Redeemer for direction
in the path of duty.

A prayer- meeting in the mission chapel on our
account — the dear Baptist brethren deeply inte-
rested for us. Fervent were their prayers that
God would direct our steps ! Four prayers offered,
three hymns sung, one chapter read. The exer-
cises were all calculated to comfort our hearts.

I hear the distant sound of Heathen voices.
These miserable wretches are probably engaged in
some act of idol worship ; perhaps in conveying the
log of wood, which they call Juggernaut, to his
former place of residence. A conference in the
chapel this evening. The bell calls us to breakfast
at eight in the morning. Immediately after, we
have worship in the phapel. At half past one we
p %

174

MEMOIRS OF

dine, at seven drink tea, go directly to the chapel
again. Sabbath morning and evening service in
English ; afternoon in Bengalee. Monthly prayer-
meeting, Monday morning. Weekly prayer meet-
ing, Tuesday evening. A lecture for the chil-
dren, Wednesday evening. A conference Saturday
evening.

WITH respect to the climate, manners of the
people, &c. we have selected from Mrs NewelPs
journal the following particulars :

July 18. Excessively warm weather ; but not so
hot as the last July in America. The Bengal
houses are made so as to admit all the air stirring.
In the room where I now keep there are four large
windows, the size of American doors, with Venetian
blinds, and three folding doors. There are no glass
windows. A bathing house is commonly connected
with each lodging-room, and verandas to walk in, in
the cool of the day. The floors of the houses are
made of stone ; the partitions and walls white washed.

July 20. From nine to eleven last evening I
spent in walking in the garden with Mr Newell. I
do not suffer the least inconvenience from the even-
ing air in this country. When on the ocean, we
were very cautious of tfie least exposure ; but here,
physicians, and every1 one else, advise walking in
the evening. The jackalls are all that I am afraid
of here.

Mr Judson preached yesterday morning; Mr
Ward in the Bengalee, afternoon ; Mr Newell in
the evening. Some good people from Calcutta

MRS NEWELL. 175

present at worship, a large collection of hearers, all
very attentive. Dr Marshman returned to-day from
Calcutta. Brought us some intelligence which has
revived our spirits a little. He has had some con-
versation with Mr Rickets, the secretary, about us.
He said the Caravan should have leave to depart, if
we would engage to leave the British territories,
and that possibly we might have leave to go to the
Isle of France or Madagascar. So then we shall
not go to America in the Caravan, but wait the
arrival of our dear brethren in the Harmony, and
then conclude which way to direct our steps. The
Lord is merciful, and full of compassion.

July 21. Intend going to Calcutta to-morrow,
should the weather permit. I like the climate of
Bengal much. I do not long for a seat by an Ameri-
can fire-side, nor for pleasant winter-evenings, as I
once thought I should ; but feel perfectly contented
and satisfied with this hot, sultry weather. I am
obliged to guard against heating my blood by walk-
ing in the sun, or by using too violent exercise.
Fevers, and the prickly heat, are in consequence of
this imprudence. Rosy cheeks are never seen in
India, except where a lady uses paint.

July 24. Went early on Wednesday morning in
the mission budgerow to Calcutta, k*; company with
brother and sister Judson, Lieutenant Moxon, Miss
Hobson, and Mr Newell. Spent the day and night
at Dr Carey ""s house. The air of this confined place
does not agree with me ; a severe head-ache kept me
all day within doors. Wednesday morning, break-
fasted with Captain Heard at his house. I hope my
dear mother and other friends will have an opportu-

no MEMOIRS OF

irity of seeing and thanking him on his return for
his kindness to us. Heard of Mr Thomson's death
of Madras. He had received positive orders from
government to return to England, chargeable with
no other crime than that of preaching the gospel.
He has now gone to his everlasting home, and will
trouble his opposers no more. Tired of the confu-
sion and noise of Calcutta, I reached Serampore last
evening. Found friends to welcome our return.
Why these great favours ? Mr and Mrs Robinson,
Mr and Mrs Moore and family at the mission house.
Mrs R. the second wife of Mr R. is about 15 years
of age, country born ; i. e. has an English father
and native mother., Mr and Mrs M. a charming
couple, are stationed at Patna ; have come hither
on account of their health.

July 25. I have become a little familiarized to the
sound of the Bengalee language. It has become
quite natural to say chene for sugar, tony for water,
&c. &c. One servant's name is Bozu, another Lol,
another Golove, another Ram Done. Ram is the
name of one of their gods, and is therefore often
added to their own name..

July 26. I am happy in finding, that the expec-
tations of my American friends, respecting my health
in India, will r,>t be disappointed. I think I can
say, that I never felt so strong in the summer sea-
son, nor ever had such an excellent appetite, as since
1 have been here. The weather is sometimes ex-
cessively hot and sultry, but to me not uncomfort-
able.

July 27. Moved last Friday to a retired, pretty
room in the garden. Letters from the brethren at

MRS NEWELL. 177

the Isle of France. Rejoice to hear of their safe ar-
rival there. Long to see them. They will undoubt-
edly be here in a few days. How welcome will their
arrival be to us. Mr Newell, Mr Judson, and Nancy
[Mrs Judson] went to Calcutta this morning. Ano-
ther order from government received last Saturday ;
and now our fate will be decided. I long to know
the result. I do not intend to have one anxious
feeling about our future destiny. I know that
the cause of Zion is precious to the blessed Jesus,
and that he will provide graciously for those who
trust in him. I have spent the day alone.

July 28. I love dear Mrs Ward more and more
every day. She is remarkably obliging and kind to
us. I go constantly to her for advice. Mr Newell
returned this afternoon from Calcutta. We have
obtained liberty from the East India Company to go
to the Isle of France. A vessel will sail for that
place next Saturday, commanded by Captain Chim-
minant, a serious man. But he cannot accommodate
us with a passage. No other vessel is expected to
sail at present. We hear that the English Gover-
nor favours missions ; that a large field for useful-
ness is there opened; 18,000 inhabitants ignorant
of Jesus. Is not this the station that Providence
has designed for us ? A door is open wide, shall we
not enter and begin the glorious work ? This must
be a subject for fervent prayer.

July 29- A world of changes this ! Early this
morning brother Judson called at our room, unex-
pectedly from Calcutta. Captain Chimminant has
agreed to carry two of us in his vessel, to the Isle
of France, for 600 rupees. Sail next Saturday.

ITS MEMOIRS OP

How can such a favourable opportunity be neglected?
Halted long between two opinions. If we go we
shall relinquish the pleasure of meeting the dear
brethren, and sister Roxana [Mrs Nott.] Perhaps
we shall never see them more. They may conclude
to labour in some distant part of the Lord's vine-
yard, and we be separated from them through life.
I shall go far away, without one single female ac-
quaintance ; the dangers of a long voyage must be
hazarded at a critical period. But here let me stop,
and review all the way in which God has led me,
since I left my mother's house, and the land of my
birth. How have I been surrounded with mercies !
What precious favours have I received ! And shall
I doubt ? Oh, no ; my heart gladdens at the thought
of commencing with my ever dear companion the
missionary work, and of entering upon missionary
trials and arduous engagements. So plain have
been the leadings of Providence thus far, that I
cannot doubt its intimations. I will go, leaning on
the Lord,, and depending on him for direction, sup-
port, and happiness. We shall leave the dear mis-
sion family at Serampore, when another rising sun
dispels the darkness of the night. Have packed all
our things to-day ; fatigued much, and very sleepy.
The wanderer and the stranger will, ere long, repose
sweetly on the bosom of Jesus. It is sweet to be
a stranger and a wanderer for such a friend as this.
A valuable present from my dear Mrs Marshman.
Thus are all my wants supplied. O for more thank-
fulness ! When will this heart of adamant be sus-
ceptible of stronger emotions of gratitude ? Bless
the Lord, O my dear American friends, for his

MRS NEWELL. 179

kindness to me a stranger hi a strange land. O
pray that these abundant mercies may melt me into
deep contrition.

July 30. I have this morning taken my leave of
my dear Serampore friends. After a visit of six
weeks, I regret parting with them exceedingly.
But such are the changes of this changing world.
Friends must be separated; the parting tear will
often flow. How consoling the hope, that there is
a world where separation will be for ever unknown.
A pleasant time in going from Serampore to Cal-
cutta in the budgerow, with brother Judson and Mr
Newell. AVent on board the ship ; much pleased
with the accommodations. Our birth is on deck, a
cool, pretty place. Dined at Dr Carey's; spent
the afternoon at Mr Myers's, a charming family,
willing to assist us in every thing. Mr and Mrs
Moore now residing with them. Drank tea with
Mrs Thomson, one of the kindest, best of women.
More money collected for us. Mrs T. has provided
me with many necessaries. Went to church with
Mr and Mrs T. in the evening; a most elegant
church ; heard Mr T. preach.

•w».-vvvvvv«.

TO HER SISTER C.

Serampore, July 1812.
My ever dear sister C.

I CANNOT forget you among the numerous friends
I have in America, but must say a few words to
you, though in great haste. Can it be possible that
I shall never see you again in this world? Have
we then parted to meet no more this side eternity ?
We probably have. But what is this short separa-

180 MEMOIRS OF

tion ? Nothing, when compared to eternal separation,
which will take place at the last day, between the
friends and enemies of Jesus. My dear C. listen,
I entreat you, to a sister who loves you, who ar-
dently wishes for your everlasting happiness. Make
the Friend of sinners your friend, now while an op-
portunity is presented. Oh, let not the adversary
of souls cheat you out of an interest in the Saviour !
Gladden the heart of your dear widowed mother, of
saints and angels, by becoming a devout and holy
follower of Jesus. Mamma has no child now to go
with her to the sacramental supper ; will not our
dear C. renounce the world and all its vanities, em-
brace religion, and in the morning of her life openly
consecrate herself to God ? Think how much good
you might do among your dear brothers and sisters.
Perhaps you might, be made the instrument of res-
cuing them from endless death. It may possibly
be that I may never write you again ; will you not
then, my dear girl, seriously think of these things ?
I hope we shall meet in heaven after death, no more
to part. But we never shall, unless our hearts are
renewed, and we are made the friends of Immanuel
in the present life.

Farewell, my dear girl ; comfort the heart of your
mother, and make her declining days as happy as
possible. Do write me. From your sister

HARRIET.

EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER TO HER MOTHER.
* Dear Mother, Calcutta, July 31, 1812.

* WITH a week's employment before me this day.

MBS NEWELL. 181

I take my pen to write you a few lines. By reading
my inclosed journal you will become acquainted with
our reasons for leaving Bengal and going to the
Isle of France. We sail early to-morrow morning ;
have furniture and a thousand little necessaries to
get to-day.'

* I go without one female companion ; but I go
with renewed courage, rejoicing that the Lord has
opened us a way to work for him. 1 have received
favours unmerited, unexpected, and great.'

* My health is really excellent ; I never felt so
well in America.'

After stating that the inhabitants of the Isle of
France are chiefly French, she observes, ' I long to
engage in the great object for which I left my home.
I shall begin to study the French language with Mr
N. on the passage. Capt. Chimminant talks French.

* ' Oh, for more ardent piety !' '

The following letter from Mr Newell to Mrs At-
wood, completes the affecting history of Mrs Newell.

« Port Louis (Isle of France), Dec. 10, 1812.

' ON account of the unhappy war between us and
England, it is probable I shall have no opportunity
for a long time of sending directly to America. I
inclose this letter to Joseph Hardcastle, Esq. of
London, depending on his benevolence to pay the
postage at the General Post Office there, without
which it would not be forwarded. I beg your parti-
cular attention to this circumstance, because it is
the reason why my letter is not longer, and also the

Q

182 MEMO! IIS OF

reason why I do not write to my other friends.
You will oblige me by informing my friends of this ;
particularly Drs Woods, Griffin, and Worcester.

' When I sit down to address you, my dear mo-
ther, from this distant land, to me a land of strangers
and a place of exile, a thousand tender thoughts arise
in my mind, and naturally suggest such inquiries as
these : How is it now with that dear woman to
whom I am indebted for my greatest earthly bless-
ing — the mother of my dear Harriet ? And mine
too ; (for I must claim the privilege of considering
you as my own dear mother.) Does the candle of
the Lord still shine on her tabernacle, and is the
voice of joy and praise yet heard in her dwelling ?
— or, what is not improbable in this world of disap-
pointment, has some new affliction, the death perhaps
of a dear child, or of some other beloved friend,
caused her heart again to bleed and her tears to
flow ? Ah ! my mother, though we may live many
years, and see good in them all, yet let us remem-
ber the days of darkness, for they too will be many,
It is decreed by Infinite Wisdom alone, that through
much tribulation we must center into the kingdom of
heaven. You, my dear mother, have had your
share of adversity ; and I too have had mine. But
we will not complain. Sanctified afflictions are the
choicest favours of Heaven. They cure us of our
vain and foolish expectations from the world, and
teach our thoughts and affections to ascend and fix
on joys that never die. I never longed so much to
see you as I have these several days past. What
would I now give to sit one hour by that dear f) re-
side, where I have tasted the most unalloyed pica-

MRS XEWELL.

183

sure that earth affords, and recount to you and the
dear children, the perils, the toils, and the suffer-
ings, through which I have passed since I left my
native land. In this happy circle I should for a

moment forget .

' Yes, my dear friends, I v/ould tell you how God
has disappointed our favourite schemes, and blasted
our hopes of preaching Christ in India, and has
sent us all away from that extensive field of useful-
ness, with an intimation that he has nothing for us
to do there, while he has suffered others to enter in
and reap the harvest. I would tell how he has
visited us all with sickness^ and how he has afliicted
me in particular by taking away the dear little babe
which he gave us, the child of our prayers, of our
hopes, of our tears. I would tell you — but, Oh !
shall I tell it or forbear ?

6 Have courage my mother, God will support you
under this trial ; though it may for a time cause your
very heart to bleed. Come then, let us mingle our
griefs, and weep together ; for she was dear to us
both ; and she too is gone. Yes, Harriet, your
lovely daughter is gone, and you will see her face
no more ! Harriet, my own dear Harriet, the wife
of my youth, and the desire of my eyes, has bid me
a last farewell, and left me to mourn and weep !
Yes, she is gone. I wiped the cold sweat of death
from her pale, emaciated face, while we travelled
together down to the entrance of the dark valley.
There she took her upward flight, and I saw her
ascend to the mansions of the blessed ! O Harriet !
Harriet ! for thou wast very dear to me. Thy last

184 MEMOIRS OF

sigh tore my heart asunder, and dissolved the
charm which tied me to earth.

* But I must hasten to give you a more particu-
lar account of the repeated afflictions with which
God has visited me.

* Harriet enjoyed good health from the time we
left you, until we embarked on our voyage from
Calcutta to the Isle of France; (excepting those
slight complaints which are common to females in
her situation). During the week previous to our
sailing for this place, she went through much fa-
tigue in making numerous calls on those dear
friends in Calcutta, who were anxious to see her,
and who kindly furnished her with a large supply
of those little things which she was soon expected
to want, and which ©n account of her succeeding ill-
ness, she would not have been able to prepare on the
voyage. The fatigue of riding in a palanquin, in
that unhealthy place, threw her into a fever, which
commenced the day after we were on board. She
was confined about a week to her couch, but after-
ward recovered, and enjoyed pretty good health.
We left Calcutta on the 4th of August, but on ac-
count of contrary winds and bad weather, we were
driven about in the Bay of Bengal without making
much progress during the whole of that month.
On or about the 27th, it was discovered that the
vessel had sprung a leak ; and on the 30th, the leak
had increased to such an alarming degree, as to
render our situation extremely perilous. A consul-
tation of the officers was called, and it was deter-
mined to put about immediately, and make the

MRS NEWELL. 185

nearest port, which was Coringa, a small town on
the Coromandel coast, about 60 miles south of
Vizigapatam. We got safe into port on Saturday
Sept. 5th. The vessel was found to be in a very
bad case."1

[Four days before the arrival of the vessel in port,
Mrs Xewell was seized with severe pain in the sto-
mach and bowels, the disease of the country ; but
in three days after going on shore, she was so far
recovered as to write thus in her journal : f Have
been able to sit up most of the day. Begin to look
around me a little ; find myself again surrounded
with Hindoo cottages, and the tawny natives as
thick as bees."* On the 19th of September they re-
embarked, and Mrs N. enjoyed comfortable health
till nearly three weeks after leaving Coringa, and
about three weeks before reaching the Isle of France,
when she became the joyful mother of a fine healthy
daughter. Four days after, in consequence of a
severe storm of wind and rain, the child took cold,
and died on the evening of the next day, after
having been devoted to God in baptism.

On the 14th of October, Mr N. writes thus in his
journal : ' About eight o'clock last evening, our
dear little Harriet expired in her mother's arms. A
sweet child. Though she had been but five days
with us, it was painful, inexpressibly painful, espe-
cially to the mother, to part with her. To-day,
witli many tears, we committed her to a watery
grave. " So fades the lovely blooming flower,' &c,
May God sanctify this bereavement to us, and Oh,
may he spare my dear wife !

About a week after Mrs N/s confinement, the

186

MEMOIRS OF

symptoms of a consumption appeared. Though
Mr N. feared the worst, he did not consider her
case as fatal, till the last fortnight of her life, which
commenced about ten days after their arrival at the
Isle of France. Mr N. immediately on their arri-
val, called in the aid of Dr Burke, the chief sur-
geon of the British army in that island, and of Dr
Walluz, a Danish physician, a friend with whom
they had become acquainted at Serampore, who had
lately buried his wife in Bengal, and had come to
the Isle of France fo? his health. There was but
little alteration in Mrs N.'s health, (excepting that
she gradually lost strength) till about a fortnight
before her death, when she declined more rapidly,
and all hope of her recovery was extinguished.
About four o'clock P. M. on Monday, the 30th of
November, her eye-sight failed her, soon after which
she calmly, and with apparent ease, expired, seven
weeks and four days after her confinement. These
events, with all the attending circumstances, are
related by Mr N. with great tenderness and particu-
larity. He then proceeds as follows :]

' There, my dear mother, I have finished the
story of Harriet's sufferings. Let us turn from the
tale of woe to a brighter scene ; one that will glad-
den your heart, as I am sure it does mine. During
this long series of sufferings, the bare recital of
which must affect every feeling heart, she meekly
yielded to the will of her Heavenly Father, without
one murmuring word. ' My wicked heart,' she
writes, ' is inclined to think it hard, that I should
suffer such fatigue and hardship. 1 sinfully envy
those whose lot it is to live in tranquillity on land-

MRS NEWELL. 187

Happy people ! Ye know not the toils and trials of
voyagers across the rough and stormy deep. Oh for
a little Indian hut on land ! But hush my warring
passions ; it is for Jesus who sacrificed the joys of
his Father's kingdom, and expired on a cross to re-
deem a fallen world, that thus I wander from place
to place, and feel no where at home. How reviving
the thought ! How great the consolation it yields
to my sinking heart ! I will cherish it, and yet be
happy.'

* In view of those sufferings which she afterwards
experienced, she writes thus : ' I hope to reach the
place of our destination in good health. But I feel
no anxiety about that. I know that God orders
every thing in the best possible manner. If He so
orders events, that I should suffer pain and sickness
on the stormy ocean, without a female friend, ex-
posed to the greatest inconveniences, shall I repine,
and think he deals hardly with me ? Oh no ! Let
the severest trials and disappointments fall to my lot,
guilty and weak as I am, yet I think I can rejoice
in the Lord, and joy in the God of my salvation.'

* In the first part of her sickness which succeeded
the birth^ our babe, she had some doubts^ which,
occasionally interrupted her spiritual comfort ; but
they were soon removed, and her mind was filled
with that peace of God which passeth all under-
standing. When I asked her, a few days before
she died, if she had any remaining doubts respecting
her spiritual state, she answered with an emphasis,
that she had none. During the whole of her sick-
ness she talked in the most familiar manner, and
with great delight, of the death and the glory that

188 MEMOIRS OF

was to follow. When Dr Burke one day told her,
those were gloomy thoughts, she had better get rid
of them ; she replied, that on the contrary they were
to her cheering and joyful beyond what she could
express. When I attempted to persuade her that
she would recover, (which I fondly hoped) it seemed
to strike her like a disappointment. She would
say, c You ought rather to pray that I may depart,
that I may be perfectly free from sin, and be where
God is.'

* Her mind was from day to day filled with the
most comforting and delightful views of the charac-
ter of God and Christ. She often requested me to
talk to her on these interesting subjects. She told
me that her thoughts were so much confused, and
her mind so much weakened, by the distress of body
she had suffered, that she found it difficult steadily
to pursue a train of thought on divine things, but
that she continually looked to God and passively
rested on him. She often spoke of meeting her
friends in Heaven. ' Perhaps,' said she, ' my dear
mother has gone before me to Heaven, and as soon
as I leave this body I shall find myself with herl
At another time she said, ' We often talk of meet-
ing our friends in Heaven ; but what would Heaven
be with all our friends, if God were not there.'

4 She longed exceedingly for the brethren to arrive
from India, that we might form ourselves into a
church, and celebrate the dying love of Jesus once
more before she died. Her desires to enjoy the
benefit of this ordinance were so strong, and our
situation so peculiar, that I thought a deviation
from the usage of our churches in this instance

MRS NEWELL. 189

would be justifiable ; and accordingly on the last
Sabbath in November, the day before she died, I
gave her the symbols of the body and blood of our
Lord ; and I trust it was a comfortable season to
us both.

' A few days before she died, after one of those
distressing turns of coughing and raising phlegm,
which so rapidly wasted her strength, she called me
to come and sit on the bed beside her, and receive
her dying message to her friends. She observed, ^
that her strength was quite exhausted, and she could ,
say only a few words; but feared she should not
have another opportunity. ' Tell my dear mother,'
said she, ' how much Harriet loved her. Tell her
to look to God and^aeep near to Him, and He will
support and comfort her in all her trials. I shall
meet her in heaven, for surely she is one of the dear
children of God.' She then turned to her brothers
and sisters. ' Tell them,' said she, ' from the lips
of their dying sister, that there is nothing but reli-
gion worth living for. Oh .l exhort them to attend
immediately to the care of their precious, immortal
souls. Tell them not to delay repentance. The
eldest of them will be anxious to know how I now
feel with respect to missions. Tell them, and also
my dear mother, that I have never regretted leaving
my native land for the cause of Christ. Let my
dear brothers and sisters know, that I love them to
the last. I hope to meet them in heaven ; but Oh,
if I should not' — Here the tears burst from her
eyes, and her sobs of grief at the thought of an
eternal separation, expressed the feelings that were
too big for utterance. After she had recovered a

190 MEMOIRS OP

little from the shock, which these strong emotions
had given to her whole frame, she attempted to speak
of several other friends, but was obliged to sum up
all she had to say in c Love and an affectionate
farewell to them all.' Within a day or two of her
death, such conversation as the following passed be-
tween us.

' Should you not be willing to recover, and live
a while longer here ?

' On some accounts it would be desirable. I wish
to do something for God before I die. But the ex-
perience I have had of the deceitfulriess of my heart
leads me to expect, that if T should recover, my
future life would be much the same as my past has
been, and I long to be perfectly free from sin.
God has called me away before we have entered on
the work of the mission, but the case of David af-
fords me comfort ; I have had it in my heart to do
what I can for the Heathen, and I hope God will
accept me.

' But what shall I do, when you are gone ? How
can I bear the separation ?

* Jesus will be your best friend, and our separa-
tion will be short. We shall soon, very soon, meet
in a better world ; if I thought we should not, it
would be painful indeed to part with you.

' How does your past life appear to you now ?

6 Bad enough ; but that only makes the grace of
Christ appear the more glorious.

' Jesus, thy blood and righteousness
My beauty arc, my heavenly dress ;
Midst flaming worlds in these array'd,
With joy shall I lift up my head.'

MRS NEWELL. 191

w When I told her that she could not live through
the next day, she replied, ' Oh, joyful news ; I
long to depart/ Sometime after, I asked her, « How
does death appear to you now ?' She replied, ' Glo-
rious ; truly welcome.1 During Sabbath night she
seemed to be a little wandering ; but the next morn-
ing she had her recollection perfectly. As I stood
by her, I asked if she knew me. At first she made
no answer. I said to her again, ' My dear Harriet,
do you know who I am ?' My dear Mr Newell,
my husband," was her reply ; but in broken accents
and a voice faltering in death.

4 The last words which I remember, and which I
think were the last she uttered relative to her de-
parture, were these, ' The pains, the groans, the
dying strife." — ' How long, O Lord, how long !'

6 But I must stop, for I have already exceeded
the bounds of a letter, though I have come far short
of doing justice to the dying deportment of this dear
friend. Oh ! may my last end be like her's. — I
would now proceed to discharge the duty, which
Harriet's dying request imposed on me, of adminis-
tering consolation to you, and of beseeching the
clear children to make a right improvement of this
afflicting dispensation ; but I hope the God of all
consolation will himself wipe away your tears, and
fill your heart with comfort; and that Harriet's
dying in treaties, and tears, and sighs, may be carried
by the Spirit of Truth to the hearts of the children,
and of her other young friends, and may fasten con-
viction on their minds, and engage them to follow her
so far as she followed Christ. With these hopes, I
must at present bid them all an affectionate farewell.

19£ MEMOIRS OP

' Harriet offered to give me her property by will,
but I declined accepting it. She then proposed be-
queathing a part of it to the Board of Commissioners,
but my time was so completely taken up in attend-
ing on her, that I had no opportunity of having a
will duly executed till it was too late.

c The brethren in Bengal have written to me.
The Harmony arrived in Calcutta a few days after
I left there ; the brethren all ordered away, as we
were. They are coming hither, and I daily expect
them. Madagascar is the probable seat of the mis-
sion ; but this is not certain. Brother and sister
Judson have become Baptists, have been immersed
at Calcutta, and of course will not come with the
rest. They have all been sick.

( Perhaps you may censure me, my dear mother,
for leaving Serampore before Harriet's confinement.
I wish I had time to answer you fully on this head ;
but I can only say she did not expect to be confined
short of three or four months from the time of our
departure ; that the usual length of a voyage to the
Isle of France, is not half that period ; that Bengal
is the most sickly place in all India, and this is the
most healthy spot in the eastern world ; and that it
was the unanimous advice of all our friends that we
should go. Brother Judson would then have em-
braced the opportunity had I declined it.

4 1 have now one request to make, and then I will
close. Dr Woods and Dr Griffin will both see this
letter. I wish one of them to preach a sermon on
this occasion ; that it be published ; and that an en-
graving, prepared from Harrietts miniature, be pre-
fixed, and a short account of her sickness and death

MRS NEWELL. 193

be added. Do let my request be granted. It will
do good. It may be the means of converting many
of Harriet's dear young friends, and it will, I h pe
some time or other reach me.

4 1 thank Dr Woods a thousand times for his ser-
mon on the death of Mrs Church, as well as for his
Missionary sermon, which last I received by way of
Calcutta. My dear, dear mother, I must bid you
farewell. God Almighty bless you, and reward you
& hundred fold for all your kindness to me. Do not
forget me ; I shall never forget you. Write when-
ever you have opportunity. I send my love to all
my acquaintance, and to all Harriet's friends, for her
sake. My ever dear mother, I remain yours affec-
tionately, SAMUEL NEWELL.'

Mrs M. Atwood.

Mr Newell inclosed a fragment, (from which the
following sentences are taken) in Mrs N.'s own hand.
It is the commencement of a letter which she began
to write to her mother, but which she was never able
to resume. During the former part of her voyage
from Calcutta to the Isle of France, she wrote oc-
casionally in her Diary, as appears by extracts made
from it in the foregoing letter.

« Port Louis, (Isle of France,) Nov. 3. 1812.
* My ever dear Mother,

' SINCE I wrote you last I have been called by

God to rejoice and weep ; for afflictions and mercies

have both alternately fallen to my lot. I address

you now from a bed of great weakness, perhaps for

&

194 MEMOIftS OF

the last time. Yes, my dear mamma, I feel this
mud-walled cottage shake, and expect ere long to
become an inhabitant of the world of spirits. Eter-
nity, I feel, is just at hand. But let me give you
some account of God^s dealings with me, which I
shall do at intervals, as strength will admit."

[After mentioning the birth of a daughter, with
fond anticipations of happiness, she adds the follow-
ing sentences, which are the last she wrote.]

6 On the cabin floor, with no other attendant but
my dear Mr Newell, we could weep for joy, and call
ourselves the happiest of the happy. But alas ! on
the evening of the fifth day the dear object of our
Jove was snatched from us by death, and on the day
following committed to its watery grave. Heart-
rending stroke to a parental heart ! Mine almost
bled with deep anguish'

Mr Newell, apprehending that the foregoing letter
might not reach America, wrote a letter to Mr A.
Hardy, with a view to repeat the substance of what
he had before written. Extracts from this letter are
here added.

« Port Louis, (Isle of France) Pel. 23. 1813.
' My dear Brother,

' I WROTE to our dear mother, Mrs Atwood, in
December, by way of London. As that may fail, I
shall briefly recapitulate some things which in that
I stated at length. We were all ordered away from
India by Government. I embarked with Harriet
for this place, in August. We had a most disas-
trous voyage. On the Sih of October, H. was de-

MRS NEWELL. 193

livered of a daughter, three weeks before we arrived
here. Our dear babe took cold and died suddenly
on the 13th, five days old. Harriet took cold at
the same time, being exposed to a violent storm of
wind and rain. The cold settled on her lungs, and
terminated in a consumption. She rapidly wasted
away, and on the 30th of November, ended her
days in this place. Two physicians beside myself,
attended her during her sickness. It would be gra-
tifying here to relate the exercises of her mind dur-
ing her illness, and at the hour of her death ; but I
have time only to say, that she died rejoicing in the
sure prospect of eternal ljfi'y through the blood and
righteousness of Jesus Christ. Thus, my dear
brother, I have been called "to lay my beloved Har-
riet in her lowly bed, within the short period of ten?
months from the day of our marriage. I have bu-
ried both my parents, and several near relatives ;
but I never knew the bitterness of grief till I saw
my dear wife expire. It is now about three months
since she died ; and I feel my loss more deeply than
when I followed her to the grave. I trust that this
very afflicting stroke of Providence has been sancti-
fied to me. I feel more like a pilgrim and stranger
on earth, and 1 long to finish my work and be away.
But I must not spend time in describing my feel-
ings on this mournful occasion ; you can easily ima-
gine all that I would say.

6 1 have one request to make of you — comfort our
dear mother. Tell her that her dear Harriet never
repented of any sacrifice she had made for Christ ;
that on her dying bed ' she was comforted with the
thought of having had it urher heart to do some-

196 MEMOIRS OF, &C.

thing for the Heathen, though God had seen fit to
take her away before we entered on our work."* Tell
that dear woman, that Harriets bones have taken
possession of' the promised land^ and rest in glorious
hope of the final a i universal triumph of Jesus
over the gods of this wld.

* Give my love to a. our friends. How glad
should I be to see you all ! Tell little Aaron about
my dear babe ; we called her Harriet Atwood in her
baptism. Poor thing, she found a watery grave.
Mary, my dear sister, do not grieve too much for
Harriet ; she is well now. O may we be counted
worthy to meet her in the mansions of the blessed !
Dear creature, she comforted me with this hope on
her dying bed ; and this blissful hope is worth more
to me than all the wealth of India.

Farewell.

SAMUEL NEWELL.'

APPENDIX.

No. I.

A Sermon delivered on occasion of the lamented
Death of Mrs HARRIET NEWELL. By LEONARD
WOODS, D. D.

MATTHEW xix. 29*

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren^
or sisters, or father, or mother, or ivife, or children,
or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundred
fold ; and shall inherit everlasting life.

THE Scripture suras up all that is in the world under
three heads ; * the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye,
and the pride of life.' According to this, it has been
common to make a threefold division of natural men ;
the sensual, the covetous, and the ambitious. But our
blessed Lord, in the text, exhibits a character widely
different; a character formed on another principle; a
character altogether superior to any thing which can
result from man's unrenewed nature. The devoted
Christian is born of the Spirit. All his moral beauty, his
usefulness, and enjoyment, are the work of divine grace.

But where shall we find the singular character ex-
hibited in the text ? I answer, in every place, and in
every condition of life, where we find true religion.

The poor cottager, far removed from public notice,
and destined to the meanest employment, possesses
this character. He gives himself and all that he has

198 APPENDIX.

to the Lord. He loves Christ above his cottage, his
food, and his rest, and is ready to part with them all
for his sake. In the sight of God, that same poor man
forsakes all for Christ. He who can forsake his sins,
and resist the claims of corrupt passion, performs, to
say the least, as difficult a service, as to forsake houses,
brethren, and lands. The poor man, who has little to
07 VP, and much to bear, frequently shows the self-de-
nying spirit of religion to the greatest advantage. In
his heart often burns as pure a flame of love and zeal,
as in the heart of an Apostle. It may not be visible
to the world : but it is visible to Him who seeth in
secret. His prayers are animated by fervent affection
for God and man ; and when he contributes his mite
for the advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom, he
does it with a heart large enough to part with millions.
The character here exhibited belongs to the devoted
Christian who is possessed of opulence. Though he
does not literally forsake houses and lands, he uses
them for the glory of Christ. And as he supremely
regards the divine glory, and uses the things of this
world in subserviency to it, he is ready, when duty
calls, to surrender them for the same object. To use
riches for Christ, and to forsake them for Christ, evince
the same elevation above self-interest, and the same
devotedness to the cause of God. He, then, who
values his estate for Christ's sake, and uses it for the
advancement of his cause, has the same disposition and
character with those, who for the same object actually
suffer the loss of all things. In heart he gives his
earthly all to Christ ; saying with sincerity, here Lord,
I am ; and here are my possessions. I yield them all
to thee. 1 will either use them, or part with them, for
thy sake, as thou wilt. Animated with such sentiments,
he esteems it comparatively loss, to do any thing with

APPENDIX. 1 99

his property, which tends merely to secure his private
advantage ; while he esteems that, as the best use of
his property, which tends most to advance the kingdom
of Christ. It is for the sake of that kingdom that he
values his earthly possessions. Take away that king-
dom, and his possessions lose their highest worth.

The character presented in the text clearly belongs
to every faithful minister of the Gospel, even in the
most peaceful days Whatever may be his earthly
prospects, he cheerfully resigns them for Christ's sake.
The love of Christ bears him on. He declines no la-
bour, no sacrifice, no suffering. He foregoes indulgence
and ease. In private he gives himself to reading, me-
ditation, and prayer. In public, he preaches the word,
and is instant in season, and out of season. Worldly
pursuits he totally abandons, and sets his affections on
the kingdom of Christ. * If I forget thee,' he says,
' O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.'

This character is strikingly exhibited by a devoted
Christian in times of persecution. He feels as Paul did,
when his friends, anxious for his safety, besought him
not to go to Jerusalem. ' What mean ye,' he said,
to weep, and to break mine heart ? For I am ready
not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for
the name of the Lord Jesus.' Times of persecution
and distress, have a favourable influence upon Christian
character. In such seasons, as the prospect of earthly
happiness is overcast, the followers of Christ are led
to a more serious contemplation of the heavenly inhe-
ritance, and naturally form a stronger and more ope-
rative attachment to that kingdom in which their all
is contained. They are reduced to the necessity of
feeling that they have no other interest, and no hope
of enjoyment from any odier quarter. Accordingly,
they make a more unreserved surrender of every thing

£00 APPENDIX.

for Christ, and become more consistent and more de*
cided in their religious character. In the discharge
of difficult duties they have less hesitation. They are
less ensnared by the friendship of the world, and less
awed by its frowns. The prospect of suffering, as it
becomes familiar to their minds, ceases to move them.
To give up the interests and pleasures of the world
for the sake of Christ, becomes habitual and easy. It
costs them no struggle, and no sigh. They are pre-
pared to encounter any trial, even a violent death,
without fear or reluctance. Yea, they rejoice in their
sufferings, and gladly Jill up what is wanting of the af-
flictions of Christ in their flesh, for his body's saket
which is the Church.

The Christian Missionary, whose motives are as sub-
lime as his office, forsakes ail for Christ in a remarkable
sense. The proof which he gives of devotion to
Christ, is indeed of the same nature with that which
other Christians give ; but it is higher in degree.
Others forsake the world in affection, but enjoy it stilU
He renounces the enjoyment as well as the attachment*
Other Christians esteem Christ above friends and pos-
sessions, and yet retain them far enough for the grati-
fication of their natural affections. The Missionary,
who has a right spirit, counteracts and mortifies na-
tural affection, by actually abandoning its dearest
objects. The distinction in short is this : other Chris-
tians have a willingness to forsake all for Christ ; the
Missionary actually forsakes all. The cause of Christ
among the Heathen possesses attractions above all
other objects. It has the absolute control of his heart.
He forsakes father and mother, house and land, not
because he is wanting in affection for themt but because
he loves Christ more. He forsakes them, because his
heart burns with the holy desire, that Christ may have

APPENDIX. 201

the Heathen for his inheritance, and the uttermost
parts of the earth for his possession.

The wife of a Missionary, when influenced by the
Spirit of Christ, gives still more remarkable evidence
of self denial and devotion ; — evidence, I say. mure re-
markable, because for her to forsake friends and coun-
try, is an instance of greater self denial. The tie,
which binds her to her relatives and her home, is
stronger. Her mind is more delicate in its construc-
tion ; more sensible to the tenderness of natural rela-
tions, and to the delights of domestic life. When,
therefore, she forsakes all, for the name of Christ, she
makes a higher effort ; she offers a more costly sacri-
fice; and thus furnishes a more conspicuous proof,
that her love to Christ transcends all earthly affection.

My friends, have I been entertaining you with vi-
sions and dreams? Or have I been teaching realities?
If you admit the truth of the Bible, you must admit
that men of the character above described, have existed
in ail ages of Christianity. Indeed, no other can be
acknowledged as disciples of Christ. For he himself
has declared, that whosoever forsaketh not all that he
hath, cannot be his disciple. And again, to teach us in
the most forcible manner, that our affection for all
other objects must fall below our affection for him, he
says ; — If any one come to me, and hate not his father,
and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren,
and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my
disciple. However severe and impossible these condi-
tions of discipleship may seem, they have often been
performed. Yea, there are multitudes who daily per-
form them, and to whom the performance appears not
only just, but pleasant Multitudes, now on earth,
have that supreme love for the Lord Jesus, which
leaves little of the heart for any thing else. When

APPENDIX.

they enlisted into the service of Christ, they engaged
to follow him, though at the expence of every earthly
interest. In the very act of faith, there is an implicit
forsaking of all things for Christ. So that when the
trial comes, and they really forsake all things on his
accpunt. they only do in open act, what they did
in heart before. When they are called to surrender
all things, even life itself, for Christ's sake, they are
not called to perform a new condition, to which they
did not consent in the first exercise of faith. They
made choice of Christ and his ways, Christ and his
cross. Had they certainly known, when they first re-
ceived Christ, that they did it at the expenee of every
earthly good, they would not have received him wUh
any less cordiality and joy. Paul knew from the first,
that he must sacrifice every thing for Christ ; — which,
in his view, was only parting with trifles to purchase a
pearl of great price. * What things were gain to me,
those I counted loss for Christ. Yea, doubtless, and I
count all things loss for the excellency of the knowledge
of Christ Jesus my Lord ; for whom I have suffered the
loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I
may win Christ.' Such was the spirit and practice of
the first Christians. They rejoiced that they were
counted worthy to suffer for Christ. To honour him,
they gladly took the spoiling of their goods, resigned
their dearest friends, and endured persecution and
death- There are those at the present day, who pos-
sess the same spirit ; who willingly give up their
worldly interest, and subject themselves to the hatred
of men, for the sake of their Lord ; who willingly suf-
fer reproach, and expose their name to be trampled
under foot, that Christ may be magnified ; who hold
nothing so dear, that they will not cast it away for
Christ's sake.

APPENDIX. 203

Do you still ask, where such characters are to be
found? I answer again, wherever there are CHRISTIANS.
You may fix your eye upon ministers of the Gospel,
upon ambassadors of Christ in Pagan lands, and upon
good men in the various walks of life, who give, I say
not the same degree, but the same kind of evidence of
devotion to Christ, with that which was given by the
holy Apostles. And he who slights the evidence of
supreme love to Christ, which those exhibit, would
equally slight the evidence, which should be exhibited
by a new race of APOSTLES and MAKTYRS.

The reward of Christians is as certain, as their devo-
tion to Christ is sincere. They receive an hundredfold
tVf this present life. Great peace have they, who love
God's law. The wicked, from the very nature ot their
affections, are like the troubled sea when it cannot restt
w/iose waters cast up mire and dirt. But cordial devo-
tion to Christ, imparts serenity and peace to the soul.
How happy are they, who cast off the slavery of pas-
sion, who have given up the vain cares and pursuits,
which distract the minds of worldlings, and yielded
themselves wholly to God, resting in him as their all
in all.

To them belongs the pleasure of benevolence. As
this is their ruling affection, they must be happy in
proportion as its object is promoted. That object,
which is primarily the prosperity and happiness of the
kingdom of Christ, is absolutely secure. Christians
know it to be so, and therefore enjoy a peace, which
no adversity can destroy In all that they do, and in
all that others do, to advance the welfare of the Re-
deemer's kingdom, they partake the purest pleasure.
Let them see the glory or' God displayed in the salva-
tion of sinners ; let them see the Church look forth as
the morning; let them enjoy communion with Christ ;

204 APPENDIX.

and they have enough. This is their object, their
treasure, the heritage which they have chosen. The
eternal glory of God, and the boundless good of his
kingdom, is an object infinitely excellent, and worthy
of supreme regard. The pleasures of those who are
devoted to this glorious object, and see that it is per-
fectly secure, is a kind of divine pleasure, partaking
of the nature of its divine and infinite object.

I am well aware, that these are unintelligible things
to those who are destitute of religion. What does a
man, without taste, know of the sweetness of the honey-
comb ? How can blindness perceive the pleasantness of
light, or deafness the charms of music? But inquire
of those who are entitled to speak on the subject,—
inquire of fervent Christians, what the rewards of self-
denial are. With one voice they answer, that those
who forsake all for Christ, receive an hundred -fold, even
in this life.

It is the uniform method of divine grace, to give
spiritual comfort to those who are freed from earthly
affection. The more the world is excluded from the
hearts of believers, the more they are tilled with all the
fulness of God. Blessed exchange ! What tongue can
describe the happiness of the saints, when they part
with all that they have for the name of Christ, and
He, their all-gracious Saviour and friend, takes up his
dwelling in their heart! Oh what peace! What quiet-
ness! What a beginning of Heaven ! Ask the Apo-
stles, in the midst of their labours, privations, and
sufferings whether they are losers on Christ's account?
You hear them speaking of perpetual triumph, of
comfort in tribulation, of joy un.vpeakable and full of
glory. The lonely desert, through wliich, with weary
steps, they travel, witnesses their joy. The dungeon,
where they are chained, witnesses their holy transports,

APPENDIX, 80S

and hears their midnight praises. Perils innumerable
by land and sea, weariness and painfulness, cold and
hunger, prisons, stripes, and tortures, cannot deprive
them of their joy.

But all the enjoyment of Christians in this life, is
only the beginning of their blessedness. The consum-
mation of it, is the everlasting life which they will
inherit in the world to come. It will be a life of perfect
holiness, and perfect endless joy. They will live in
the society of holy angels, and dwell in the presence
of their blessed Lord, who loved them, and gave him-
self for them. While they behold his glory and enjoy
his love, they will perfectly possess the object of all
their desires. They wish for no higher happiness,
than to enjoy God for ever. This is everlasting life.
Give them this, and they ask no more.

I have been led to this train of reflections, by an
event which has lately arrested the attention of the
public, and caused sensations of unusual tenderness in
the friends of Zion. You are aware, that I refer to
the lamented death of Mrs HARRIET NEWELL. I re-
joice that, after the most intimate acquaintance with
that excellent woman, I am able to say, that she hap-
pily exemplified the character which I have drawn.
From the uniform tenor of her conduct for several
years, we are fully persuaded that she was one who
forsook all for Christ, and who received an hundred-
fold in this present life. And on the ground of God's
immutable promise, we are equally persuaded, that she
now inherits everlasting life i n heaven.

But let God, our Saviour, have the glory of all the
moral beauty which adorned her character. The tem-
per of mind which she manifested, was contrary to
every principle of human nature, while unrenewed.
If she was indeed, what she appeared to be, it was by

206 APPENDIX.

the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the
Holy Ghost.

Before she indulged a hope that she was a subject
of spiritual renovation, she had a long season of dis-
tressing conviction, careful self-examination, and earn-
est prayer. She could not admit the comfortable
conclusion, that she was born again, before she was
conscious that she had given herself to the Lord, and
yielded sincere obedience to his holy commands.

Long before she thought her own salvation secure,
she began to exercise an enlarged affection for the
kingdom of Christ, and to be fervent in her prayers
for the building up of Zion. and the salvation of the
Heathen. This became the prominent feature of her
religion — the supreme object of her pursuit. A con-
siderable time before a Foreign Mission from this
country was contemplated, the universal diffusion of
the Christian religion was the favourite subject of her
meditations and prayers.

When, in the course of Divine Providence, one of
those, who had devoted themselves to the Foreign
Mission, sought her as the companion of his labours
and sufferings, her great concern was to discover the
tvill of God. When she became satis6ed respecting
her duty, her determination was fixed. Here you
come to the point where her character began to assume
a lustre, which excited the admiration of all who
shared her friendship. Through the grace of God,
she entirely consecrated herself to the establishment of
the kingdom of Christ in Pngan lands. To this great
and glorious object, all her thoughts and studies, her
desires and prayers tended. It was with a view to this,
that she considered her talents and acquirements of
any special importance. Even her health and life

APPENDIX.

207

seemed of little consequence to her, except in relation
to this grand object.

But this enure self devotion bad no more tendency
to blunt the sensibilities of her heart, or to extinguish
her natural affections, than the supreme love of God
has in any case whatever. Every Christian is the sub-
ject of an affection which holds an entire superiority
over the natural affections, and makes them subser-
vient to its purposes. Had our natural affections been
designed, as the highest principles of action, the Lord
Jesus would never have set up another principle above
them. Our dear departed friend, did not more truly
rise above the natural principles of action, than every
Christian does, when he seeks the glory of God in the
common business of life. The nature of her affections
was the same with that of Christians generally. If
there was a difference, it consisted in this, that she
was more earnest and undivided in her attachment.
It is to this circumstance, that we must trace her pe-
culiar magnanimity, and elevation of spirit As all the
powers of her soul were united in one grand object,
she rose to an uncommon pitch of energy ; and things,
seemingly impossible to others, became practicable
and easy to her.

In acquiring the force and decision of character,
which she finally exhibited, it was of great importance,
that the question of duty was fully settled in her own
mind. Had not this been done, she must have beea
often turned aside from her object by secret mis-
givings of conscience. Her attachment to the object
must have been weakened ; and every step must have
been taken haltingly and tremblingly. But by much
deliberation, and many prayers to God for direction,
the question of duty was at length settled ; afrer which
she proceeded without wavering. Devoted as she was,

208 APPENDIX.

to the cause of Christ, and borne on with a strong de-
sire of advancing it in Heathen lands, she was prepared
for trials The hardships and sufferings, peculiar to
the Missionary life, became perfectly familiar. They
were so closely associated in her mind with the glory
of God, and the conversion of the Heathen, and so
continually mingled with her purest affections and joys,
that, instead of aversion and dread, they excited sen-
sations of delight.

Is it possible that a character so elevated, should
not be universally admired? Is it possible that any
should be found capable of admitting the thought,
that conduct so noble, so Christ-like, was owing to a
weak or misguided zeal ? Shall I stoop to notice so
unworthy a surmise ? If compassion to those who in-
dulge it require, I will. Look, then, upon the Apos-
tles, and primitive Christians, who were so united and
consecrated to the Saviour, that they were willing to
endure the greatest evils for his sake; whose ardent
love to him rendered every affliction light, and recon-
ciled them to the agonies of a violent death. Will
you urge the charge of misguided zeal against the
holy Apostles?

The character of Mrs NEWELL, instead of being
exposed to any dishonourable imputation, had an ex-
cellence above the reach of mere human nature. Be-
hold a tender female, when all the sensibilities of the
heart are most lively, united to friends and country by
a thousand ties; a female of refined education, with
delightful prospects in her own country ; behold her
voluntarily resigning so many dear earthly objects, for
a distant Pagan land. But this fact becomes still
more remarkable, when we consider the circumstances
attending it. She made these sacrifices calmly ; with
a sober deliberation ; in the exercise of those sensili*

APPENDIX. 209

lilies which would be overwhelming to mankind in
genera], and yet with steady, unyielding jirmness ; and
all this, not for wealth, or fame, or any earthly object,
but to make known among the Heathen the unsearchable
riches of Christ.

I should blush to offer a vindication of a character
so fair and exalted as that of HARRIET NEWELL, a
lovely saint, who has finished her course, and gone to
receive an unfading crown. But if there be any one
base enough to envy such excellence, or rash enough
to impute extravagance, and folly ; I would refer him
to a case not wholly unlike the present. On a certain
occasion, Mary came to Jesus, as he sat at meat, hav-
ing an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and
poured it on his head. Judas, and some others insti-
gated by him, charged her with extravagance and
waste. But Jesus approved her conduct, declared
that she had wrought a good work, and that it should
be known for a memorial of her, wherever the Gospel
should be preached in the whole world.

Do I still hear it said by some foolish calculator,
that ' she threw herself away ?' But do you not ap-
plaud the conduct of a man, who goes to the earth's
end to glorify a worldly passion ? And can you think
it reasonable to make greater sacrifices for self-interest,
than for the kingdom of Christ ? — * Threw herself
away /* What ! Does a devoted Christian, who for
the love of Jesus, forsakes all that she has, to receive
an hundreu-fold here, and life evenasting in Heaven,
throw herself away ?

Should any ask, what that hundredfold reward was,
our appeal would be to herself, to her peace, and
quietness, and joy in God. For several of the last
months that she spent at home, and from the time of

210

APPENDIX.

her leaving America till her death, her religious enjoy*
ment was almost constant, and at times elevated.

In her last interview with her beloved friends in
America, and in the scene of final separation, the con-
solations of the Spirit supported her, and produced
not only a tender meekness and calmness of mind, but
astonishing resolution. Her happy serenity continued
through the dangers of a long voyage, and amid all
the difficulties which befel her, after arriving in India.
Her spiritual enjoyment was not materially interrupted
by the various distresses, which prevented the esta-
blishment of the mission; nor by the sufferings she
was subsequently called to endure ; no, not even by
the pangs which rent her heart, over a dear infant
child, wasting away with sickness, and soon committed
to a watery grave. Through all this sorrow and suf-
fering, the Lord was with her, and gave her rest.
During her last long and perilous voyage, separated
by half the globe from the presence of a mother, whose
presence was more tha<n ever needed, and without a
.single female companion, she could thus write : « It is
for Jesus, v.ho sacrificed the joys of his Father's king-
dom and expired on the cross to redeem a fallen
world, that thus I wander from place to place, and feel
no where at home. How reviving the thought ! How
great the consolation it yields to my sinking heart !—
Let the severest trials and disappointments fall to my
lot, guilty and weak as I am, yet 1 think I can rejoice
in the Lord, and joy in the God of my salvation.'

In her last illness, which was attended with many
distressing circumstances, she possessed her soul in
patience and peace. God was pleased to manifest
himself to her, as he does not to the world. * During
her whole sickness, she talked in the most familiar
.manner, and with great delight, of death and the

APPENDIX.

glory that was to follow.' At a certain time, being
advised by a physician to cast off such gloomy thoughts,
* she replied, that those thoughts were cheering and
joyful beyond what words could express.' When
it was intimated to her, that she could not live through
another day ; * Oh joyful news ! she replied, / long to
depart ; and added soon after, ' that death appeared
to her truly welcome and glorious.'

But the simple narrative of her afflicted husband
shows, better than any thing which I can say, that
amid all the pain and languishment of sickness, and in
the near view of death, she had that enjoyment of God
her Saviour, and that hope of a blessed immortality,
which was an hundred-fold better than all she had for-
saken.

To her widowed Mother, this is an affecting scene.
But in the midst of your sorrows, dear Madam, forget
not what reason you have to be comforted. Remem-
ber the grace of God, which was manifested to your
dear Harriet, which, we trust, effectually sanctified her
heart, and brought her to love the Lord Jesus Christ
in sincerity. While you mourn for her earthly death,
bless God that you do not mourn over a child, who
lived without God, and died without hope. Call to
remembrance her dutiful and pious temper ; her re-
solved and peaceful mind in the parting hour ; and the
fortitude and resignation, which she afterwards exer-
cised under her various afflictions. Give thanks to
God for the consolations which were afforded her
through a languishing sickness. Her amiable and
elevated conduct reflected honour upon the grace of
God. Through all her sufferings, especially when her
dissolution drew near, she displayed a character that
was ripe for Heaven

It must afford you peculiar satisfaction to contem-

APPENDIX.

plate the usefulness of her life. ' That life is long,
which answers life's great end.' This was eminently
the case with your beloved daughter. Had she lived
in retirement, or moved in a small circle, her influence,
though highly useful, must have been circumscribed.
But now, her character has, by Divine Providence,
been exhibited upon the most extensive theatre, and
excited the attention and love of Christian nations.
Yea, may we not hope, that her name will be remem-
bered by the millions of Asia, whose salvation she so
ardently desired, and that the savour of her piety will,
through Divine grace, be salutary to Pagan tribes yet
unborn ? Madam, what comforts are these ? comforts
which many mourning parents would gladly purchase
with their lives. Let your sorrow then be mingled
with praise. Render thanks to God, and magnify his
name, that he has given you a daughter, so lovely in
her character, so useful in her life, so resigned in her
sufferings, so tranquil and happy in her death. It is
better to be the parent of such a daughter, than to
have brought forth a child to bear the sceptre of the
earth. Nor is she the less precious, or the less yours,
because she is absent from the body and present with
the Lord. Dwell upon these cheering thoughts, and
enjoy these comforts ; and may all your surviving
children enjoy them too. In her example, in her diary
and letters, and in her dying counsels, she has left
them a legacy, which cannot be too highly prized*
Let me affectionately intreat you, my beloved friends,
to attend seriously to the weighty counsels, which you
have received from the dying lips of a dear sister. In
her name, in the name of her bereaved husband, by
whose request I now address you, and in the name of
her God and Saviour, I do now, from this sacred
place, repeat that solemn counsel. God Almighty

APPENDIX,

open your hearts to receive the message. * Tell them,
she said, * tell them from the lips tf their dying sister,
that there is nothing but lehgion worth tiring Jbr Oh
exhort them to attend immediately to the care of their
immortal souls, and not to delay repentance. Let my
brothers and sisters know that 1 love them to the end,
I hope to meet them in Heaven But Oh if 1 should

not' No wonder that tears bursting from her eyes,

and her sobs of grief at the thought of an eternal se-
paration from you, prevented her saying more. * May
the Spirit of Truth carry her dying intreaties, and
tears, and sighs to your hearts,' and engage you to
follow her, as she followed Christ. This dear departed
friend wished you to partake with her the joys of sal-
vation. She never repented of her undertaking; never
regretted leaving her native Jand for the cause of
Christ. And could she return and live on earth again,
instead of retracting her labours and sacrifices for the
advancement of the Redeemer's cause, she would re-
pair to him earlier, give up all for him more cheerfully,
and serve him with greater zeal. Imitate her humility,
self-denial, and faith, that you may again enjoy her
society, and dwell with her for ever, where sorrow
and death shall never enter.

In the death of Mrs NEWELL, her husband sustains a
loss, which no language can adequately describe, and
no earthly good compensate. God, whose ways are
unsearchable, has taken from him the wife of his youth,
a companion eminently qualified to aid him in all his
labours, to soothe him in all his sorrows, and to further
the great work in which he is engaged. Had he no-
thing but earthly good to comfort him, a mind so quick
to feel, would be overwhelmed with grief. But he
will not forget the God of all comfort. He will re-
member that gracious Redeemer, who took him out of

APPENDIX.

the horrible pit and miry clay; who shed upon the
darkness that once enveloped him, a cheering light ;
who inspired him with hope, and put it into his heart
to preach salvation to those who are perishing for lack
of vision. This mighty Redeemer will he the rock of
his confidence, and a very present help in the time of
trouble. It must be a subject of delightful recollec-
tion to our afflicted brother, that he has enjoyed the
privilege of being united, in the dearest of all relations,
with one of so amiable a temper, of an understanding
so highly improved, of benevolence and piety so emi-
nent, and so entirely devoted to the best of causes.
He will also love to remember the favour which God
has conferred upon his beloved partner, in enabling
her to do and suffer so much, and permitting her to
die thus early for the name of Jesus ; in permitting
her to be the^rs^ martyr to the Missionary cause from
the American world ; in removing her after so short a
warfare, from a world of sin and sorrow, and carrying
her so quickly through a course of discipline, which
prepared her for a crown of distinguished glory. The
God of Jacob bless and comfort our dear brother, and
give him strength according to his day. And may
this severe trial be turned to the furtherance of the
Gospel among the Heathen.

Friends of the Missionary Cause! — Let not your
hearts be troubled by the adverse circumstances which
have attended the commencement of our FOREIGN
MISSION. Recollect the various hindrances, disap-
pointments, and sufferings, encountered by the APOS-

1LES, THE FIRST MISSIONARIES OF CHRIST; who yet

were destined to spread the triumphs of his cross
through the world. The experience of ages leads us
to expect that designs of great moment, especially
those which relate to the advancement of Christ's

APPENDIX. 215

kingdom, will be opposed by mighty obstacles. The
adverse circumstances, therefore, which have attended
the outset of our Foreign Mission, are far from pre-
senting any discouragement. They rather afford new
evidence, that this Mission is to be numbered with
all other enterprises, calculated to promote the honour
of God and the welfare of men. These various trials,
brethren, are doubtless intended not only to qualify
Missionaries for greater usefulness, but also to humble
and purify all, who are labouring and praying for the
conversion of the Heathen. How effectually do these
events teach us, that no human efforts can insure suc-
cess , thai the best qualifications of missionaries abroad,
with the largest liberality and most glowing zeal of
thousands at home, will be of no efficacy, without the
blessing of God When, by salutary discipline, he
shall have brought his servants to exercise suitable
humility and dependance, and in other respects pre-
pared the way, no doubt he will give glorious success.
The cause is his ; and it is vain to depend for its pros-
perity on human exertions. The death of Mrs NEWKLL,
instead of overcasting our prospects, will certainly
turn to the advantage of missions. It will correct and
instruct tho.*e who are labouring for the spread of the
Gospel. The publication of her virtues will quicken
and edify thousands. It will also make it apparent,
that the missionary cause has irresistible attractions
for the most excellent characters. Her character will
be identified with that holy cause. Henceforth, every
one who remembers HARRIET NEWELL, will remem-
ber THE FOREIGN MISSION FROM AMERICA. And
every one, who reads the history of this Mission, will
be sure to read the faithful record of her exemplary
life and triumphant death. Thus, all her talents, the
advantages of her education, the beauties of her mind.

SI 6 APPENDIX.

and the amiableness of her manners, her refined taste,
her willingness to give up all that was dear to her in
her native land; her fervent love to Christ, her desires
and prayers for the advancement of his kingdom ; her
patience and fortitude in suffering, and the divine con-
solations which she enjoyed, — will all redound to the
honour of that sacred cause, to which all she had was
devoted Her life, measured by months and years,
was short ; but far otherwise, when measured by what
she achieved. She was the happy instrument of much
good to the holy kingdom of Christ, which deserved all
her affections and all hjr labours. She died in a glo-
rious cause. Nor did she pray, and weep, and die in
vain Other causes may miscarry ; but this will cer-
tainly triumph. The LORD GOD of Israel has pledged
his perfections for its success. The time is at hand,
when the various tribes of India, and all the nations
and kindreds of the earth, shall fall down before the
KING OF ZION, and submit cheerfully to his reign.
A glorious work is to be done among the nations.
Christ is to see the travail of his soul, and all his be-
nevolent desires are to be satisfied. . The infinite value
of his atoning blood is to be completely and universally
illustrated ; and the full orbed splendour of redeeming
love is every where to shine forth. The power of God
will soon accomplish a work, which, seen in distant
prospect, has made many thousands, now sleeping in
Jesus, before leap for joy. Blessed are they who are
destined to live, when the earth shall be filled with the
glory of the Lord. And blessed are we, who live so
near that day, and even begin to see its bright and
glorious dawn. O SUN OF RIGHTEOUSNESS arise.
Shine upon the dark places of the earth ; illuminate
all the world. AMEN.

APPENDIX.

No. II.

A brief Account of the American Missions.

[From the Introduction to Dr Woods' Sermon,
preached ' on occasion of the Ordination of the
Rev. Messrs Newell, Judson, Hall, Rice, and
Nott, Missionaries to the Heathen in Asia.']

IT seems proper that in this place, some account
should be given of the origin and progress of that Mis-
sionary zeal, which has issued in sending messengers of
peace to publish the Gospel in the eastern hemisphere.
It has been often said, within a few years past, that
Christians in America ought to support missions among
the Heathen in Africa or Asia; but the writer of these
paragraphs is not able to state, whether any young
man of suitable public education seriously thought of
engaging personally in such a mission, earlier than
about four years ago. About that time some of the
young men mentioned Just below, while pursuing their
studies in different places, and unacquainted with each
other, made missions among the Heathen a subject of
deliberate and prayerful contemplation, and resolved
to devote themselves to this service, should Providence
prepare the way. They considered it doubtful, how-
ever, whether they should have an opportunity of en-
gaging in this employment ; and in the mean time they
sedulously examined, and re-examined the subject, and
used every advantage in their power to gain informa-
tion respecting the state of the Heathen, and the en-
couragement to preach the Gospel among them.

218 APPENDIX.

In the spring of 1810, these young gentlemen, with
others who joined them, disclosed their views to the
Professors in the Theological Seminary at Andover,
where they were then prosecuting their studies. In
June following, they applied for advice and direc-
tion to the General Association of Massachusetts
Proper, then sitting at Bradford. The application was
made in writing, and signed by Messrs Adoniram
Judson, Samuel Nott, Samuel J. Mills, and Samuel
Newell. They state the history of their views and
feelings on the subject, and make several inquiries,
with respect to which they solicit the advice of their
fathers in the church. The Association appointed a
Committee to make report on the application ; and in
consequence of the report, proceeded to institute a
Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions, « for
the purpose of devising ways and means, and adopting
and prosecuting measures for promoting the spread of
the Gospel in Heathen lands.' The Board was com-
posed of nine gentlemen well-known to the Christian
public. The Association advised the young gentlemen
' to wait the guidance of Providence in respect to
their great and excellent design.' The Board of Com-
missioners held their first meeting at Farmington,
(Con.) Sept. 5, 1810. After forming a constitution,
and appointing officers, they took measures to obtain
the best information in their power, respecting the
state of unevangelized nations ; highly approved the
readiness of the young gentlemen at Andover to enter
upon a Foreign Mission ; and advised them to pursue
their studies * till further information relating to the
missionary field should be obtained, and the finances
of the institution should justify the appointment.'
They also prepared and published an address on the
subject of missions.

APPENDIX. £19

The Board met again at Worcester, Sept. 18, 1811.
During the year which had elapsed, the Prudential
Committee of the Board examined and approved of
four young gentlemen, as future missionaries to the
Heathen ; viz. Messrs Judson, Nott, and Newell, above-
named, and Mr Gordon Hall, also a student at An-
dover. Mr Mills had not finished his theological edu-
cation, and was not examined with his brethren. The
Committee also sent Mr Judson to England, to confer
with the Board or Directors of the London Missionary
Society, and to procure important information on the
subject of missions, which could not be so well pro-
cured in any other way. lie was welcomed with yreat
cordiality by the Directors, who engaged to take him
and his three brethren under their care, and to allow
them salaries, and employ them on a mission, if the
funds of the American Board should not be competent
to their support.

The Board appointed the four brethren above-named
Missionaries, ' to labour in Asia, eiiher in the Birman
empire, in Surat, or in the Prince of Wales' Island, or
elsewhere, as in the view of the Prudential Committeej
Providence shall open the most favourable door ;' and
advised them • to wait the further intimaiion of Pro-
vidence as to support from this country (America) in
the proposed Foreign Mission.'

At this meeting Mr James Richards and Edward
Warren, students at Andover, offered themselves to the
Board for the missionary service, and were approved
and taken under the patronage of the Board.

The missionary brethren were, in the meantime, fit-
ting themselves for their future arduous employment.
Messrs Newell and Hall attended courses of medical
lectures both at Boston and Philadelphia, in order to
be more extensively useful among the Heathen.

APPENDIX.

About the middle of January, 1812, it was found
that a ship was soon to sail from Philadelphia to Cal-
cutta. No time was to be lost. Robert Ralston, Esq.
of Philadelphia, with that zeal for missions and for
Christianity which he has long manifested, took an
active and very friendly part in facilitating the embar-
kation of the young men, both by procuring passages
for them on very favourable terms, and by making a
generous donation. Messrs Newell and Hall hastened
to meet their brethren at Salem, where it was deter-
mined by the Prudential Committee to have them
ordained, and to send them immediately to the field
of missionary labour. Mr Luther Rice, who had been
a studt nt in the same theological seminary, and was
then employed as a candidate for the ministry, offered
himself to the Prudential Committee to join the mis-
sion, and was approved and accepted. The Prudential
Committee sent to several neighbouring churches, and
convened a Council* at Salem on the 6th of February,
at which time and place the five young gentlemen were
solemnly consecrated to the service of God in the gos-
pel ministry among the Hrathen. On this occasion
the order of the public exercises was as follows : —
The Rev. Dr Griffin made the introductory prayer ;
the Rev. Dr Woods preached the sermon from Psalm
Ixvii. ; the Rev. Dr Morse offered the consecrating
prayer; the Rev. Dr Spring delivered the charge; the
Jlev. Dr Worcester presented the right hand of fellow-
ship ; and the Rev. Dr Spring made the concluding
prayer.

* The Council was composed of pastors and delegates from the
north congregational church in Newburyport, the congregational
church in Charlestown, and the tabernacle church in Salem ; also of
the Rev. Dr Griffin, pastor of Park Street church in Boston, and
the Rev. Dr Woods, Professor at Andover. The Rev. Professor
Stuart was ir.vited to attend, but was necessarily prevented,

APPENDIX.

It is confidently believed, that such impressions
were made on the crowded auditory by the solemnities
of the day, as will be lasting and salutary. Three of
the persons ordained, viz. Messrs Nott, Hall, and Rice,
set out on the same evening to go with all practicable
haste to Philadelphia*. The other two sailed with
their wives from Salem, in the brig Caravan, on the
morning of Wednesday, the 19th ultimo, commended
by the prayers of multitudes to the gracious protection
of God.

These transactions may justly be considered as
forming a new and important oera in the annals of the
American churches, the cera of foreign missions. It is
natural to indulge in pleasing anticipations of the
blessings which, with the Divine assistance, these
Missionaries may be the means of communicating to
Asia. But while we leave the issue of this benevolent
enterprise to the disposal of Infinite Wisdom, the good
effects of these missionary exertions among ourselves,
ought to be mentioned with devout gratitude. Chris-
tians feel more sensibly than ever the value of their
holy religion, while devoting their money and their
time to extend its blessings to the Heathen. Chris-
tians of different denominations, who Jove our Lord
Jesus Christ in sincerity, experience the blessedness
of uniting in this catholic labour of love.

A few additional particulars in regard to the Mis-
sions in America, are blended with the statement
contained in No. III.

* Mr Nott was married on his way to Philadelphia, and took
Mrs Nott with him ; the other two went single.

They went on board the Ship Harmony (in which they had taken
their passage) on the evening of the 18th ult. and left the American
coest on the 24th.

APPENDIX.

No. III.

Some further Particulars respecting Mr NEW ELI,
and his Companions in India.

.THE preceding Memoir has excited no small interest
in regard to the subsequent history of these Mission-
aries, and particularly that of Mr NEWELL. The
following statement is therefore subjoined to the pre-
sent Edition.

One month subsequent to the date of Mr Newell's
last letter, of 23d February 1813*, he left the Isle of
France, and after a residence of about ten months at
Columbo, in the Island of Ceylon, he embarked for
Goa. On his way, he visited the Jewish synagogues
at Cochin, and the Syrian church at Candenad. On
the 24?th Feb. 1814, he arrived at Goa, where he vi-
sited most of the Colleges, Churches and Monasteries,
saw the Vicar General of the Dominicans, dined with
the superior of the Augustinians, and called on father
Josephus a Doloribus, the late Inquisitor, mentioned
by Dr Buchanan. He then found that the Inquisition
had been lately abolished, by order of the Prince Re-
gent of Portugal : though it was said that the Arch-
bishop retained all the power which formerly lodged
in the Court of the Inquisition.

Mr Newell had been now more than two years se-
parated from his brethren, and he had been most
deeply afflicted ; but all of them had passed through
many trying scenes. At this period, Messrs Nott and
Hall were at Bombay, and Mr Newell, who had left
Ceylon, with the intention of joining them, arrived
• See page 194.

APPENDIX.

there on the 2d of March. On Sabbath the 27th of
this month, they, for the first time in a Heathen land,
enjoyed the pleasure of uniting together in celebrating
their Redeemer's death. On this occasion, Mr Newell
says, ' There was a variety of circumstances attending
this transaction, which were peculiarly calculated to
affect our minds. We were naturally led to look back
on all the way in which the Lord had led us, since we
devoted ourselves to the Missionary cause, and parti-
cularly since we came to this land. Two of our bre-
thren* who came with us to this country, had been
separated from us, and had gone to different and dis-
tant countries, and we expected to see them no more
in this world. One of our little number had finished
her work, and received an early release from the pain
and toils of the Missionary pilgrimage : though, on
our own account, we could not but mourn her absence,
yet we had reason also to rejoice in the hope that she
had entered into her rest ; and although she could not
return to us, yet if we were the children of God, we
should go to her, and partake with her at the supper
of the Lamb.' Next month, (viz. April 1814-) Messrs
Hall and Nott addressed a letter to the Society in
America, in which they say, ' Our hopes are strong,
and we look on the prospect with great delight. We
have great reason to acknowledge the kind attention
paid to our circumstances and wishes by the Rev. Dr
Carey, the Rev. Mr Thomason and George Udny, Esq.
acting as your Committee in Calcutta. To their ef-
forts, under God, we are indebted for the hopes we
now enjoy.' During the remainder of 1814-, these
three brethren were diligently employed in the requi-
site preparations and arrangements for the establish-
ment of the Mission, and for the eventual extension
* Messrs Juclson and Rice, of whom some account will follow,

APPENDIX.

and success of their labours. The latest intelligence,
received by way of America from Bombay, is dated
24-th May 1815. In their circular letter, the American
Board say, ' We cannot refrain from observing, that
the writings and the conduct of our Missionaries at
Bombay, prove them to be possessed of rare qualifica-
tions for the office which they sustain. The memorials
preferred to the Governor of that Presidency by
Messrs Nott and Hall, and the pious resignation,
mingled with the most delicate sensibility, exhibited
by Mr Newell, under the chastening hand of his Hea-
venly Father, have endeared these brethren to all who
feel an interest in the prosperity of the Mission*.'

We are sorry to add, that since the date of these
accounts from America, Mr Nott's declining state of
health has obliged him to withdraw from the Station,
and return to America. He came by way of England,
and has lately left it.

It now only remains to add a few particulars in re-
gard to Messrs Judson and Rice. These last, uniting
themselves with the Serampore Missionaries, Mr Jud-
son joined Mr Felix Carey at Rangoon in the Burman
Empire, and Mr Rice returned to America, with a
view to increase the zeal of the American Baptists in
the support of Missions.

Soon after it became known in America, that Messrs
J. and R. had adopted the views of the Baptists,
measures were taken by persons of that denomination
in the United States to support them in India as their
Missionaries; and before Mr Rice returned, in Sep-
tember 1813, several Societies were established. He
entered on a journey in the Southern States— -Auxili-

* * It is hardly necessary to say, that we refer to the death of
Mrs Newell and her infant child. What this woman did for the
Gospel, is every where told for a memorial of her,'

APPENDIX. 225

ary Societies were formed in ail the states of ihe
Union, &c. These measures ultimate!} led to the
establishment of * the Baptist Missionary Convention
and Board of Foreign Missions.' Mr Rice will ere
long proceed again to India, and in the meanwhile Mr
and Mrs Judson are labouring at Rangoon. Between
the two latter and Mr and Mrs Newell, there evidently
existed a strong attachment ; and as the following
letter alludes with so much feeiing to the beloved
Harriet, it cannot fail to interest the reader.

Rangoon, April 23, 1814.
My dear Brother Newell,

A FEW days since, we received yours of December 18th, the
only one we have ever received since you left us at Port Louis. It
brought fresh to my mind a recollection of scenes formerly enjoyed
in our dear native country. Well do I remember our first interest-
ing conversations on Missions, and on the probable events which
awaited us in India. Well do I remember the dear parental habi-
tation, where you were pleased to favour me with your confidence
relative to a companion for life. And well do I remember the
tune, when I first carried your message to the mother of our dear
Harriet, when the excellent woman exclaimed, with tears in her
eyes, ' I dare not, I cannot speak against it.' Those were happy
days. Newell and Judson, Harriet and Nancy, then were united
in the strictest friendship ; then anticipated spending their lives to-
gether in sharing the trials and toils, the pleasures and enjoyments
of a Missionary life. But alas ! behold us now ! In the Isle of
France, solitary and alone, lies all that was once visible of the
lovely Harriet. A melancholy wanderer on the Island of Ceylon is
our brother Newell ; and the savage Heathen Empire of Burmah,
is destined to be the future residence of Judson and Nancy. But
is this separation to be for ever ? Shall we four never again enjoy
social, happy intercourse ? No, my dear brother, our separation is
of short duration. There is a rest, a peaceful happy rest, where
Jesus reigns, where we four soon shall meet to part no more.
Forgive my gloomy feelings, or rather forgive my communicating
them to you, whose memory, no doubt, is ever ready to furnish
more than enough for your peace.

APPENDIX.

As Mr Judson will not have time to write to you by this oppor-
tunity, I will endeavour to give you some idea of our situation here,.
and of our plans and prospects. We have found the country as we
expected, in a most deplorable state, full of darkness, idolatry, and
cruelty — full of commotion and uncertainty. We daily feel, that
the existence and perpetuity of this mission, still in an infant state,
depend, in a peculiar manner, on the interposing hand of Provi-
dence, and from this impression alone, we are encouraged still to
remain. As it respects our temporal privations, use has made
them familiar and easy to be borne ; they are of short duration,
and when brought in competition with the worth of immortal souls,
sink into nothing. We have no society, no dear Christian friends,
and, with the exception of two or three sea captains who now and
then call on us, we never see an Kuropean face But then we are
still happy in each other, still find that our own home is our best,
our dearest friend. When we feel a disposition to sigh for the en-
joyments of our native country, we turn our eyes on the miserable
objects around. We behold some of them labouring hard for a
scanty subsistence, oppressed by an avaricious government, which
is ever ready to seize what industry had hardly earned ; we behold
others sick and diseased, daily begging the few grains of rice, which,
when obtained, are scarcely sufficient to protract their wretched ex-
istence, and with no other i^abitation to screen them om the
burning sun, or chilly rains, than what a email piece of cloth raised
on four bamboos, under the shade of a tree, can afford. While we
behold these scenes, we feel that we have all the comforts, and, in
comparison, even the luxuries of life. We feel that our temporal
cup of blessings is full, and runneth over. But is our temporal lot
so much superior to theirs ? O how infinitely superior our spiritual
blessings ! While they vainly imagine to purchase promotion in
another state of existence, by strictly worshipping their idols, and
building pagodas, our hopes of future happiness are fixed on the
Lamb of God who taketh away the sin of the world. When we
have a realizing sense of these things, my dear brother, we forget
our native country and former enjoyments, feel contented and happy
with our lot, with but one wish remaining, that of being instru-
mental of leading these Burmans to partake of the same source of
happiness with ourselves.

Respecting our plans, we have at present but one, that of apply-
ing ourselves closely to the acquirement of the language, and to
have as little to do with government as possible. Mr Carey has?

APPENDIX.

jiever yet preached in Burman ; but has made considerable pro-
gress towards the completion of a grammar and dictionary, which
are a great help to us. At present, however, his time is entirely
taken up with goTernment affairs. It is now almost a year since
he was first ordered up to Ava, which time has been wholly occupied
in the king's business He is just returned from Bengal, is now
making preparations for Ava, where he expects to form a new mis-
sion station His family go with him, consequently we shall be
alone, until the arrival of Mr Rice, who, we hope, will be here ia
six or seven months.

Our progress in the language is slow, as it is peculiarly hard of
acquisition. We can, however, read, write, and converse with to-
lerable ease ; and frequently spend whole evenings very pleasantly
in conversing with our Burman friends. We have been very for-
tunate in procuring good teachers. Mr Judson's teacher is a very
learned man, was formerly a priest, and resided at court. He has
a thorough knowledge of the grammatical construction of the lan-
guage ; likewise of the Palee, the learned language of the Burmans.
We are very anxious to hear from our dear brethren, Nott and
Hall. We firmly believe they will yet be permitted to remain in
India, notwithstanding their repeated difficulties. They have in-
deed had a trying time ; but, perhaps, it is to prepare them for
greater usefulness. We have not yet received our letters from
America, or had the least intelligence what were the contents of
yours. Ours were sent to the Isle of France, about the tune we ar-
rived at Madras, and the vessel which carried them has not been
heard of since. You may easily judge of our feelings at this disap-
pointment Do write us, as soon as possible, the contents of yours,
whom they were from, what news, &c. and if convenient, copy a
few of the most interesting, and send them to us. Yon can hardly
form an idea with what eagerness we receive every scrap of intelli-
gence from any part of the Christian world. Write us long and
frequent letters. Any thing respecting yourself, or the other bre-
thren, will be interesting to us. I do not ask you to excuse this
long letter, for I doubt not your interest in our concerns. Pray for
us, and be assured you are constantly remembered by

Your still affectionate sister,

NANCY Jucsoy.

N. B. Mr Judson desires his love, and says you must receive
this letter as from both of us.

APPENDIX.

To strengthen the hands of Mr and Mrs Judsort,
Mr Hough with his wife and two children, and Mrs C.
W. White, sailed in December for Rangoon, on board
the Benjamin Rush. In reporting this intelligence, the
Editor of the Church Missionary Register has said,
' The Benjamin Rush belongs to Mr Edward Thomson
of Philadelphia, a Prince among the merchants of the
earth, whose praise is in all the churches- He has af-
forded Mr and Mrs H. and their two children, and
Mrs W. a passage to Calcutta, on their way to Ran-
goon, He has done more — he has fitted up two rooms
for their accommodation, and supplied them with
every convenience of board during their passage ; for
all which he refuses to accept the least remuneration ;
and has generously offered the use of his vessels on
any future occasions. The names of such excellent
men as Ralston and Thomson should sound through
the world; not only because in the presence of the
nations, their works so delightfully praise them ; but
as examples, which all owners of the ships of Tarshish
will, it is hoped, before long, delight to emulate.'

FINIS.

LEITH :
ranted by Ogle, Allardice, & Thomson.

17

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